How are you feeling?

I've been struggling the past few weeks with this sort of feeling, well more than usual. I suspect its because uni is starting up again (so Im stressing out already and wondering about the futility of my future). its really unfair how much mental illnesses rob us of the lives we should be living.
Ain't that the damn truth!! :mad:

Are you worrying about being able to get a good job, related to what you are studying at Uni, Loyal?
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Ain't that the damn truth!! :mad:

Are you worrying about being able to get a good job, related to what you are studying at Uni, Loyal?

Honestly I dont know if I'll ever reach the point of being stable enough to hold down a job let alone get a decent job related to what I want to do. Im constantly stressed about it. Uni is such a struggle for me and I generally only have 3 on campus days a week, and they arent even full days, generally like 5 hours. If I can barely manage that, and it takes so much out of me just to make myself do that, how on earth am I ever going to have a proper job again o_O
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Honestly I dont know if I'll ever reach the point of being stable enough to hold down a job let alone get a decent job related to what I want to do. Im constantly stressed about it. Uni is such a struggle for me and I generally only have 3 on campus days a week, and they arent even full days, generally like 5 hours. If I can barely manage that, and it takes so much out of me just to make myself do that, how on earth am I ever going to have a proper job again o_O

Man, oh man, does that ring a bell. :(

Are you seeing a therapist, Loyal?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Don’t know how ah should feel now...

Been feeling quite productive n’ happy these past few days, but just got told about an hour ago that an auntie I haven’t seen since I was a wee lad is, to quote my mother: “Oan her last legs” :( She just telt me outta the blue...
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Man, oh man, does that ring a bell. :(

Are you seeing a therapist, Loyal?

No, I was never good at keeping my appointments, plus most of them hear borderline personality and just shuffle me along with a recommendation for another shrink. I've had so many over the years and I really only liked one of them, well she was the only one who actually did any good (but she quit to become a sport team's physical therapist or something like that?). I dont even have a regular Gp let alone a shrink nowadays :LOL:
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I am a fool who undervalued myself and my role and now, despite at the time being delighted at the deal I got, is less than what people outside of my organisation get.

And because I've agreed to this new salary last year my chances are slim to getting the increase I would like. So my boss was delighted probably at how easy I agreed.

Now if I have to discuss how and why I deserve this increase with my boss, then I'm going to struggle without doing something extraordinary in the next few months. And I might not even get it. And to top it off I'm struggling with my anxiety at work..
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I am a fool who undervalued myself and my role and now, despite at the time being delighted at the deal I got, is less than what people outside of my organisation get.

And because I've agreed to this new salary last year my chances are slim to getting the increase I would like. So my boss was delighted probably at how easy I agreed.

Now if I have to discuss how and why I deserve this increase with my boss, then I'm going to struggle without doing something extraordinary in the next few months. And I might not even get it. And to top it off I'm struggling with my anxiety at work..

Why not point-out that you undervalued yourself from the start and mention all the solid work you've done for the company since? They got a good deal, it's only fair they should recognize it.
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Why not point-out that you undervalued yourself from the start and mention all the solid work you've done for the company since? They got a good deal, it's only fair they should recognize it.

Good point, and also in 1 year you'll have more experience (and maybe a little more confidence) and you can say that you've realized that you could get more elsewhere but of course you would prefere to stay with them if they were decent enough to give you what you deserve. I don't know about other workplaces, but my employer only reacts to Fear. I left 2 times (to travel with no certain date of return, or no certainty of return at all), and both times he gave me a huge raise before departure as a motivation to come back instead of finding a job elsewhere. So now I (try to) negociate my salary a lot more agressively, even though I f*****g hate it.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah guess I should just accept that, besides my above mediocre musical talents, ma life is utter $h!%£. :(

Fuckin’ hate how am huvin tae always put up with the arguments, get let down by excuses. Like actually having tolerate n’ forgive that pish ! Every-fuckin’-time !! :mad: Fed-up hearing able-bodied, lazy, dour-faced c__ts complain to me about how miserable their lives are. Aye, sure... Awrite, ah’ll trade ye... you think your lives $h!%£, live mine for a month n’ see if ya appreciate how good you got it ! It’s not all life o’ luxury being disabled, y’know...

RANT OVER !
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Barely slept for the past few weeks... :( Been lying awake in bed until like 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning for the last 3 days.
With everything that’s gone on lately, I just wish I could get away from it all for awhile. But the idea that the arguments don’t affect me is what my mother wishes to think. :mad: But hey, never mind if listening to constant “Why this, why that” family arguments almost all the time has been pretty commonplace for me going on 20 years now.

Mind you, I probably could f__k off for awhile, since I got all that backdated disability benefits money. :unsure:

But that would just cause another row between my mother and older sister, especially since she’s unaware of the money: “Huh! How come Graeme gets tae f__kin’ piss off somewhere else n’ we’re left here? It’s f__kin’ selfish !”
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Barely slept for the past few weeks... :( Been lying awake in bed until like 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning for the last 3 days.
With everything that’s gone on lately, I just wish I could get away from it all for awhile. But the idea that the arguments don’t affect me is what my mother wishes to think. :mad: But hey, never mind if listening to constant “Why this, why that” family arguments almost all the time has been pretty commonplace for me going on 20 years now.

Mind you, I probably could f__k off for awhile, since I got all that backdated disability benefits money. :unsure:

But that would just cause another row between my mother and older sister, especially since she’s unaware of the money: “Huh! How come Graeme gets tae f__kin’ piss off somewhere else n’ we’re left here? It’s f__kin’ selfish !”


Take a few days to yourself, Graeme. Get out and breathe. Tell your sister you just slept in a park or something. Maybe the guilt will make her act better for a change.
 
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FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
That inspires me, in fact. April 19th is gonna be "beach day" for me. I'm gonna take off with my new puppy and just head to the ocean. By then he'll have had his last round of shots and will be able to go out. I'm not going to tell anyone, it's just going to be a day for me and my little buddy to get out and get away from all the BS.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Take a few days to yourself, Graeme. Get out and breathe. Tell your sister you just slept in a park or something. Maybe the guilt will make her act a little better for a change.

I doubt that. Since last time I telt her tae f_%! off after she refuse answer why she acts how she does, she storm outra the house in a huff n' Mum blamed me for it. Even though she (my sister) was the yin shoutin' n' arguing. :cautious: Which is usually how it goes when opt to open ma gob n' voice my frustration of having to listen to my mother and older sister. The oldest, like me, has just gave up trying to resolve and change things. As our mother doesn't seem to care how these arguments affect all of us.

Anyway, I'll see about getting away for a few days before August, when I'm going to stay in Edinburgh during the 2nd weekend of the Fringe Festival.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
That inspires me, in fact. April 19th is gonna be "beach day" for me. I'm gonna take off with my new puppy and just head to the ocean. By then he'll have had his last round of shots and will be able to go out. I'm not going to tell anyone, it's just going to be a day for me and my little buddy to get out and get away from all the BS.

Sounds good, Fountain. :)(y)
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
That inspires me, in fact. April 19th is gonna be "beach day" for me. I'm gonna take off with my new puppy and just head to the ocean. By then he'll have had his last round of shots and will be able to go out. I'm not going to tell anyone, it's just going to be a day for me and my little buddy to get out and get away from all the BS.

Nothing better or more soul soothing than a beach day with dogs
 
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