How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

Damn, Graeme. I hate to hear that, cancer has hit my family hard.

I hope it's not as bad as it seems.

We’ll know more next week, though, as a surgery appointment has been made for the . So I’m hoping for best... but fearing the worst, as both my dad and his oldest daughter from his 2nd marriage died from the same type of cancer.

On top of that, my Mum’s still recovery from that fall she took a few weeks ago, so I’ve got her health to worry about. And my older sister is be her usual, inconsiderate, ungrateful, temperamental self.

 

[LoyalXenite]

Yesterday I found out that one of my relatives has cancer.

aw thats really shitty, I hope it goes ok <3

 

[BlueDays]

Here he is, doesn't he look like a Gus?

Yes, "Gus" suits him, Fountain!
I would have trouble stopping myself from hugging him 24/7. He is such a cute little munchkin!

 

[FountainandFairfax]

We’ll know more next week, though, as a surgery appointment has been made for the . So I’m hoping for best... but fearing the worst, as both my dad and his oldest daughter from his 2nd marriage died from the same type of cancer.

On top of that, my Mum’s still recovery from that fall she took a few weeks ago, so I’ve got her health to worry about. And my older sister is be her usual, inconsiderate, ungrateful, temperamental self.

I'll say a prayer, Graeme. I hate dreading things, I know you'll be on pins and needles until you find out what's going on.

Yes, "Gus" suits him, Fountain!
I would have trouble stopping myself from hugging him 24/7. He is such a cute little munchkin!

Thanks, Blue; he's a mess.

The first two days he was sweet as pie but now he's a rough-housing little terror. He especially likes trying to bite my beard off.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'll say a prayer, Graeme. I hate dreading things, I know you'll be on pins and needles until you find out what's going on.

Thanks Fountain. This whole situation has made me understand why my mother in particular was so worried about me when I had my orthopaedic surgery.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ye ken summit, I am getting really fed-up with my mother and oldest sister getting on at me about why the middle child is the way she is. My oldest sister asked me this today, after telling me of argument she had over the weekend there with her youngest sister. Apparently , I’ve got some sorta insight into why my older sister is how she is, cuz ah remember when it was me, my older sister and our mother living in the same house together. Fun times ! The shouting, swearing, the slamming doors followed by sobbing. And she still acts like this now, so...

Grab a pencil n’ draw yer own conclusions there, cuz I haven’t a clue, to be honest.

 

[BlueDays]

It is interesting just how much the mental parts of your mind are connected to the physical parts of your body.
My physical body is saying "Enough! No. more. stress!"

Different parts of my body are falling apart.

My physical body is protesting against this insanely long, torment of continual stress!!!!!!
I don't know how much longer I can stand it. It is getting harder and harder to stop my tear ducts from releasing tears down my face, while I am out grocery shopping, or driving.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
No light has appeared for years and years. There is absolutely no reason to believe it ever will.

 

[PeterO]

Decent mood the last few days. I've been off Facebook, as I posted on another thread, and I think it's been good for my mental health, though it's weird not being in communication with the dozen or so people I'd really gotten used to "conversing" with every day. But I realized that a lot of what I missed posting there was really just bragging, showing off stuff I was doing that would look or sound good. I can get sucked into watching movies I don't really want to see or reading books I don't really want to read just so I can say I did so, and shifting away from social media is reducing that instinct.

Feeling some level of restlessness and dissatisfaction, though. I don't feel like I'm achieving much lately -- though I also don't really know what it is I'd want to achieve. I have a comfortable job that provides a comfortable life, and I would like to be able to just be satisfied, but I feel like I need to be striving. Even though I don't really want to.

 

[Graeme1988]

In a good mood. Woke up to my mum handing me a letter that was addressed to me, which was about my back dated disability benefits payments.

And... my claim got accepted ! So I've been rewarded three thousand, two hundred pounds, backed dated from June 2013.

 

[LoyalXenite]

In a good mood. Woke up to my mum handing me a letter that was addressed to me, which was about my back dated disability benefits payments.

And... my claim got accepted ! So I've been rewarded three thousand, two hundred pounds, backed dated from June 2013.

Whoo thats awesome

So we'll all meet at the pub and its your shout right

 

[Graeme1988]

Whoo thats awesome

So we'll all meet at the pub and its your shout right

 

[lily]

In a good mood. Woke up to my mum handing me a letter that was addressed to me, which was about my back dated disability benefits payments.

And... my claim got accepted ! So I've been rewarded three thousand, two hundred pounds, backed dated from June 2013.

Congratulations!

 

[Graeme1988]

Congratulations!

Thanks lily. Am well chuffed aboot it. I’d put the claim in just afore Christmas last year, like a few months prior, and did’nae think anymore o’ it, really. In fact, I was expecting that letter this morning to be an apology letter, saying ma claim was refused due to 6 years in payments I was asking for. Definitely gonna celebrate... get a pack o’ drinks. And ah might treat myself to a couple o’ new guitars while I’m at it.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

It is interesting just how much the mental parts of your mind are connected to the physical parts of your body.
My physical body is saying "Enough! No. more. stress!"

Different parts of my body are falling apart.

My physical body is protesting against this insanely long, torment of continual stress!!!!!!
I don't know how much longer I can stand it. It is getting harder and harder to stop my tear ducts from releasing tears down my face, while I am out grocery shopping, or driving.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
No light has appeared for years and years. There is absolutely no reason to believe it ever will.


View attachment 4382

I have been feeling the same lately, I find that yoga helps, I don't know if it would help you too. What also helps me is to try to have an hour per day where I can just listen to very calm music and breath, or take a walk, (or do yoga), and make a conscious effort to shut down all the worries in my mind. It's not always easy but it gives you a little break. Of course you still have to go back to your troubles afterwards but it gives you some more strenght to hold on tight to your little buoy while life is hitting and shitting all over you And as everything is breaking and falling apart, let's remember things cannot be bad forever because sooner or later you will hit rock bottom and there won't be anything left to destroy, and at that point things can only get better as you rebuild on the ruins.

I realize this post doesn't sound nearly as encouraging as I intended. Oh well.

 

[LoyalXenite]

I realize this post doesn't sound nearly as encouraging as I intended. Oh well.

90% of my posts turn out the same way

 

[Kiwong]

It is interesting just how much the mental parts of your mind are connected to the physical parts of your body.
My physical body is saying "Enough! No. more. stress!"

Different parts of my body are falling apart.

My physical body is protesting against this insanely long, torment of continual stress!!!!!!
I don't know how much longer I can stand it. It is getting harder and harder to stop my tear ducts from releasing tears down my face, while I am out grocery shopping, or driving.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
No light has appeared for years and years. There is absolutely no reason to believe it ever will.


View attachment 4382

Hi Blue, Very true. I suspect the 20 odd years I suffered from anxiety contributed to my stroke. However some of the more positive changes in my life have been due confronting and overcoming knee pain, panic disorder an a stroke. Light can appear, after the darkest of times, if you stay open to all eventualities.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Quite down. And lonely.
I'm really starting to feel in my heart that it's becoming too late to do anything worthwhile for myself.
As I drive around I look at the nice houses, people in their nice cars...nice families.. etc.. and I feel as though I could have had all of those things. But due to some things beyond my control and also stupid decisions that I've made I feel I've just... made a mess of my life. And it's almost too late to recover it to anything worth living for.
These are the times I fear myself. I dont want to live a life where I have nothing to look forward to. I dont see the point when life looks so bleak.
Living a life alone.. where your heart aches constantly, where you have no means to improve your life.. I dont want that.

The next 2-3 years is huge for me. This time period is make or break time for me.

 

[LoyalXenite]

Quite down. And lonely.
I'm really starting to feel in my heart that it's becoming too late to do anything worthwhile for myself.
As I drive around I look at the nice houses, people in their nice cars...nice families.. etc.. and I feel as though I could have had all of those things. But due to some things beyond my control and also stupid decisions that I've made I feel I've just... made a mess of my life. And it's almost too late to recover it to anything worth living for.
These are the times I fear myself. I dont want to live a life where I have nothing to look forward to. I dont see the point when life looks so bleak.
Living a life alone.. where your heart aches constantly, where you have no means to improve your life.. I dont want that.

The next 2-3 years is huge for me. This time period is make or break time for me.

I've been struggling the past few weeks with this sort of feeling, well more than usual. I suspect its because uni is starting up again (so Im stressing out already and wondering about the futility of my future). its really unfair how much mental illnesses rob us of the lives we should be living.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

The late 20's are rough, I remember feeling a lot of pressure when 30 was looming on the horizon. I felt it to a lesser degree when 40 was looming, because I knew that a lot of doors had already closed, in a sad way, it was comforting to not have so many options anymore.

"Make a choice or life will make it for you." No truer words were ever spoken.

 

[PugofCrydee]

The late 20's are rough, I remember feeling a lot of pressure when 30 was looming on the horizon. I felt it to a lesser degree when 40 was looming, because I knew that a lot of doors had already closed, in a sad way, it was comforting to not have so many options anymore.

For me my 20's were easy. Probably the best years of my life to this point.