How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
dean01
Well-known member
not sure its all to much to feel at once. i feel wired, my visions weird almost like ive taken lsd, everythings so bright! full blown technicolour but its like a tunnel, i can see the screen but the whole rooms a blur round me.
im tingling getting rushes of adrenaline going through my entire body, they keep making me twitch and shudder, something keeps flashing in the corner of my eye its making me jump like someones thrown something in my face.
my mouths dry and my left arm keeps going numb........ i just thought about food ??? i cant remember eating.
my minds racing, it wont shut up!
im tingling getting rushes of adrenaline going through my entire body, they keep making me twitch and shudder, something keeps flashing in the corner of my eye its making me jump like someones thrown something in my face.
my mouths dry and my left arm keeps going numb........ i just thought about food ??? i cant remember eating.
my minds racing, it wont shut up!
Deus_Ex_Lemur
Well-known member
Getting sad and nostalgic really sinking in school will be over; chapter in my life I never truly enjoyed until now and made the most of it. Could easily slip into depression, guilt, regret... then fear of future - negative about such things - and probably will for a short time but I've been there done that for the last 3 years... the hell the ****ing hell I'm going to waddle in such self pity again and now... I know it'll be tough without school it was a nice cushion to always have that... but a new chapter is to be written and time to move forward... it'll be tough at first but I've already set forth, not perfectly, I've missed a few shots today and barely took them, more like after the buzzer I decided to try. But I know what must be done. Just a matter of doing it.
I had much needed conversations with my sister and mother. Understandably, my mother wants to protect me, but she's making it so that people (my sister and dad) prance around me like I'm fragile. I don't like it. I told her as much and she said she would try to stop. I told my sister the same thing, but she's terrified that she'll say something that hurts or offends me and I'll kill myself. I told her I was more likely to kill her than myself. 
I don't know how to make everyone understand that I DON'T want to kill myself.
I don't know how to make everyone understand that I DON'T want to kill myself.
DespairSoul
Well-known member
I knew it that nothing can lasting long ..if was going about mine happiness was just like sweet sugar which i just tasted for short time...and now is again very bad and i don't know what to do with mine live..i feel so lost here on this world...i don't know how to find it this what i lost or how to don't feel lost...
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Hello Miss DespairSoul,
lots of ups and downs gotta hang on to the ups, ok? I know how you feel. But try to hang on to the good stuff and be glad you got to experience it and know there will be more of it for you soon.
xo
lots of ups and downs gotta hang on to the ups, ok? I know how you feel. But try to hang on to the good stuff and be glad you got to experience it and know there will be more of it for you soon.
xo
lunarla
Well-known member
So good, really.
Woke up and went to school on 4 hours of sleep. Stressed monumentally, had a panic attack because my concentration is kaput lately, and I was trying to study. But somehow, I'm feeling the best I have in some weeks now. I think the bath did it. Now just winding down to finally get some sleeeeeeeep. Gonna try and keep this for a while if I can.
Woke up and went to school on 4 hours of sleep. Stressed monumentally, had a panic attack because my concentration is kaput lately, and I was trying to study. But somehow, I'm feeling the best I have in some weeks now. I think the bath did it. Now just winding down to finally get some sleeeeeeeep. Gonna try and keep this for a while if I can.
evernight
Active member
I've been applying to places and I am dreading getting "The Call", the interview call, which will most likely lead to pure embarrassment, and then, the slim chance that I may even get hired, leading to MORE embarrassment. Gah, but I know it's better than not trying and absolutely hating myself...
DespairSoul
Well-known member
Keep going Despairy, you are a LovelySoul and well worth the effort
Phocie thank u for being a friend!!!
Kiwong
Well-known member
Having the sort of magic day that makes up for all the anguish
ripper! Got to love magic days.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I found out they’re remaking Fright Night, so I’m pretty pissed about that.
planemo
Well-known member
hey ds, don't give up. things take a long time to change for the better. the progress may be slow, but it's progress all the same, and that's good.
Mickery
Well-known member
See, this is why we need a reputation system. Not for the reputation itself, but so you can say "Hey, what a great post!" without clogging up threads saying "Hey, what a great post!" like I'm doing now. Because hey, it was a great post. And there's loads of great posts. It's not like you can't disable negative reputation and leave the positive system standing.
B
Beatrice
Guest
Dunno if you read these posts, or just post, but...
Haven't seen that vid (wherever it is), but there is a VERY FINE LINE between "normal" and "not normal" (or "abnormal", even "freakish"). "Big" really just means bigGER, small is just smalLER. Its all relative, not absolute.
No, not at all, its perfectly reasonable to feel the way you do, as you have BDD.
Too small for what? Looking at? To be honest, i don't think anybody on here "cares" about what your hands look like. My hands aren't perfect, bit big, bony. I know i'm male, but I view my hands as tools first and foremost, and anything that i feel after that is just superficiality.
I've said it before, and i'll say it again, your unhapiness is NOT solely due just to your "hands issue", it is due to your mind being singularly obsessed with it (which is what BDD is all about), to the point where you're shutting almost everything else "normal" out.
At least some of them may never forgive you...
"Freak" is a very strong word, and i never use it, as its simply not accurate, and has too much emotional connotations/baggage connect to it. At worst you're just a person, with a few issues, and with a few bodily aspects that are a "bit different" than the norm. If you're going to label yourself as a "freak", then what on earth would you then label The Elephant Man with?. A "monster"?
Megan delights in having a different-looking thumb - she flaunts it!. And if she & her thumb were ever to "approach" me, i would not hold it against her, and would try my absolute, very best to be "accommodative" towards her (but for sure my SA/etc would arrange things so that I would the the one being rejected, for my lack in social abilities!)
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Basically, every person has been dealt a "hand" in life (no pun intended). Whether you've been dealt a Royal Flush, 4 Aces, a pair of Jacks, or just minors, or whatever, is just the "luck of the draw". It's probably not fair, but "luck" never is fair - it's independent of "fairness", it's indifferent one way or the other.
It seems that one of your major life lessons is that you need to learn to "accept" yourself irrespective of whatever flaws/deficiencies you have. In life, flaws/imperfections exist, differences exist - in absolutely everything, nothing is immune. Anybdy who expects or demands to be totally free of all flaws is misguided, and will be frustrated as they never will be free of such. If you did not have your hands issue, then you most likely would have simply created another thing about yourself to be miserable about, as you'd still have the same brain/mind.
Your misery is due to bad feelings, which is due to your negative thoughts - FULL-STOP. You think the negative thoughts, you feel the bad feelings, you believe they're caused by your hands, this adds to the bad feelings & negatve thoughts ..... and so on. A vicious cycle.
What i think you need to do at this point, is to at least a few times every day, do something that will remove your thoughts/mind off your problems. There are many, many activities that will provide this for you - all you need to do is to do them. Perhaps you might benefit from some form of meditation?. This will give you a "breather" every day, time to "recoupperate" somewhat from the stress & suffering, as nobody can "function" if their stress is ever-present.
:/ Thanks for the advice..... maybe it was just my interpretation of it but seemed a bit harsh. I've tried thinking these things and they haven't helped yet, but..... I don't know, I DID decide to just try to focus on other things.
I feel like my brain has gone irreversibly depressive, and suicidal. Like I just see the world differently now and there's no way to go back to my positive mindset of just a few years ago, or even the positive, hopeful thoughts of even a few months ago. Of course, key words there are "I FEEL", so it's not necessarily permanent, but..... yeah. I feel like walking death.
Still, could be worse. I guess true walking death would be people starving in various parts of the world......
if a guy likes you then he accepts you for who you are, flaws and all. i for one would still approach a girl regardless of if she had really small hands or huge amazon ones, it really doesn't matter to me. i'm more interested in the over-all package, not just 1 single thing.
i'm not trying to make it sound like it shouldn't be a big deal to you (apparently it's a source of alot pain for you)... just trying to give you some insight from a guy's perspective.
B
Beatrice
Guest
Far from happy but since the weather is so beautiful I'm going to muster enough motivation to get my butt outside and jog after I'm done with my studies.
No, it's no ultimate solution, but as I've said before.... better to be doing SOMETHING than lying around miserable. Especially something productive and healthy.
Whether I want to or not, I exist and I may as well do something about it.
Edit: never mind. Somehow, suddenly lost all motivation. Oh the joys of depression.
No, it's no ultimate solution, but as I've said before.... better to be doing SOMETHING than lying around miserable. Especially something productive and healthy.
Whether I want to or not, I exist and I may as well do something about it.
Edit: never mind. Somehow, suddenly lost all motivation. Oh the joys of depression.
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