Had a pretty good few days, there. Was feeling good about myself, happy; even if I wasn't feeling so great, physically. But now I'm back to feeling anxious and on edge. Ah know the positivity wouldnae last...
I'm absolutely dreading Christmas Day. Ah know, it supposed to be happy time n' that. But ah always get the feeling that there's going to be an argument about something, as — more often than not — my siblings almost always start about something or other.
It's a tradition, of sorts. They arrive, an argument kicks off before, during or after the dinner. Then my sisters leave, pissed off. And I'm left consoling our mother who's sat on living room couch, crying. Sometimes, it happens on New Year's Day as well...
If not for something trivial, then an argument will usual kickoff cuz am no being talkative enough.
Which is great way to make socially anxious introvert feel more at ease around people, innit?
Then there's the fact I'm only spending time with them to appease a sibling who, over the years, has made it clear that she feckin' despises me. Or, at least, that's impression ah git from her snide remarks, insults and constantly talking down to me.