How are you feeling?

neurotic-to-the-bone

Active member
Really.. really pissed off 🤬

I ordered 2 things off of Facebook 'online shops' as Xmas presents for people I really care about, and I've just found out that they are both fraudulent web sites.. based in (surprise surprises) China. So bye bye $150..

I reported the sites to FB but so have a heap of other people. FB doesn't give a shit about fraudulent sites. They only care about money.
In the end, what can I do? Nothing it seems.. I wont be buying through FB ever again thats for sure. F*ck you Zuckerberg.

I sent a final email to the 'support team' saying:
'oh I see, you're scammers. Well done, you got me.. enjoy my $150.. I hope you c*nts get the f*ck bombed out of you soon and you all f*cking die a painful death.'


I know it doesn't make a difference, but still.. it made me feel a little better... :p.

I had the same thing happen to me. Clearly Facebook don't do any proper vetting of who they let advertise on their site. Lesson learned at least. Thankfully I was able to get my money back almost immediately when I filed a fraud claim with my bank. Hope that is the case for you too.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I honestly don't know why ah bother anymore. Naebuddy in ma family seems to listen to me or do little, if anything, for me. Ah mean, whenever I do ask them to do something or get something for me, they just make me feel like ah shouldn't have bothered asking. 😔

Well, apart from my mother (most of the time). I can, at least, rely on her more than I can my siblings. But then I'm only one of her kids that doesn't complain or make a fuss whenever my mum asks me to something for her.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Can't sleep...

I'm feeling conflicted about whether I should confront one of my siblings over the fact they, not only, let me down (once again!), yesterday. But my sister fuckin' gas lit me and lied to my face. :mad:

My mother says not to bother; keep the peace n' that. Whereas I feel I've been let doon enough in the past that this one shouldn't just shrugged off.

Though, I know what'll happen if I do saying anything about it: I'll be made oot to be the bad yin; the one in the wrong. Because, even when I'm right, either of my siblings has to make me feeling shitty for standing up for myself. Makes me wonder if that's a common trait with older siblings? :unsure:
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Feeling like absolute shit with the way this week has been going. Yesterday was such a horrible day at work. I'm trying to see the silver lining to it, but I just can't. Sure I feel a part of me needed the wake-up call, and admittedly I should've been more communicative on what was going wrong. Another instance of me trying to get things done and not asking for help. But at the same time I feel like the whole situation was also inevitable due to the fact that I STILL AM NOT PROPERLY FUCKING TRAINED AND I KEEP HAVING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING MYSELF. I am so beyond tired of the abysmal management that is in that place. And I keep getting told, "Oh before so-and-so took over, this place was so bad we were losing more customers than we were bringing in." Oh really? Well, we may not be losing any customers, but it certainly doesn't look like we're gaining any new ones either. Not to mention last week we spent the whole week having to add to our production because our very own director seriously screwed up an order, to the point credits had to be issued and a whole meeting over speakerphone had to take place, but where was she at this meeting or to fix it? No where. We all had to waste our time fixing that mistake. What does that say about you now, hm? Doesn't really make you look any better, imo. You keep asking for freaking new ideas to improve the "snowball" you say you feel you're stuck in, yet every. single. time. I bring up a new idea -- which I have plenty of and have been sharing! -- I get shot down. Every time. What ideas never got totally shot down never got put into place so it's all just meaningless and pointless garble. I'm done sharing ideas since no one wants to actually listen and I'm unable to put them into place by myself due to my position and status. And no, there is no moving from my position. No advancement or added side job. Nothing but stuck. I absolutely hate that in a field of work honestly. I need to see an ultimate end goal, otherwise it's pointless labor to me.

That being said, I guess I'm just going to keep learning until I'm ready to leave. I originally wanted this job because 1) I needed a job (duh) and I am a person who values their worth based on work and job status, as much as I hate saying that it's 100% true, 2) I wanted this field of work to be a stepping stone into a new career I've kinda longed for a while now I think, and 3) I wanted this field of work to also be a way to learn as much as I could before wanting to take all those ideas -- bad and good -- and branch off into doing my own business. That's my ultimate end goal, to work from home. Guess we'll see when that happens.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Feeling like absolute shit with the way this week has been going. Yesterday was such a horrible day at work. I'm trying to see the silver lining to it, but I just can't. Sure I feel a part of me needed the wake-up call, and admittedly I should've been more communicative on what was going wrong. Another instance of me trying to get things done and not asking for help. But at the same time I feel like the whole situation was also inevitable due to the fact that I STILL AM NOT PROPERLY FUCKING TRAINED AND I KEEP HAVING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING MYSELF. I am so beyond tired of the abysmal management that is in that place. And I keep getting told, "Oh before so-and-so took over, this place was so bad we were losing more customers than we were bringing in." Oh really? Well, we may not be losing any customers, but it certainly doesn't look like we're gaining any new ones either. Not to mention last week we spent the whole week having to add to our production because our very own director seriously screwed up an order, to the point credits had to be issued and a whole meeting over speakerphone had to take place, but where was she at this meeting or to fix it? No where. We all had to waste our time fixing that mistake. What does that say about you now, hm? Doesn't really make you look any better, imo. You keep asking for freaking new ideas to improve the "snowball" you say you feel you're stuck in, yet every. single. time. I bring up a new idea -- which I have plenty of and have been sharing! -- I get shot down. Every time. What ideas never got totally shot down never got put into place so it's all just meaningless and pointless garble. I'm done sharing ideas since no one wants to actually listen and I'm unable to put them into place by myself due to my position and status. And no, there is no moving from my position. No advancement or added side job. Nothing but stuck. I absolutely hate that in a field of work honestly. I need to see an ultimate end goal, otherwise it's pointless labor to me.

That being said, I guess I'm just going to keep learning until I'm ready to leave. I originally wanted this job because 1) I needed a job (duh) and I am a person who values their worth based on work and job status, as much as I hate saying that it's 100% true, 2) I wanted this field of work to be a stepping stone into a new career I've kinda longed for a while now I think, and 3) I wanted this field of work to also be a way to learn as much as I could before wanting to take all those ideas -- bad and good -- and branch off into doing my own business. That's my ultimate end goal, to work from home. Guess we'll see when that happens.
To make a sword, you have to put it through fire and you have to beat the fucking shit out of it. Repeatedly. You have to beat. the living. shit out of it. And so my mindset, started to become that... and I realized that nothing hard comes from soft.

From my point of view, this suckfest may strengthen your character and allow you to discover new perspectives that will help you in the long run, if you choose to see it that way.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
To make a sword, you have to put it through fire and you have to beat the fucking shit out of it. Repeatedly. You have to beat. the living. shit out of it. And so my mindset, started to become that... and I realized that nothing hard comes from soft.

From my point of view, this suckfest may strengthen your character and allow you to discover new perspectives that will help you in the long run, if you choose to see it that way.
I was trying to think similarly this morning, that as much as it sucks I've still got to learn something from it right? It's gotta do me some good in some way. I really appreciate the analogy honestly. I really should hold onto that.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I was trying to think similarly this morning, that as much as it sucks I've still got to learn something from it right? It's gotta do me some good in some way. I really appreciate the analogy honestly. I really should hold onto that.
Definitely. Seems like adversity necessitates growth with the right mindset.

There are three scenarios when it comes to adversity from my point of view. You either grudgingly (or not) accept the situation you're in and make the best of it, analyzing how to best handle it as you go along; you quit at the moment any hardship comes your way in exchange for temporary relief, and don't grow; you constantly whine but don't look for solutions that might alleviate the situation, in which case, no growth occurs either.

I think you're on the right track.

Good luck on your next shift! 😄
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I hate what my anxiety makes me become as a person, father, brother, son and uncle. Once I hit a dark spiral, I just want to be alone. That then makes me very uncaring and unworthy of any love I think, which would be rightly so.

I've tried - and am trying - to undertake a religious effort to help me but even then, I think the person I am at 34 is not going to change. The circuits in my brain, mind are so entrenched that it's difficult to see how I can cut those wires and put in new ones.

My family will be going away for a week whilst I remain at home and that sounds awful to think that I'm semi-looking forward to it. Just to work and be on my own. :(
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I hate what my anxiety makes me become as a person, father, brother, son and uncle. Once I hit a dark spiral, I just want to be alone. That then makes me very uncaring and unworthy of any love I think, which would be rightly so.

I've tried - and am trying - to undertake a religious effort to help me but even then, I think the person I am at 34 is not going to change. The circuits in my brain, mind are so entrenched that it's difficult to see how I can cut those wires and put in new ones.

My family will be going away for a week whilst I remain at home and that sounds awful to think that I'm semi-looking forward to it. Just to work and be on my own. :(
unworthy of any love
Nah, just because you suffer from an anxiety condition doesn't mean you're unloveable.

Research has shown that the brain continues to be plastic well into adulthood. Being mindful of your habits and changing them can develop new neural pathways. People learn violin and get PhDs at your age.


These data provide additional confirmation for task-training induced lifelong plasticity. New motor and other skills can be acquired at any age even though the progress may be somewhat attenuated in older as compared to young populations.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Exhausted, and feeling a little sad today too. It's been a really busy week with work and I feel like I'm just go, go, go all the time. I'm relieved to be out early tomorrow since I have an appointment. But I feel like I haven't had time to enjoy one of my most favorite times of year. Haven't done any of my usual baking and cooking, didn't get to send out the Christmas cards like I wanted to, haven't even made any of the other gifts I still need to do either. :(
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I don't know how I'm going to cope... another of my relatives — an auntie — is ill. We don't know what it is, as that side o' the family doesn't really care to stay in touch. We just know she's not doing well. 🥺 😔

And by coping I mean supporting my mum, mentally and emotionally through this again. It's just difficult since she still does'nae really open up to me about how she's feeling, unless she annoyed about summit. I don't know, it just saddens me that I'm the one o' her kids that actually she feels that she can talk to.

 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Have been feeling myself falling into a depressive flunk since yesterday. Feeling the urge to treat myself to something nostalgic but also stopping myself because of guilt as 1) I already have spent enough money this month between bills, insurance, mortgage, holiday and birthday gifts, etc. and 2) I could be putting that money towards more necessities yet. Don't know what I want or how to even make myself feel better. 🤷‍♀️ Overworked, exhausted, and lonely on a daily basis this week. 😣
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Like a failure; like I can't connect with my family, emotionally. 😔 There's always this feckin' barrier between us.

I don't know how to get my mum to open up about how she's feeling, without it seeming like I'm forcing the question. Yet, I'm the one constantly told to look after her n' make sure she's awrite.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I don't know, really. Like, I'm still trying to process the fact that my mother, outta nowhere, told me that she struggles with anxiety, like I do. After years of saying I was just faking it.

And, on top of that, she also told me that one of my cousins, who lives down south in London, recently had to sign off work after having a nervous breakdown that was brought on by anxiety.
 
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