Oh boy anxiety!
Really.. really pissed off
I ordered 2 things off of Facebook 'online shops' as Xmas presents for people I really care about, and I've just found out that they are both fraudulent web sites.. based in (surprise surprises) China. So bye bye $150..
I reported the sites to FB but so have a heap of other people. FB doesn't give a shit about fraudulent sites. They only care about money.
In the end, what can I do? Nothing it seems.. I wont be buying through FB ever again thats for sure. F*ck you Zuckerberg.
I sent a final email to the 'support team' saying:
'oh I see, you're scammers. Well done, you got me.. enjoy my $150.. I hope you c*nts get the f*ck bombed out of you soon and you all f*cking die a painful death.'
I know it doesn't make a difference, but still.. it made me feel a little better... .
To make a sword, you have to put it through fire and you have to beat the fucking shit out of it. Repeatedly. You have to beat. the living. shit out of it. And so my mindset, started to become that... and I realized that nothing hard comes from soft.Feeling like absolute shit with the way this week has been going. Yesterday was such a horrible day at work. I'm trying to see the silver lining to it, but I just can't. Sure I feel a part of me needed the wake-up call, and admittedly I should've been more communicative on what was going wrong. Another instance of me trying to get things done and not asking for help. But at the same time I feel like the whole situation was also inevitable due to the fact that I STILL AM NOT PROPERLY FUCKING TRAINED AND I KEEP HAVING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING MYSELF. I am so beyond tired of the abysmal management that is in that place. And I keep getting told, "Oh before so-and-so took over, this place was so bad we were losing more customers than we were bringing in." Oh really? Well, we may not be losing any customers, but it certainly doesn't look like we're gaining any new ones either. Not to mention last week we spent the whole week having to add to our production because our very own director seriously screwed up an order, to the point credits had to be issued and a whole meeting over speakerphone had to take place, but where was she at this meeting or to fix it? No where. We all had to waste our time fixing that mistake. What does that say about you now, hm? Doesn't really make you look any better, imo. You keep asking for freaking new ideas to improve the "snowball" you say you feel you're stuck in, yet every. single. time. I bring up a new idea -- which I have plenty of and have been sharing! -- I get shot down. Every time. What ideas never got totally shot down never got put into place so it's all just meaningless and pointless garble. I'm done sharing ideas since no one wants to actually listen and I'm unable to put them into place by myself due to my position and status. And no, there is no moving from my position. No advancement or added side job. Nothing but stuck. I absolutely hate that in a field of work honestly. I need to see an ultimate end goal, otherwise it's pointless labor to me.
That being said, I guess I'm just going to keep learning until I'm ready to leave. I originally wanted this job because 1) I needed a job (duh) and I am a person who values their worth based on work and job status, as much as I hate saying that it's 100% true, 2) I wanted this field of work to be a stepping stone into a new career I've kinda longed for a while now I think, and 3) I wanted this field of work to also be a way to learn as much as I could before wanting to take all those ideas -- bad and good -- and branch off into doing my own business. That's my ultimate end goal, to work from home. Guess we'll see when that happens.
I was trying to think similarly this morning, that as much as it sucks I've still got to learn something from it right? It's gotta do me some good in some way. I really appreciate the analogy honestly. I really should hold onto that.To make a sword, you have to put it through fire and you have to beat the fucking shit out of it. Repeatedly. You have to beat. the living. shit out of it. And so my mindset, started to become that... and I realized that nothing hard comes from soft.
From my point of view, this suckfest may strengthen your character and allow you to discover new perspectives that will help you in the long run, if you choose to see it that way.
Definitely. Seems like adversity necessitates growth with the right mindset.I was trying to think similarly this morning, that as much as it sucks I've still got to learn something from it right? It's gotta do me some good in some way. I really appreciate the analogy honestly. I really should hold onto that.
I hate what my anxiety makes me become as a person, father, brother, son and uncle. Once I hit a dark spiral, I just want to be alone. That then makes me very uncaring and unworthy of any love I think, which would be rightly so.
I've tried - and am trying - to undertake a religious effort to help me but even then, I think the person I am at 34 is not going to change. The circuits in my brain, mind are so entrenched that it's difficult to see how I can cut those wires and put in new ones.
My family will be going away for a week whilst I remain at home and that sounds awful to think that I'm semi-looking forward to it. Just to work and be on my own.
Nah, just because you suffer from an anxiety condition doesn't mean you're unloveable.unworthy of any love
These data provide additional confirmation for task-training induced lifelong plasticity. New motor and other skills can be acquired at any age even though the progress may be somewhat attenuated in older as compared to young populations.