How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

Just realised it'll be the 2 year anniversary of the day that changed my life forever in a few days time. And yet, little has actually changed in my life. :sad: Family are still as dysfunctional as ever. I'm still as anxious, and scared of people. But if ye ever met my family, you'd know why... :kickingmyself:

Still, at least I'm trying to be more independent, despite my issues.

Kinda sucks that it's taken everything going down the sh!tter over the summer, there, for my mother and sister to finally realise I wasn't being funny, all those years ago, when I'd rant about how I couldn't believe we were all related. mg:

 

[theslowesthand]

Death is GOOD (especially for humans). It's the end of the school of torture. Returning to your true self/home. It's growing on me day by day now. I can only imagine the pure sense of relief i'll have when i "transition"; i think it'll be GLORIOUS.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

It is so cold outside, but the snow is lovely to look at... especially seeing as how I'm stocked-up on groceries and don't have to go out into it.

 

[Graeme1988]

Emotional dead. Physically? Not far off that, if I'm honest. Hate what my life's become. :kickingmyself: :sad: :crying:

 

[Sarah_M]

I just found out that people who don't know me at work think I'm married; weird.

 

[Kiwong]

Wonder woman also made me want to be the bad guy. The idea of being chased by an Amazonian woman with a lasso appealed to me from a very early age.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

Depression starting to kick my @ss again. Exercise is supposed to get me out of this pathetic self-pitying state of mind but even running isn't helping. I want to get up, eat, and go back to bed. It might only be new years jitters but I hope I feel better soon cause sh*t has to get done.

 

[Graeme1988]

Depression starting to kick my @ss again. Exercise is supposed to get me out of this pathetic self-pitying state of mind but even running isn't helping. I want to get up, eat, and go back to bed. It might only be new years jitters but I hope I feel better soon cause sh*t has to get done.

Pretty much how I've been feeling for nearly 6 months now.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

Pretty much how I've been feeling for nearly 6 months now.

I'm sorry to hear that Why can't life pick on someone that can adequately fight back?

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm sorry to hear that Why can't life pick on someone that can adequately fight back?

True, but that's how depression is. :sad:

Though, my situation is made worse by the fact that I've tried to be positive, but my family are constantly being negative and narcissistic. Constantly making it more about them than how I'm feeling having to put up with their overly dramatic claims of being incapable of cope, and raging tantrums that make me really despair of my family. mg:

:idontknow: Ah've just gave up on them, stop being the rational voice. And I'll be glad when I get a place of my own.

 

[defiance]

I can't take it anymore. Please make it stop.:crying::crying:

 

[theslowesthand]

I can't take it anymore. Please make it stop.:crying::crying:

I wish i could help you, but i can barely help myself. Maybe try to "sit" with the pain, to see what it really is. Maybe it's not quite as bad as you think? We tend to label such stuff as "bad", which only makes it worse, cause we are then fighting it, & fighting the frustration, which increases the suffering. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Graeme1988]

 

[Graeme1988]

I feel I've wasted what could've been 2 of the best years of my life. :sad: :crying:

 

[theslowesthand]

I've just made ONE HELL OF A BIG ALMIGHTY MISTAKE. Had a vicious/nasty argument with old man (over sth he did). I just saw red. Now he wants me out of the house i'm renting off him. Considering i can't handle even tiny changes, this i feel is going to be the end of me. It's WAY too much change to handle. WAY too much stress. I've just put my foot in it, and i can't see a way out. :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

I've just made ONE HELL OF A BIG ALMIGHTY MISTAKE. Had a vicious/nasty argument with old man (over sth he did). I just saw red. Now he wants me out of the house i'm renting off him. Considering i can't handle even tiny changes, this i feel is going to be the end of me. It's WAY too much change to handle. WAY too much stress. I've just put my foot in it, and i can't see a way out. :sad:

Ooh! That sounds pretty bad, if you mind me saying. Is there nae way of making the old yin change his mind? :question: :idontknow:

 

[theslowesthand]

Ooh! That sounds pretty bad, if you mind me saying. Is there nae way of making the old yin change his mind? :question: :idontknow:

Mum's not talking to me either. That might be the only way out. I could be wrong, but i doubt they'll forgive me, esp dad.

Spent about an hour trying to cut into a vein, but had nothng sharp enough to get it bleeding. That's how f*cked i am right now. And thinking of ways to end it. Overdosing did nothing.

I just want it all to end. I REALLY want to be dead right now.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

Mum's not talking to me either. That might be the only way out. I could be wrong, but i doubt they'll forgive me, esp dad.

Spent about an hour trying to cut into a vein, but had nothng sharp enough to get it bleeding. That's how f*cked i am right now. And thinking of ways to end it. Overdosing did nothing.

Not ALL change has to be bad. Besides, many people say "New year, new me" and never follow through with it, you have an opportunity. I think you should believe in yourself. Branch out.

 

[lillianstrange]

I'm feeling good. Listening to Andrew Bayer's music and writing my novel has me in a good place. I did, however, reply to the post about venting and saying what you wish you could say to someone. It had my anxiety go up a bit, but Andrew's song brought it back down.

 

[theslowesthand]

I'm scared for my future. Terrified. I wish i could stop the future happening. :crying:

All i can see is LOSSES, no gains.

Life has been a daily battle as it is, without something like this.