How are you feeling?

[Marc7]

If I didnae huv so many things planned for next year, I was contemplating doing myself in shortly after my 29th birthday. :sad: Since I don't really see much point in my existence.

My family are still fighting me at every turn. Browbeating me to go along with their way of things, and heap praise on my niece for no reason whatsoever. Sorry if that makes me a miserable c**t, but I don't see the point of tell her she's good when my family spent much of my upbringing despising me for my existence more than tell I'm good person. :sad:

What do you mean by you're contemplating doing yourself in after your 29th birthday? Please don't do it if your thinking what I'm thinking.

 

[Marc7]

I'm feeling suspicious, very nervous, and neglected. Also very scared.

 

[Graeme1988]

What do you mean by you're contemplating doing yourself in after your 29th birthday? Please don't do it if your thinking what I'm thinking.

Killing myself. :sad: Well, there's not much keeping me going, really. Music is my only escape from my controlling family and shitty surroundings, since I also loathe the small town where I live. Ah don't see much point sticking around when I'm just here to keep family happy. And made to feel guilty and called selfish whenever I put my needs first. ::

I'm feeling suspicious, very nervous, and neglected. Also very scared.

What's wrong?

 

[Graeme1988]

Kinda annoyed that, because I'm not one for smiling all the time, my family assumes I'm upset about something and insists I "talk about it". h:

Past experience has taught me they're not the most understanding people, my family. So I prefer to spare them the misery of my depression and struggle with suicidal thoughts. Since it's hardly summit ye want to discuss openly much. :sad:

By that, I mean it's not a conversation started, is it? Not that you should never talk about it.

 

[Graeme1988]

They never let me speak! Mid-f**kin'-sentence and my mum jumps and finishes what I've got to say before I've even articulated my actual thought.

Thanks f**kin' bunch - and they wonder why I don't talk much? F**k sake! :kickingmyself: Better off being mute, ah think. :question:

 

[Megaten]

They never let me speak! Mid-f**kin'-sentence and my mum jumps and finishes what I've got to say before I've even articulated my actual thought.

Thanks f**kin' bunch - and they wonder why I don't talk much? F**k sake! :kickingmyself: Better off being mute, ah think. :question:

Thats one of the fastest ways people have ticked me off. I dont like having conversations with overly aggressive people.

As for me Im feeling insecure.

 

[Megaten]

Well now Im feeling better. Thats the crazy thing about feelings.

 

[Graeme1988]

Don't know if persuing making music again will be worth it? Not that I don't want to, but I fear that it might add to my isolation more than my disability already does. :idontknow:

Maybe I'm looking that this all wrong? :question:

Other than that, I'm kinda wishing I wasn't here anymore since it's clear I'm not wanting by my family, given what an absolute failure and burden upon them I've become to them over the years.

 

[Graeme1988]

Lying to me again! :kickingmyself: See the wimmin in my family, hi?! Urrghh!! Ah don't bloody well trust 'em! Or most people for that matter.

Ma mum telling me she told me about a parcel arriving in the post addressed to me today when she telt me nothin' of the sort. Oh, ah forgot. F**k right off! :veryangry:

Ah want out of this, like. Hud enough, cannae take much more of it.
Och well, ah'll be dead of a heart attack or a brain hemorage in a few years, anyway. Yay! What with all the stress I'm put under.

 

[Gunther]

Feeling no anxiety today, really confident.

 

[Addiebox]

Feeling pretty happy for no reason.

 

[Lisandi]

Bored and tired. Was thinking about going out for a walk.

 

[Megaten]

Actually got points taken off my evaluation today because I lacked the appropriate levels of confidence. Gotta love school.

 

[Davidooo]

Feeling really bad today. Can't explain why though

 

[MollyBeGood]

I failed you

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Like dirt. :sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

My life… The war that never ends. :kickingmyself: :sad:

 

[grapevine]

I just cant be responsible all the time for someone else who chooses to just be irrisponsible and do what he likes whilst im the people pleaser bending over backwards - going broke, health going down and putting myself last because i have other people to care for too and other things like my animals and work - its just too much and not fair - hard to be that lifter in a relationship and also have a mental illness .

 

[S_Spartan]

Hopeless as usual...

 

[Marc7]

Killing myself. :sad: Well, there's not much keeping me going, really. Music is my only escape from my controlling family and shitty surroundings, since I also loathe the small town where I live. Ah don't see much point sticking around when I'm just here to keep family happy. And made to feel guilty and called selfish whenever I put my needs first. ::

Please don't do it!! You are as valuable as anyone else. Seek help first before doing that.

What's wrong?

At the time someone kept on calling me, a person who I am texting still doesn't text me for like half a day, and I had a job interview.