How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

I feel unmotivated to do anything for a few years now.

I feel the same way like I'm a failure to my family because of not making anything of myself like the rest of my family including extended.

So, how do you deal with this, then - being unmotivated and not making something of yerself like the rest of your family?

Maybe you should give a try again. Maybe play a few notes.

I'm looking into that. But don't know whether to have a goal in mind, instead of just playing something from memory? Like learn something new - a full song or master a particular guitar playing techique? :question: :idontknow: Since it'd be to easy just to play something that I remember.

But please don't kill yourself!! I think you're a good person to have conversations with.

Thanks. :thumbup: Though, I'd have to slightly disagree with ya about the conversations.

Well the chat message was in October and the private message was in July. But the visitor message which I also sent was in September in case your wondering.

Oh aye, I remember now. I recall the PM and chat. Though I'll have to check my profile for the vistor message, since I don't always check it.

 

[Graeme1988]

Starting to think I'm a feckin' jinx. Nuthin' goes right for me. :sad: Just realised I've wasted £200 on a MacBook, thanks to the music software I was looking to install on it being incompatible with the Mac's operating system. :kickingmyself: B*llocks!!

 

[Marc7]

So, how do you deal with this, then - being unmotivated and not making something of yerself like the rest of your family?

Um well I tried to seek help to get motivated but it hasn't been working out unfortunately. But basically I seek advice from professionals and I found it very helpful recently.

I'm looking into that. But don't know whether to have a goal in mind, instead of just playing something from memory? Like learn something new - a full song or master a particular guitar playing techique? :question: :idontknow: Since it'd be to easy just to play something that I remember.

You should just play something you remember to see if it sparks your interest again.

Thanks. :thumbup: Though, I'd have to slightly disagree with ya about the conversations.

Your welcome. I think you know how to keep the conversation going at least, I don't know how keep conversations going.

Oh aye, I remember now. I recall the PM and chat. Though I'll have to check my profile for the vistor message, since I don't always check it.

Cool, you remembered. I would like if you were to respond but you don't have too. No offense.

 

[Graeme1988]

Um well I tried to seek help to get motivated but it hasn't been working out unfortunately. But basically I seek advice from professionals and I found it very helpful recently.

Supposed I could do the same, or look for resources online. Since it'd take a few months to get seeing an actual therapist - just how the health service is here. You need to be referred for help by your doctor, you can't just ask to see a therapist.

You should just play something you remember to see if it sparks your interest again.

Well, it was actually some new guitar effects and amplifer modeling software that sparked my interest in playing again. Since I'd be able to playing my guitar via my laptop. Saves a lotta time of having to set up and plug in my actual amp.

But playing something I know sounds like a plan. Just need to figure what that should be, since there were a few songs I used to know off by heart. I'll probably have to re-learn 'em, since it's been a good 10 years since I actually played. Though, when I gave it up my guitar playing was at a pretty decent skill level.

Your welcome. I think you know how to keep the conversation going at least, I don't know how keep conversations going.

Really? Well, it's a different story offline. In person I rarely say a word. Like trying to get blood from a stone, as my family would humourously say.

Cool, you remembered. I would like if you were to respond but you don't have too. No offense.

None taken. I'll try to respond in future. And if my internet connection is decent, since that can determine how quickly or if messages get sent via Chat on here.

 

[Marc7]

Supposed I could do the same, or look for resources online. Since it'd take a few months to get seeing an actual therapist - just how the health service is here. You need to be referred for help by your doctor, you can't just ask to see a therapist.

Or you could go to a day program as well like a program that helps with skill or goals. Idk if they have that in Scotland though.

Well, it was actually some new guitar effects and amplifer modeling software that sparked my interest in playing again. Since I'd be able to playing my guitar via my laptop. Saves a lotta time of having to set up and plug in my actual amp.

But playing something I know sounds like a plan. Just need to figure what that should be, since there were a few songs I used to know off by heart. I'll probably have to re-learn 'em, since it's been a good 10 years since I actually played. Though, when I gave it up my guitar playing was at a pretty decent skill level.

How do you play guitar on the laptop?

Cool, you should definitely try to learn it again. Maybe that would ease some of your pain if you have any I assuming.

Really? Well, it's a different story offline. In person I rarely say a word. Like trying to get blood from a stone, as my family would humourously say.

Me too in social situations I don't really talk unless someone is talking to me. Also I freeze up a lot offline when talking.

None taken. I'll try to respond in future. And if my internet connection is decent, since that can determine how quickly or if messages get sent via Chat on here.

Your going to respond to the current messages or future messages?

 

[Graeme1988]

Or you could go to a day program as well like a program that helps with skill or goals. Idk if they have that in Scotland though.

:idontknow: I'd probably have to look into that. They might, but I don't if there's anything like that in south west Scotland where I live? Especially in the town where I live, since there's no much to do for people in my age group.

How do you play guitar on the laptop?

You need a USB-powered audio interface, that has an instrument and microphone input on the front. Download the drivers for the interface, connect it to the laptop. Buy some guitar amplifer and effects modelling software, that simulates the typical guitar/amp/effects setup virtually on yer laptop. Then plug a guitar into the interface and yer go to go. :thumbup:

Cool, you should definitely try to learn it again. Maybe that would ease some of your pain if you have any I assuming.

Aye, it'd be a good outlet for ma pain and frustrations. It's not exactly easy huvin to picking the slack for those around you. Being expect to instinctively know stuff you've never been taught. Having to be the "smart, sensible" one of the family. Though, growing up without ma dad wus probably the biggest struggle for me, more so than my physicial disability. :sad:

Me too in social situations I don't really talk unless someone is talking to me. Also I freeze up a lot offline when talking.

Same here. Though, it doesn't exactly help that people always assume I'm upset about something all the time. Just got one of those faces that looks depressed when I'm not smiling, I guess.

Your going to respond to the current messages or future messages?

Next time you message me I'll respond, okay? I'll need clear out my inbox if yer going to send me a PM, though.

 

[Addiebox]

Feeling pretty lonely since I broke up. Wish there would be someone whit me

 

[defiance]

Or not even meditation, but anything that gets your mind off your problems for a while, ie sth relaxing.
Generally speaking, if nothing changes then nothing changes. Ie you need to at least "sow the seed" of sth new, for any positive stuff to happen. Else if you're just waiting for positive things to happen at random, you could be in for a long wait.

I really do need to find something that gets my mind off of my issues even if it is for just a bit. Something to encourage me to get out there and not be so afraid of the world and the people in it. So far nothing unfortunately but ill keep trying until something works I guess.

 

[defiance]

I wish I had more money than I knew what to do with because my financial problems are slowly killing me. I need some kind of a miracle.

 

[Klara]

Much better today.. Not like my past 2 weeks whichh have been horrible, i picked up a neuroscience book for the first time, so i have that going for me

 

[Graeme1988]

Ears are still ringing after that awesome concert in Carlisle last night.
Wish ah had an acoustic guitar, though - feeling quite inspired today.

 

[dannyboy65]

Feel worried because I found out that next semester if I don't get more loans I will be out of money and still owe $20. So I'm so worried that I will go in debt.

 

[Marc7]

:idontknow: I'd probably have to look into that. They might, but I don't if there's anything like that in south west Scotland where I live? Especially in the town where I live, since there's no much to do for people in my age group.

You know what programs I'm talking about right? Yea you should look into it.

You need a USB-powered audio interface, that has an instrument and microphone input on the front. Download the drivers for the interface, connect it to the laptop. Buy some guitar amplifer and effects modelling software, that simulates the typical guitar/amp/effects setup virtually on yer laptop. Then plug a guitar into the interface and yer go to go. :thumbup:

Oh okay.

Aye, it'd be a good outlet for ma pain and frustrations. It's not exactly easy huvin to picking the slack for those around you. Being expect to instinctively know stuff you've never been taught. Having to be the "smart, sensible" one of the family. Though, growing up without ma dad wus probably the biggest struggle for me, more so than my physicial disability. :sad:

What do you mean by you have to pick up the slack for others and know stuff you never been taught?

Same here. Though, it doesn't exactly help that people always assume I'm upset about something all the time. Just got one of those faces that looks depressed when I'm not smiling, I guess.

Well idk what face I have but it doesn't help that I have monotone voice though when I do speak.

Next time you message me I'll respond, okay? I'll need clear out my inbox if yer going to send me a PM, though.

Okay, so you will respond to my chat messages and visitor messages as well?

 

[Graeme1988]

You know what programs I'm talking about right? Yea you should look into it.

I think so, but if you want to clarify and explain, then please do. As I said I don't know if my area has the programs you mentioned.

What do you mean by you have to pick up the slack for others and know stuff you never been taught?

Oh, just trivial things. Like my mum will constantly complain about having clearing out stuff or tidy out magazines from my bedroom, and I agree to help with that. But I end up doing half it myself, since she constantly makes excuses to put off doing things like that.

Or if I ask her, or my oldest sisters, for help I always have to repeatedly ask them. Which usually leads to tell them not to bother and I end up having to make-up for them being too lazy to help me.

They only ever seem to want to help me when they can get something out of it, like take partial credit for something when I did all the work.

Teaching myself how to be as independent and self-sufficient as possible despite my disabilities would be what I meant by teach myself things I was never taught growing up, y'know? Since my parents never bother to impart that knowledge to me, as the focus was always on my disability holding me back - what I can't do, etc.

And my mum would prefer I were a control, co-dependent person. Overly reliant upon family. And obligated to care and make my family happy. Instead of happy, independent life I could and should be leading. :sad:

Well idk what face I have but it doesn't help that I have monotone voice though when I do speak.

I've got a similarly monotonous voice when I speak as well. Which is why I so rarely ever speak. Plus, thanks to my Scottish accent, my family tend to think everything I say is meant as a joke.

Okay, so you will respond to my chat messages and visitor messages as well?

Yeah, if it's not too late where I am as far as time difference goes, I reply to chat messages. And do the same with vistor messages, though those will depend upon when you post them to my profile.

 

[BlackPuma]

i feel like i don't want to even wake up tomorrow. my best friend just ditch me completely. she told me she's getting a new phone/changing her number on friday and she doesn't want me to have the new number because she said her life is picking up and she won't have time for our friendship any way.

Geez, that's rough, ATG. I'm really sorry about that. If she's your best friend, how could that happen? Friends don't just abandon each other like that.

Pardon my French, but that's a capital **** move. For what it's worth, you have my sympathies.

 

[BlueDays]

i feel like i don't want to even wake up tomorrow. my best friend just ditch me completely. she told me she's getting a new phone/changing her number on friday and she doesn't want me to have the new number because she said her life is picking up and she won't have time for our friendship any way.

i wish this didnt hurt so bad but it won't stop..i have this feeling in the pit of my stomach like I'm going to throw up.

and this is right before the holidays, I can't believe this is happening RIGHT before christmas .

i think I'm done in general....seriously I'm finished...i don't won't to wake up tomorrow...i have no reason to

Ouch! :sad: What a nasty thing to do to a friend! :thumbdown:
I know friends are hard to come by for people like us, but hang in there. You found her, so it is possible for you to eventually find another.
Is there an interest or new hobby you could take up to distract your mind from the emotional pain for a while?

 

[BlueDays]

Freaked out.
For the first time in this site, I just had an advertisement for something in the little freaking town I live in! wtf!

I have only ever had general advertisements for dating websites, life insurance, general anxiety products etc. show up when in this site, but never an advertisement for a specific city or town in my country.

The first specific advertisement that shows up in this site for me relating to a town/city in my country - in the 7 years I have been in this site - is for something in the little town where I live.
I have always kept my private details off any websites, so I find this very scary. :sad:

 

[Megaten]

Freaked out.
For the first time in this site, I just had an advertisement for something in the little freaking town I live in! wtf!

I have only ever had general advertisements for dating websites, life insurance, general anxiety products etc. show up when in this site, but never an advertisement for a specific city or town in my country.

The first specific advertisement that shows up in this site for me relating to a town/city in my country - in the 7 years I have been in this site - is for something in the little town where I live.
I have always kept my private details off any websites, so I find this very scary. :sad:

Yeah its really hard to fly completely off the grid once you start connecting online.

 

[Graeme1988]

Really worried about my future and how I'll cope when my mum passes away. :question: Ah know, it's not summit I should dwell upon. But I can't help thinking I'll probably have a breakdown, like I did a year after my dad died. :sad:

Just trying to rediscover an old hobby of mine, at the moment.

 

[theslowesthand]

Something to encourage me to get out there and not be so afraid of the world and the people in it. So far nothing unfortunately but ill keep trying until something works I guess

I could do with something for that also.