How are you feeling?

PoisonOak

New member
Confused.. so confused. I feel like something is looming and waiting to happen and I have no control about it. And so many bad dreams.
 

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
I'm having trouble even going out to the mailbox. I keep hearing people out there. Why can't they leave me in peace?

I'm getting worse, always worse.
 

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Not good. Not good at all.

My body is trying to kill me. There's no other reasonable explanation.

I wish it would hurry up.
 
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at it again

Not so great. These past 2 months have been the worst of my life. So many bad things have happened. I just can't believe all this happened at once. I'm playing a very dangerous game with my self here, with my life. Part of me doesn't even care any more and I find that scary. I seriously have no idea what the **** to do.
 

nodejesque

Well-known member
Hey, psyche..
I know what you mean. This year has probably been the hardest of my life. I don't know what you're going through, but I hope you're ok. And if you need a friend, let me know.
 

defiance

Well-known member
Inferior, useless, a burden. I have been breaking more and more mentally. I can't stand being a failure every single day. Try as I might but it's groundhog day for me and I can't escape. Will I ever be alright again?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Sad and depressed knowin' these feelin' o' tranquillity and happiness are gonnae end for me by the end o' the month. Then everythin' goes back to being shte.

Oldest sister comes back from her holiday, then the other yin comin' for a visit at the end o' July. With her wee bairn and her husband, who turn intae a right arse since they had the wee 'un.

If it wus'nae for the fact I'm off to Edinburgh next month, as well as the pending next hospital check up in 4 months, I'd quite happily off masel' to get peace from the inevitable arguements that are gonnae occur.

At least ah've got ma music to keep me somewhat sane. And drown out the noise o' inevitable shoutin', swearin', cryin' and doors being slammed. Ah wish ah could move outta the family hame, though. A bungalow in middle o' naewhere would be perfect.

Inferior, useless, a burden. I have been breaking more and more mentally. I can't stand being a failure every single day. Try as I might but it's groundhog day for me and I can't escape. Will I ever be alright again?

I've been feelin' the same way.... As well as wonderin' the same about myself.
 

grapevine

Well-known member
I feel disappointed and a bit angry. I just find it hard to mention anything about myself to my bf without him dropping off somewhere and doing something else. Where as I consiously listen to him for hours on end talk about himself.

I need to voice this but atm I jus cannot be mentally in the right place to.
 

Nanita

Well-known member
I'm so fuc*ing depressed, I really don't want to be me, I want to die, I really want to die. I'm contemplating suicide more than ever, but I don't think I have the guts to do it. I'm so sad and I have NOTHING to live for. Nothing good enough to fill out my emptiness, will ever happen.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Trying to cling to the positive mood I've been in for the last 3 days, but it's starting to go. ::(: Starting to wonder why ah huv this urge, naw, need to be creative? :thinking: Kinda wish ah didnae to be honest... :kickingmyself:

Other that that, ah wish ma life wus more interesting, more like everybuddy else.

I'm so fuc*ing depressed, I really don't want to be me, I want to die, I really want to die. I'm contemplating suicide more than ever, but I don't think I have the guts to do it. I'm so sad and I have NOTHING to live for. Nothing good enough to fill out my emptiness, will ever happen.

Ah know this won't make ye feel better, but, I've felt that way for years. And huv been feeling that way, lately. And despite actually using ma time productively these past few days, ah still feel ah huv'nae got anything to live for. :sad:
 
I'm so fuc*ing depressed, I really don't want to be me, I want to die, I really want to die. I'm contemplating suicide more than ever, but I don't think I have the guts to do it. I'm so sad and I have NOTHING to live for. Nothing good enough to fill out my emptiness, will ever happen
When i'm depressed (such as last week or so) that's how generally i'm feeling. My councellor said i need to find "purpose", and all i can come up with is 'prepare for death'. I mean i know i've completely botched-up my life, and so :. i have a real hatred for (my) life, it's just neverending misery & torture with no end in sight. So i just keep saying to myself 'this will all pass' (which is true, but it doesn't feel like it is). I truly believe that the day i die will be the ABSOLUTE BEST DAY of my life. I've had enuf of all this feckin bullshit. Now, where can i find a gun... :giggle:
 

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Anxious, stressed, angry, sad. I was being productive (well, sort of), feeling almost all right, but now my nerves are on edge and getting worse by the second. Hands are shaking; fear is squeezing my brain. I won't be getting any more done today. I want to crawl into a deep hole and never come out, but I want to put my landlords in one first. I can't live like this.
 

defiance

Well-known member
I'm so fuc*ing depressed, I really don't want to be me, I want to die, I really want to die. I'm contemplating suicide more than ever, but I don't think I have the guts to do it. I'm so sad and I have NOTHING to live for. Nothing good enough to fill out my emptiness, will ever happen.

I'm there with you. It is a day to day struggle just to make it one more day. I feel as though I have nothing to live for as well and yet here we are for the sake of others I guess. I wish it would just go away and let us have some peace. While some people in life are striving to be wealthy or things of that nature, we are striving to be and feel normal. Hope you end up feeling better.
 

defiance

Well-known member
...........when will death save me? When will that day come when the grim reaper decides it's time for me to go? I hate myself and what my life has become
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Lately when I go to sleep, I feel so exhausted, so bone tired. Then I wake in the morning and just feel this despair about who I am take hold.

I just had some cleaners in. They do exit cleaning as well. I probably freaked them out, I'm not sure if one shuddered because I weirded them out, or because it is was cold.


Opening up my world to anyone is the most fearful thing I can face. If I can dig myself out of this hole of a place I live, then it might just be one of the biggest achievements in my life.

I realise the most important thing I have done recently is reach out to family - my sister. She knows me, and will help me. And I need to seek support which is real. Even this is hard. My worse fear is that my anxiety will push my family away. And then I will be lost, because I can't fight this battle alone.

I'm not so sure about self-love. I'm freaking fantastic, I love myself = *******s. A more realistic realisation is to recognise that I am broken, strange and not such a great human being at all , but to keep fighting for myself regardless of my limitations, even when it seems every else has given up on me

I didn't want to go past 7000 posts, so I deleted a couple.
 
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defiance

Well-known member
Lately when I go to sleep, I feel so exhausted, so bone tired. Then I wake in the morning and just feel this despair about who I am take hold.

I just had some cleaners in. They do exit cleaning as well. I probably freaked them out, I'm not sure if one shuddered because I weirded them out, or because it is was cold.


Opening up my world to anyone is the most fearful thing I can face. If I can dig myself out of this hole of a place I live, then it might just be one of the biggest achievements in my life.

I realise the most important thing I have done recently is reach out to family - my sister. She knows me, and will help me. And I need to seek support which is real. Even this is hard. My worse fear is that my anxiety will push my family away. And then I will be lost, because I can't fight this battle alone.

I'm not so sure about self-love. I'm freaking fantastic, I love myself = *******s. A more realistic realisation is to recognise that I am broken, strange and not such a great human being at all , but to keep fighting for myself regardless of my limitations, even when it seems every else has given up on me

I didn't want to go past 7000 posts, so I deleted a couple.

I cannot sum up my life any better than this. So to constantly wake to this, it makes it worse and worse with no end in sight. This is why I pray for death. I am stuck living the same emotional nightmare day in and day out.
 
Lately when I go to sleep, I feel so exhausted, so bone tired. Then I wake in the morning and just feel this despair about who I am take hold.

I just had some cleaners in. They do exit cleaning as well. I probably freaked them out, I'm not sure if one shuddered because I weirded them out, or because it is was cold.


Opening up my world to anyone is the most fearful thing I can face. If I can dig myself out of this hole of a place I live, then it might just be one of the biggest achievements in my life.

I realise the most important thing I have done recently is reach out to family - my sister. She knows me, and will help me. And I need to seek support which is real. Even this is hard. My worse fear is that my anxiety will push my family away. And then I will be lost, because I can't fight this battle alone.

I'm not so sure about self-love. I'm freaking fantastic, I love myself = *******s. A more realistic realisation is to recognise that I am broken, strange and not such a great human being at all , but to keep fighting for myself regardless of my limitations, even when it seems every else has given up on me

I didn't want to go past 7000 posts, so I deleted a couple.

Kiwong, as always your comments are art... you sir are a true philosopher :applause:
 
Theory may be okay, or even exceptional at times, but my practical life is complete utter failure. SYSTEM MALFUNCTION .. CODE AMBER .. ALL SECTORS.
That there sums up the "wee" problem i have folks. :kickingmyself:
 
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