this_portrait
Well-known member
Covetous, with anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Not fun.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Woke up with a bad time in my head. I don't know if I was dreaming about it or what, but there it was, freaking me out all over again, like always. This happens too much.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Mixed feelings, really. Glad on the one hand. Anxious an scared that won't make the progress expected in ma rehab/recovery over tha next 3 months that ma consultant surgeon is hopin' for.
And at the moment, really pissed off that ma sister f***in' lectured me that "Ye should be weight-baring on baith legs, ye were hopin' aboot in yin leg fur tha past few weeks when ye were in plaster".
Aye, and... yer point bein' what, exactly? So, yer tellin' me ah didnae lotse any strength in either o' ma legs over the last month ataw?! Nane whatsoever? Despite huvin multiple surgeries done within the space of over 3 hours. GTF! :veryangry: Ye expecting me tae be dancin' a f***in' jig or summit tha same day ah git ma plaster casts off, like? Aye right. Eh, ah think you'll find am daein this oan ma terms alone, no yours.
So there's 2 options available here. Either help me or f*** off!!
And at the moment, really pissed off that ma sister f***in' lectured me that "Ye should be weight-baring on baith legs, ye were hopin' aboot in yin leg fur tha past few weeks when ye were in plaster".
Aye, and... yer point bein' what, exactly? So, yer tellin' me ah didnae lotse any strength in either o' ma legs over the last month ataw?! Nane whatsoever? Despite huvin multiple surgeries done within the space of over 3 hours. GTF! :veryangry: Ye expecting me tae be dancin' a f***in' jig or summit tha same day ah git ma plaster casts off, like? Aye right. Eh, ah think you'll find am daein this oan ma terms alone, no yours.
So there's 2 options available here. Either help me or f*** off!!
defiance
Well-known member
Mixed feelings, really. Glad on the one hand. Anxious an scared that won't make the progress expected in ma rehab/recovery over tha next 3 months that ma consultant surgeon is hopin' for.
And at the moment, really pissed off that ma sister f***in' lectured me that "Ye should be weight-baring on baith legs, ye were hopin' aboot in yin leg fur tha past few weeks when ye were in plaster".
Aye, and... yer point bein' what, exactly? So, yer tellin' me ah didnae lotse any strength in either o' ma legs over the last month ataw?! Nane whatsoever? Despite huvin multiple surgeries done within the space of over 3 hours. GTF! :veryangry: Ye expecting me tae be dancin' a f***in' jig or summit tha same day ah git ma plaster casts off, like? Aye right. Eh, ah think you'll find am daein this oan ma terms alone, no yours.
So there's 2 options available here. Either help me or f*** off!!
You'll be just fine. Do it on your own terms and you'll make the proper recovery. All the best to ya. Now as far as how im feeling today. It's dark....oh so dark. The really bad thoughts came back into my mind again after having a little relief from it yesterday. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE MAN CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME LIVE A NORMAL LIFE?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ye think so? Not doubtin' you, more maself, really.
Cheers for those kind, and much appreciated, words o' support, nonetheless. :thumbup:
Once again, ah huv empathy with you. Ah go through that exact same struggle as well. And sorry tae hear yer time withoot those bad thoughts wus oh so brief. :sad:
defiance
Well-known member
It's really sad that these are some of the things we have in common isn't it? But hey its nice to know that one isn't alone in their struggles as well right? We're still here so we still have a chance at getting better. I feel as if my window of opportunity is closing but it's not closed just yet so there is still some hope no matter how slim. And that goes for everyone who is struggling in any way. Thanks again.:thumbup:
Odo
Banned
Thanks a lot. :
:No, it's not the flu... there's no fever or real 'sick' feeling. It's just lethargy, exhaustion and horrible pain and/or nausea after eating anything. I have a really hard time getting out of bed and even though I get really hungry, I can't eat much.
Last night I cooked some chicken and could only make it through 4 small pieces. I can barely stand eating anything... I just had some yogurt and my stomach feels like a balloon.
I ate a lot of really crap food on my trip and at least once I suspected that a bottle of water I bought was actually refilled with tap water. Yes, they do that here... and it means horrible things for the people who drink it.
I am seriously in awe of the incredibly shitty string of events that has befallen me since December.
Nanita
Well-known member
Thanks a lot. :
No, it's not the flu... there's no fever or real 'sick' feeling. It's just lethargy, exhaustion and horrible pain and/or nausea after eating anything. I have a really hard time getting out of bed and even though I get really hungry, I can't eat much.
Last night I cooked some chicken and could only make it through 4 small pieces. I can barely stand eating anything... I just had some yogurt and my stomach feels like a balloon.
I ate a lot of really crap food on my trip and at least once I suspected that a bottle of water I bought was actually refilled with tap water. Yes, they do that here... and it means horrible things for the people who drink it.
I am seriously in awe of the incredibly shitty string of events that has befallen me since December.
I don't mean "the flu", I mean stomach flu, which doesn't cause fever..
Maybe it's food poisoning.
Anyway feel better..
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
At the moment, pretty depressed. Actually startin' to regret the last month or so of ma life. Cuz ah don't know if ah've got whit it takes to recover from this surgery fully an see any improvements in my condition. :sad:
Megaten
Well-known member
Like Ive got my head in vice. We had to give another presentation today, except this time our classmates would be the ones grading each other. I didnt read the instructions right and was missing a few important things so my project looked lazy. Not sure why my head hurts though. Thats never happened before.
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this_portrait
Well-known member
Conflicted. If I get up and be productive, it might keep unpleasant thoughts away, but at the same time I'd rather lay here and daydream. Maybe if I dream hard enough, all my fantasies will come to life.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Waaaa!!! I miss having girl friends to unwind with, Hopefully that will end soon.
defiance
Well-known member
well as if my mental hell that I go through everyday isn't bad enough now my PIECE OF SH*T FATHER IS AT IT AGAIN. EVERY TIME THIS GUY OPENS HIS MOUTH I GET PISSED OFF. HE LIVES TO ANNOY PEOPLE I SWEAR. He's not the worst person in the world for some but for me he is annoying and if it wasn't for my problems and the fact that he is one of the people I am dependent on for support I would have left this house to live on my own and cut all ties with this piece of SH*T. DEAR GOD PLEASE LET ME JUST SLEEP AND NOT WAKE UP TOMORROW. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH MAN.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
In a lotta pain. Mentally, emotionally, physically. :sad:
Just waitin' fur tha physical side of things tae worsen so that ah've got a justified excuse tae end it aw.
Just waitin' fur tha physical side of things tae worsen so that ah've got a justified excuse tae end it aw.
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Odo
Banned
I always feel bad when my anxiety combined with low energy and nausea make me act a lot ruder than I intend to be. Why did the first woman I've met in China who is actually creative have to introduce herself to me TODAY?
I should have got her contact info, but instead all I could think about was panic and getting home.
Ah well, maybe I will see her again... it's not such a big campus.
I should have got her contact info, but instead all I could think about was panic and getting home.
Ah well, maybe I will see her again... it's not such a big campus.
this_portrait
Well-known member
Tired. Kinda hopeless, save for in the job category (that's the only area where I have just a LITTLE bit of hope). Why does everyone go away?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Wonderin' if it's even worth it anymore - livin', y'know? Cuz things dinnae seem be in ma favour most o' tha time. Really, am just exist tae make others happy or - to be really honest - make other folk glad they're not huvin tae struggle day in day oot with tha shite ah huv tae endure everyday of ma life.
defiance
Well-known member
I feel your pain. Every night right before I go to sleep I am filled with a little bit of hope. Hope that when I sleep there is a chance I might not wake up and I can be done with this existence. Every morning I open my eyes and am immediately surrounded by my crippling emotions. For me life wasn't a gift but a curse. Everyday I read about good people that died young tragically from a car accident or something along those lines and all I could think is that it should have been me and not them. They had something to live for but me....well nothing. Even on my days when I am not so bad and feel somewhat numb I still ask myself "hmm if i were like this everyday would I want to continue living?" and the answer is always no I still wouldn't.:crying::kickingmyself::sad:
mg:
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
So tired it hurts, and I don't know why.