I just slept through the entire Saturday because I've lost a ton of sleep over the last month or so. It struck me that I rarely feel as rested as I do right now - which means I'm in a perpetual state of exhaustion.
Between stress and my spring-lumpy mattress I don't get nearly enough rest.
I just slept through the entire Saturday because I've lost a ton of sleep over the last month or so. It struck me that I rarely feel as rested as I do right now - which means I'm in a perpetual state of exhaustion.
Between stress and my spring-lumpy mattress I don't get nearly enough rest.
I spread an old, thick, comforter under the fitted sheet on my bed. It's basically a ghetto mattress pad, but I didn't have to buy anything, and now my busted old mattress sleeps like a dream.
sad. I miss my mom. Last time I spent time with her we actually felt like sisters more than mother-daughter. We rented movies drank wine and ate take out food. We watched Cloud Atlas together...that was really cool... played with the cats and hung out in the yard.
I spread an old, thick, comforter under the fitted sheet on my bed. It's basically a ghetto mattress pad, but I didn't have to buy anything, and now my busted old mattress sleeps like a dream.
I am so conflicted. I just found out my boyfriend lied to me about his friend not being his ex also. So now I know that this girl he tells everything too (she even revealed to me that she knows some of my personal information) is his ex girlfriend and I am obviously NOT okay with any of that. I know I won't be able to trust him now but I don't know if I should break up with him because of this. If I were to demand that he breaks off all contact with her and he complies, then I guess I'll stick with him. If he says no, then I think I should drop him. I honestly don't even want to entertain that idea though because I'll be so lost without him. With SA, it's extremely difficult to get close to someone, even as a friend. So I think I'm really lucky to have my boyfriend, even though the fact he lied makes me feel like shit. If I were a strong and healthy individual, I'd no doubt cut my losses and run but I can't even picture myself being single and depressed again.
I just realized I have NEVER used my gift of intuition which is so incredibly strong and accurate it is not even funny. I think this world we live in relys on people never trusting themselves...it is how everything runs. How many of us can say we go with our gut-feelings all of the time? We are forced to go against what we feel and what we know innately. I wonder how different my life would be now if I had listened to that inner voice? I can barely make it out anymore but it is still there screaming to be heard.
I just realized I have NEVER used my gift of intuition which is so incredibly strong and accurate it is not even funny. I think this world we live in relys on people never trusting themselves...it is how everything runs. How many of us can say we go with our gut-feelings all of the time? We are forced to go against what we feel and what we know innately. I wonder how different my life would be now if I had listened to that inner voice? I can barely make it out anymore but it is still there screaming to be heard.
It's a liberating feeling once you start doing it. Of course, you then also need to separate beneficial gut feelings from the strong anxiety driven negative ones, because the latter are sometimes flat out lies.
But generally it's nice to just go through life based on your own sense of morality, planning and intuition. Though, definitely not all of the time. I'm pretty sure that would get me killed if I didn't stop and think once in a while. 🤭
I've done it for a considerable amount of years now - and while it didn't get me any friends personally, I feel less of the odd ball out, and rather what it is objectively; out of sync without overly negative connotations. It also helps dispel the notion that being eccentric and different is a bad thing. There's a strange kind of peacefulness in that.
It's a liberating feeling once you start doing it. Of course, you then also need to separate beneficial gut feelings from the strong anxiety driven negative ones, because the latter are sometimes flat out lies.
But generally it's nice to just go through life based on your own sense of morality, planning and intuition. Though, definitely not all of the time. I'm pretty sure that would get me killed if I didn't stop and think once in a while. 🤭
I've done it for a considerable amount of years now - and while it didn't get me any friends personally, I feel less of the odd ball out, and rather what it is objectively; out of sync without overly negative connotations. It also helps dispel the notion that being eccentric and different is a bad thing. There's a strange kind of peacefulness in that.
Interesting! You're braver than me. Then I have to think what if my gut feeling is so ruined by my anxiety it is just my anxiety telling me "No don't do that" ??
I broke up with my cheating boyfriend yesterday and I feel really proud of myself. I used a ton of sass and a ton of truth and his face was priceless.. he didn't know what to do! He was in shock, for sure. I miss him but I'm not gonna be one of those girls who takes a cheater back. Like them, I deserve better and I'm not going to let him bring me down. I'm not very happy right now, but I know I will be okay and that's what counts, right? Not that anyone cares, but I guess I sort of treat this as a diary anyway so it's cool.
I broke up with my cheating boyfriend yesterday and I feel really proud of myself. I used a ton of sass and a ton of truth and his face was priceless.. he didn't know what to do! He was in shock, for sure. I miss him but I'm not gonna be one of those girls who takes a cheater back. Like them, I deserve better and I'm not going to let him bring me down. I'm not very happy right now, but I know I will be okay and that's what counts, right? Not that anyone cares, but I guess I sort of treat this as a diary anyway so it's cool.
Good for you! Doesn't it feel amazingly good to stand up for yourself?!
I broke up with my cheating boyfriend yesterday and I feel really proud of myself. I used a ton of sass and a ton of truth and his face was priceless.. he didn't know what to do! He was in shock, for sure. I miss him but I'm not gonna be one of those girls who takes a cheater back. Like them, I deserve better and I'm not going to let him bring me down. I'm not very happy right now, but I know I will be okay and that's what counts, right? Not that anyone cares, but I guess I sort of treat this as a diary anyway so it's cool.
^Makes me happy to read about a girl not putting up with a cheating boyfriend. Well done Courtney. 🙂
I broke up with my cheating boyfriend yesterday and I feel really proud of myself. I used a ton of sass and a ton of truth and his face was priceless.. he didn't know what to do! He was in shock, for sure. I miss him but I'm not gonna be one of those girls who takes a cheater back. Like them, I deserve better and I'm not going to let him bring me down. I'm not very happy right now, but I know I will be okay and that's what counts, right? Not that anyone cares, but I guess I sort of treat this as a diary anyway so it's cool.
Guilty for indulging in my own hobbies when I have a lot of free time, while the rest of the family is either working/studying/job hunting. I never thought I'd say this, but I actually want the uni semester to start up again so I can feel like I'm doing something constructive.
#47421
