Hope you feel better today. I read your post Friday night after a particularly difficult day which was just another day like the life you described. So called "friends" left me out of group plans again, and even though it was nothing I hadn't experienced a thousand times before, I just couldn't seem to handle it that evening. So I resigned to giving up on life again - not to kill myself, but just give up on trying to have higher expectations. It's a miserable existence.
Anyway, took me two days to get around to responding to your post. And I just wanted to say that I hope today is a better for you.