Being too realise that the people who tell that they love you are usual the one who will hurt most. Sorry, I wish I had something more positive to say. But lately, I've been feelin' very awkward, social. Sad, in general. Since ah usually say the wrong thing and end up hurting people.
Probably due to the fact that I'm not a very nice person, despite my best efforts. :sad:
Cooooold. Back to the freezing winter weather again. :sad: My heater isn't even keeping me warm today. I really just want this season to end already, it's been so brutal.
Also debating on what I want to do tonight. Stay inside and take the night to myself, doing the same old things I normally do, or go out in the cold and try to find something to do. :thinking:
Most people are shallow to some extent, but it's because we want aspects of the opposite sex that appeal to us. For example, I'm far less likely to date a nice girl if she's a smoker, because that's a massive no-no for me.
Facebook makes social.ising very impersonal, I agree, but don't forget that less and less people are using it, and not everyone who is on it actually uses it much. I think there are still good people, but the pool isn't shrinking as fast as you say.
When I say "shallow" I mean that people in general do not have the capacity anymore to love in a substantial and permanent way. Here in America we are taught to put ourselves first before everything. How can you love someone who truly only puts themself first? Why would you want to?
Everyone is just trying to get the best deal. Consumerism has hit the sphere of relationships! If that is what it is, fine. But I'm not so sure I want to be a part of it anymore.
Needless to say I am really rethinking love, romance, sex, even friendship.
When one realizes that they are living in a toxic environment it would behoove one to find ways to limit the damage.
I was attacked by brief moments of loserness and low self esteem. I feel like a loser because of my situation. I am not the high achieving young adult making 50K+ a year. I also felt very self conscious, hyper aware, and experienced performance anxiety at certain times of the day. It's like the scene from Alice in Wonderland where she was in this dark forest and a whole bunch of eyes are staring at her. I'm trying to be spontaneous but this is inhibiting me to a certain extent. Reminds me of this article I read:
Feeling very weighed down by what's happening in life at the moment, and not feeling strong enough to deal with it. Wishing I could get away for a while to recoup
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