being around other humans is exhausting. the ocd mind-replays are involuntary and take significant energy whether i let them run their course or whether i try to suppress them.
I have OCD as well and I know exactly what you are talking about. At this point I've pretty much given up on ever being OCD free and now I just try to control it as much as I can. It's hard to explain, but it's like I have accepted it and when I did that it took away some of it's power over me. If that makes any sense.
I have OCD as well and I know exactly what you are talking about. At this point I've pretty much given up on ever being OCD free and now I just try to control it as much as I can. It's hard to explain, but it's like I have accepted it and when I did that it took away some of it's power over me. If that makes any sense.
it is pretty much impossible to imagine being any other way...
I had a cr*ppy morning. I woke up 1.5 hours early with hunger and cramp pains. I was debating whether to wake up early to address my pains but the other part of me is sleepy and tells me to stay in bed. But eventually the pain was so bad I couldn't sleep anymore. I had to wake up, eat breakfast to ease the hunger, and take some pills for my cramps. Yep, turns out I have my period, 6-7 days LATE. Over the last 2 weeks, I spent time preparing for it, but all for nothing! I hate it when this happens, like when I'm waiting for something but it doesn't come until like weeks later, irregularities. I just don't understand why it came so late - I wasn't dieting over the month until yesterday when I grew impatient, I ate healthy and nutritious food, I exercised, etc. Still feeling like sh*t though, but the pain has eased a lot.
Well, eh, no' great. It's down tae me to compile the music for ma cousin's funeral, and just got news today that it'll be delayed for a wee while. :sad:
It has been really depressing lately... just grey and dark, hovering in the ugly zone between rain and snow.
I like the snow but it's annoying to have to put on boots and a hat and gloves and a jacket just to walk to the mailbox.
I have heard that winter makes people sadder, and I can understand that. I guess I'm lucky in that our winters aren't as cold and it never snows in Shellharbour, so we still get lots of sun.
Having to put on twelve layers just to check the mailbox sounds like a massive chore. I guess I need to apply twelve inches of sunscreen for the same errand. :bigsmile:
Finished one stage of a big work project that I have been working on for three months. The recipient of the work was very happy, and wanted to contribute resources to the next stage. I was thanked by several work colleague for my effort. I have to write a work plan for the next stage.
Well, I'm stunted emotionally and detached. What is there to lose, reallly? Eh, ye might aside from me being thought of as a aggressive, shite Scottish person and total fanny. Quite a lot lose, considerin' how ma family treats me. Aye, ah might be no less important as a human being - but when everything ah say is taken as "amusing" it's kinda hard to get through to ma family. Also get meet with indifference and mockery when ah express ma thoughts, feelin', opinions, etc.
And ma blunt, deadpan tone of voice make it hard to be taken seriously, anyway. So there's quite a lot to lose especially when ma family don't huv a bad word to say towards me. Aye, it might worth it in the long run, but ma family might no speak to me for awhile if ah do "Grow some ball and speak ma mind" to quote the lyrics in ma signature
Yeah, i always had a deadpan/pokerfaced way of talking (perhaps to protect me'self), and people often didn't know if i were serious or joking, or said i had a very "dry" sense of humour. And i didn't take myself seriously back then, & neither did most of my peers. But that is the lot of the comedian.
Perhaps you could speak your mind in a more subtle way then? (ie more passive-aggressive than aggressive). A way that doesn't actually anger/enrage them, or even belittle/etc ... but there are subtle ways/means to get your "point" across to them, so that they take notice (ie makes them think about your words later). And maybe your personality (like mine) is confrontation-averse, finding it very hard to voice myself properly (in right tone, facial expression, etc) ... so subtle/passive is probably the only way to go (without having to go to the extreme, such as get into a violent rage, which i definately don't recommend ever, even though it tends to get the message accross loud'n'clear, as it causes other unwanted damage)
Yeah, i always had a deadpan/pokerfaced way of talking (perhaps to protect me'self), and people often didn't know if i were serious or joking, or said i had a very "dry" sense of humour. And i didn't take myself seriously back then, & neither did most of my peers. But that is the lot of the comedian.
Perhaps you could speak your mind in a more subtle way then? (ie more passive-aggressive than aggressive). A way that doesn't actually anger/enrage them, or even belittle/etc ... but there are subtle ways/means to get your "point" across to them, so that they take notice (ie makes them think about your words later). And maybe your personality (like mine) is confrontation-averse, finding it very hard to voice myself properly (in right tone, facial expression, etc) ... so subtle/passive is probably the only way to go (without having to go to the extreme, such as get into a violent rage, which i definately don't recommend ever, even though it tends to get the message accross loud'n'clear, as it causes other unwanted damage)
Aye, but what if they react aggressively? Since everytime ah speak ma mind, even subtly - ah get shouted at, condesended to or belittled. Or just get ignored. :sad: Which is probably why ah don't voice how ah feel or ma opinions.
Ah don't think am confrontation-averse, more like ma family are confrontation-averse. Because they don't actually want to hear how am feelin'. Better livin' in denial, believin' in nothin' *
Yeah, i always had a deadpan/pokerfaced way of talking (perhaps to protect me'self), and people often didn't know if i were serious or joking, or said i had a very "dry" sense of humour.
Aye, that's me. Resting Bitchface n' all. :bigsmile:
Though, wi' me, people often mistake me bein' serious for bein' hysterically funny. :oh: Since ah use humour to get ma points across a lotta the time. Ah guess ah've just accepted that naebody takes me, seriously. :idontknow:
Aye, but what if they react aggressively? Since everytime ah speak ma mind, even subtly - ah get shouted at, condesended to or belittled. Or just get ignored. :sad: Which is probably why ah don't voice how ah feel or ma opinions
Well it be obvious that, however subtle you try, you're still managing to "rattle their cage". Their "inner lizard" are reacting to your words in some way, regarding them as some form of threat to (i would say) their ego's. They don't want to feel inferior, less knowledgeable, naeive, stupid, etc, etc. Neither do they want to feel irritated. It could also be years of learned, habitual responses at work here.
All i can suggest is keep trying to find things you can say that won't upset or rile them. They have their "triggers", which you will need to learn to avoid also. Maybe try to say things that you know they'll agree with? Good luck...
Though, wi' me, people often mistake me bein' serious for bein' hysterically funny. :oh: Since ah use humour to get ma points across a lotta the time. Ah guess ah've just accepted that naebody takes me, seriously. :idontknow:
Well i'm afraid it might be case of "Peter and the Wolf", sorry to say :sad:
However, all is not lost, as i managed to get past all of this (albeit 20 year later, properly that is). I do know that until you take yourself more seriously, then chances are others won't until that happens. Even "comedians" can be serious, and taken seriously (there is a limit though usually). You just need to be the type of serious that's suited to your comedic-type personality; certainly not deadly-serious, but more of a casual, laid-back kind of serious i think. But only you can know what "serious personality" could suit you. Maybe watch some youtube videos of comedians being serious? (eg Jim Carrey)
Well it be obvious that, however subtle you try, you're still managing to "rattle their cage". Their "inner lizard" are reacting to your words in some way, regarding them as some form of threat to (i would say) their ego's. They don't want to feel inferior, less knowledgeable, naeive, stupid, etc, etc. Neither do they want to feel irritated. It could also be years of learned, habitual responses at work here.
Ah agree with yer whole ego point. Also not wantin' tae feel inferior, less knowledgeable or stupid - even though, ah feel that way, masel'. :sad:
All i can suggest is keep trying to find things you can say that won't upset or rile them. They have their "triggers", which you will need to learn to avoid also. Maybe try to say things that you know they'll agree with? Good luck...
It's a bit hard to know what they'll agree with, when we don't really communicate much, anymore. Ah'll try ma best, though. :idontknow:
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