How are you feeling?

[Ome]

Just venting a bit here...

I'm really anxious. I feel like I'm going to choke every time I think about it...

My parents desperately want me to get a job, as staying home for vacations isn't very desirable in their eyes. More than anything, they want me to stay out of my computer, as it is something that really takes a lot of my time when I'm relaxing.

As a sidenote, I do help around the house and anything I can do.

The job I've applied to (pressured by my parents) requires me to talk and treat customers all day.

I can't do it. I can't imagine having to talk to a lot of people who will judge me and will have a general impact on my job. I can't get off my mind the possibility of failing to be kind or useful to someone and get fired. I'm incredibly scared of failing.

I don't like the way I look or talk, I can't do this...

I don't want to do it, and risking getting my parents angry at me, I might turn the job down.

 

[MikeyC]

But you know what? I'm still happy I have the freedom to do what I want, to a certain extent. Yes there are laws and rules and regulations, but no one is telling me what I have to eat for breakfast. No one is telling me what clothes I can and can't wear (except at work). I have the freedom to walk outside and sit in the grass, there is sunshine (though not as often as I'd like, living in New England). My cat is freaking adorable and amazing (yes, amazing) and soooooo soft. Most of the people I know fairly well are good human beings that I can talk to and share life with and that makes it so much better (although I wish I had more, but I'm sure those will come in time). My blankets are so soft and warm and chocolate is fantastic (but so are green beans) and I can listen to any music in the world while alternating between Submachine (you should seriously try it) and talking to friends while eating tiramisu (I wish I had some right now) and glancing at the episode of Adventure Time on the television screen but I'm really thinking about how comfortable my running shoes are (although I would like to gradually switch to "barefoot" running with a minimalist shoe like Vibram) and whether or not I should get a coffee tomorrow because I actually like coffee now but I don't want to get addicted to the caffeine. I can also write extra-long run-on sentences with only the fear of a scolding from the Grammar Nazis of the world

So yeah, even in spite of the anxiety and resulting feelings of depression, there are things to be happy about. Lots of them. More than I listed. And reading dystopian literature sure helps to appreciate these things all the more

Nicely done for looking at the positives in a way that I'm trying to do, too. :thumbup:

 

[alwayssunnyinphiladelphia]

I am a nervous wreck like in every situation even on the internet

 

[anthony54321]

Our feelings reflect our focus of attention, , when you feel bad your reacting to things you don't want, when you want to get rid of something whether that be negative thoughts or feelings this causes you to get more involved with them and the issue,what you should be doing is practicing just letting goof them and focus on what you do want for a welcome change

 

[Graeme1988]

I am a nervous wreck like in every situation even on the internet

Aye, ah can relate there... unfortunately.

Ach, the weather's totally sh*te here today. Rain - typical Scottish weather. :bigsmile: Well, suppose it gives me sometime tae do somethin' - like watch a movie or play ma guitar for a wee while. Ma creativity seems tae be the only thing that's keepin' me going, at the moment. Which is quite sad, in a way..

 

[neardeath]

Aye, ah can relate there... unfortunately.

Ach, the weather's totally sh*te here today. Rain - typical Scottish weather. :bigsmile: Well, suppose it gives me sometime tae do somethin' - like watch a movie or play ma guitar for a wee while. Ma creativity seems tae be the only thing that's keepin' me going, at the moment. Which is quite sad, in a way..

It's been a very cold spring here near Lake Superior in Minnesota. It was 48F yesterday, but I went kayaking in shorts. The water is 35F on the surface of the big lake.

Thanks for reminding me I just got a crank to turn the pegs and get new strings on the guitar. I haven't played in a really long time.

I am grateful for a long weekend with my visiting son. I haven't spent that much time with him in YEARS. I noticed my social anxiety, even in my relationship with my firstborn son! Wow. It runs deep. :idontknow:

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm already feeling a lot better today than I was yesterday. Granted I'm not happy or optimistic, but I'm mostly content. And I will take that over being in a flunk any day.

I'm also feeling really lazy today and I don't feel like doing anything. It's my last day of vacation and then back to college to start my summer semester tomorrow. :/ I have things to do though. If I get off my rear and actually start doing these things instead of procrastinating, then I'll be able to treat myself to being lazy the rest of the day. Okay Phoenixx, let's go!

 

[Graeme1988]

Thanks for reminding me I just got a crank to turn the pegs and get new strings on the guitar. I haven't played in a really long time.

Nae problem, mate. Ah've been gettin' ma Fender guitar custom shopped, huvin' the guitar neck replaced and a Floyd Rose tremolo system fitted. So ah should get it back this week, hopefully. Though, ah huv'nae play for awhile, either. Since am tryin' tae save for some single stompbox effect pedals.

I am grateful for a long weekend with my visiting son. I haven't spent that much time with him in YEARS. I noticed my social anxiety, even in my relationship with my firstborn son! Wow. It runs deep. :idontknow:

Sorry tae hear about that. Well... the social anxiety part, anyway. :idontknow:

 

[Graeme1988]

Granted I'm not happy or optimistic, but I'm mostly content.

I'm also feeling really lazy today and I don't feel like doing anything.

Ah know how ye feel, Phoenixx. Ah've been feelin' the same way, lately.

Ah've also been procrastinatin' more than usual, too. Need tae get off ma lazy arse an' get stuff done!

 

[BlueWeepingRose]

I was sick but I'm feeling a little bit better now which I'm happier about. Noticed I haven't been on this forum is sooo long. It's good to be back again though.

 

[jaim38]

Feeling ok today. Not sad or ashamed like I was supposed to. I just received notice that a volunteer quit the organization because he didn't feel comfortable working with people who he couldn't see or hear. I know, as a member of the org, I'm supposed to feel bad about this, but I don't. I like the relative anonymity that comes with being in the org. I don't feel comfortable calling people or skyping with them. If I were this volunteer, I would be so happy to be part of the org.

My dream job is a job that requires as little contact with people as possible. I know I have social anxiety, but I think I'm also a misanthrope, though a mild one. I certainly don't hate all of humanity but if I have it my way I wouldn't want anything to do with most people. But it's kind of weird how I love online interaction, but dislike physical interaction so much. I love helping people online but offline I avoid people if I can.

 

[Graeme1988]

My dream job is a job that requires as little contact with people as possible. I know I have social anxiety, but I think I'm also a misanthrope, though a mild one. I certainly don't hate all of humanity but if I have it my way I wouldn't want anything to do with most people. But it's kind of weird how I love online interaction, but dislike physical interaction so much. I love helping people online but offline I avoid people if I can.

Same here, and am exactly the same with the online/offline interaction.

 

[anomicdeer]

I will never get the chance to be relieved of someone else knowing how creepy he is. No one will never know what he does on FB and when he's still on his computer when I'm sleep. No one will never know that he can't wait until I leave in the morning so he can go watch porn. He probably doesn't know I know. No one will never know how excited he gets when there are little girls in his sight, especially in the summer. No one will never know that I regret everything I've ever done in my life. They all will just think I'm stupid.

 

[Graeme1988]

^ That's f**ked up! And quite upsettin'... Don't know what tae say? :sad:

 

[dangermouse]

I feel fine

 

[MikeyC]

I was sick but I'm feeling a little bit better now which I'm happier about. Noticed I haven't been on this forum is sooo long. It's good to be back again though.

Welcome back.

Oh, goody. Another downer of a day coming up. What the hell is wrong with me? :kickingmyself:

 

[Graeme1988]

Oh, goody. Another downer of a day coming up. What the hell is wrong with me? :kickingmyself:

Yer not alone, ah've been feelin' that way too, Mikey.

Hang in there, mate. :thumbup:

 

[MikeyC]

Yer not alone, ah've been feelin' that way too, Mikey.

Hang in there, mate. :thumbup:

Thanks, mate.

 

[vj288]

Welcome back.

Oh, goody. Another downer of a day coming up. What the hell is wrong with me? :kickingmyself:

Too much down, not enough up. Sounds like someone needs to take a ride on a high speed escalator.

It's super fun, make sure to tie your shoes before you get on though.

 

[MikeyC]

Too much down, not enough up. Sounds like someone needs to take a ride on a high speed escalator.

It's super fun, make sure to tie your shoes before you get on though.

Untied shoes make the ride a little more thrilling.