I can´t go on, I am so psychically depleted and that´s most important for being able to proceed. I really can´t help myself anymore. I don´t know what I´m going to do, I need some miracle probably. I would stop trying at least for a while but I can´t because this living at home is unbearable. I am running out of time, my CV is getting ****tier every day and month, I am so depressed that I´m only staring the doom in the face unable to do anything. And the thought, that my father holds most of the keys from my life, that he is the only person who could help me most, he could get me going if he wanted, instead the whole life he´s doing the exact opposite, he is tearing me down and makes sure I never crawl out of the mud, in case I do a bit he kicks me right back in. He seems to have some sadistic enjoyment of making me suffer. He stole me money from 2,5 years of slaving in Germany years ago, while other parents pay their children studies, weddings, houses. It all makes me so sick and I can´t help crying. Is rude to me all the time, he thinks I am not a human or am just some **** to kick when he is angry, he has no considereation for me as human being at all. I guess if he wanted he could help me to find a job or borrow me money to go abroad and look, it´s not much comparing to what other parents do for their children. And even though it´s not much it would make a hell of difference to me. But as I say, I am not a human. All he can do is shout at me, mock and humiliate for nothing.
That's Awesome. Hope you have a good Day.
