How are you feeling?

i'm lacking mental stimulation.

Oh, and continuing on fae ma last post, am f**kin' knackered! Totally exhausted. Huv'nae been sleepin' much, lately. Am tired tae the point o' an emotionally breakdown! Ah think... am no entirely sure! :idontknow: Insomnia coupled wi' depression - great innit? Am being sarcastic, obviously. :kickingmyself: :crying:

Zarathustra said: ↑

Lack of sleep and depression are a really nasty combination. Sorry to hear that you're having a bad time. Is it worth going to the doctor's and getting a prescription for a Z drug? I know they're not a long-term solution, but a good night's sleep would certainly help you clear your mind a little and provide some relief from the constant noise of daily life, if nothing else. Sorry to hear you're going through a bad time, hope you come out the other side in the near future.

Aye, I'll see about some meds tae help with ma insomnia. Good idea! :thumbup:

I think I am cancelling everything on my list for today. Will I ever be able to hang in there? I hate this disease and people and the world. Feel like sleeping and crying. Totally broke. No power here. Loser.

neardeath said: ↑

I think I am cancelling everything on my list for today. Will I ever be able to hang in there? I hate this disease and people and the world. Feel like sleeping and crying. Totally broke. No power here. Loser.

Am feelin' the same way. But ah hope things start turning round for ye soon, mate. And yer not a loser, even if ye do feel like one. :thumbup:

Best tae let it out or rest. Or both! Mind you, am just sayin'...

^I'm feeling the same. *hugs* to you both.

Srijita52 said: ↑

^I'm feeling the same. *hugs* to you both.

Sorry tae hear, darlin'. Thanks for the hug, though. :bigsmile: 🙂 Here's one for you too:

Hope ye feel better soon. :thumbup:

Zarathustra said: ↑

I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now, it sounds like you're going through a lot. Life can definitely feel like that whole uphill struggle kind of thing sometimes. I know it's easy for me to say this, and much, much more difficult in practice, but these things that you say you need to fix, perhaps if you're genuinely incapable of fixing them, that maybe it might help to accept that it's out of your control and work on the things you're able to change. Also, sometimes when things are bleak it's easy for things to appear much more broken than they are. I don't believe in 'shoulds' but have you considered giving yourself credit for the fact that you are fighting, and despite adversity, you're still here? That's no small feat. Hope things get better soon.

thanks that's a great response. 🙂 for me i find my life is a constant struggle between the 'ideal self' and the 'present self'. i so badly want to bridge the gap between the two but the ideal self seems unobtainable. whether it's just my pessimism that makes me believe this, i'm not sure. the thing is the ideal self seems simple enough to obtain in theory. like for example just wanting good sleep, but it seems i will have to go to the extreme of going to sleep clinic and getting my head analyzed or something, since nothing else has helped. i don't want to create miracles in bettering myself, but even the most simple mundane changes need great barriers to be overcome. its just frustrating i guess. :kickingmyself:

wel i am still here, and i have survived a lot. so that is a plus. i don't mean to sound ungrateful, but sometimes i wish my life included more living as opposed to just the surviving.

Srijita52 said: ↑

^I'm feeling the same. *hugs* to you both.

and a *hug* for you too.

Pretty good actually 🙂 Sunshine and blue sky all day today. Was smiling at strangers (rare thing!!) and enjoying myself before I knew what was happening ^__^

5 days without caffiene, felt much more relaxed at work. Feeling relaxed is great, I don't know why I drink so much caffiene. It makes me feel jittery, I can't talk to anyone, I have to take a pee all the time, and when I try to stop drinking it I get a horrible headache. The feeling of not drinking caffiene is bloody wonderful.

selon said: ↑

Pretty good actually 🙂 Sunshine and blue sky all day today. Was smiling at strangers (rare thing!!) and enjoying myself before I knew what was happening ^__^

yay! somebody to add something positive. :bigsmile:

well done on your good day.

Quite unbearable tbh, I wish I wasn´t such a wreck most of the time. But I would be happy to suffer it through if I at least knew the purpose of it and had a hope that it will ever end. (Not writing this to get sympathy, as much I appreciate people offering it).

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Am feelin' the same way. But ah hope things start turning round for ye soon, mate. And yer not a loser, even if ye do feel like one. :thumbup:

Best tae let it out or rest. Or both! Mind you, am just sayin'...

Thanks Graeme, I just let it go and let myself cancel plans and rest for the day. It's hard not to feel negative about it, but I'm trying.

neardeath said: ↑

Thanks Graeme, I just let it go and let myself cancel plans and rest for the day. It's hard not to feel negative about it, but I'm trying.

Ah know. But be so hard on yerself, or feel too bad about it. Hopefully you can reschedule yer plans, though?

phocas said: ↑

I need
A lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel, sweet
Love of my life
O, I need this

Me too.
...

I feel really, reeeeaaally weird today.

I don't want to do homework. But I really must. Stupid depression prevented me from doing it during the weekend.

Psychophysically so crappy, like always. I wonder why I can´t ever feel well? Why is it normal feeling ****ty. I try to do all tasks planned despite of it - like always anyway - but this is rather purgatory than life.

apathy reigns over me.

Why must every decision ah make, constantly, get undermind and second guessed? Eh?! Why dae ah f**kin' bother... ?! :kickingmyself: