Thanks Mikey, so relieved I got through that.Phew. So tired now Ill be asleep very early tonight
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
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Thanks Mikey, so relieved I got through that.Phew. So tired now Ill be asleep very early tonight
planemo
Well-known member
Not that great. My life is really at a crossroads at the moment. There is this real desire to want to grow out of this pathetic figure of a lonely recluse whose too ashamed of himself, and the reality that i am this person for a reason, and that trying to change is as pointless as a pencil without a nib.
If i just lay down and accept where i am, then i'll wonder what might have been, but if i fight i know i will have to face things that in the past has pushed me to breaking point.
so in short - damned if i do, damned if i don't.
sometimes i wonder why i still put up with this life. :sad:
If i just lay down and accept where i am, then i'll wonder what might have been, but if i fight i know i will have to face things that in the past has pushed me to breaking point.
so in short - damned if i do, damned if i don't.
sometimes i wonder why i still put up with this life. :sad:
WishingICould
Well-known member
Angry/frustrated/tired/anxious/trapped.
1BlackSheep
Well-known member
I understand how you feel about wanting to change, being ashamed of things, and wanting to get out there more. Change is not easy, especially if you don't have much in the way of support. What interests do you have that you might want to pursue?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Horrible. So there's this big empty study center in the basement of the library that I hang out in a lot either in between classes or waiting for my friend to get out of class. No one ever hardly comes in here, I don't know why, but I like it that way. I like keeping to myself and working alone. Well, a whole group of students just came in here, totally caught me by surprise, and then had all these puzzled looks on their faces because I'm just sitting in here alone. I was about to leave, because I thought it was a class or something about to use the room when I see my lab instructor from last semester's Biochemistry class and says "No you're okay." (this was the Chem lab library tour -- had it last year) And then all of a sudden she starts introducing me to this group of people and asking me questions about last year's class, but I didn't even know how to respond. I just stuttered a lot and gave weird short answers. Obviously they were weird since she responded to one as, "Well that wasn't exactly what I was looking for." It was all over within a few mins., but I felt like she just rushed them out because of me. I apologized but she's just like, "No it's okay. See you around." as she was walking out the door.
I feel like bursting into tears right now. :crying: I'm tired, but I was finally feeling okay since all my anxiety diminished from earlier in the day and I managed to get some homework done. All it takes is a situation like that to get my heart pumping like crazy, blood rushing, my head hurting, and feeling like I'm slowly being suffocated while also feeling like I want to throw up all over again. :sad: It really just makes me hate myself even more.
I feel like bursting into tears right now. :crying: I'm tired, but I was finally feeling okay since all my anxiety diminished from earlier in the day and I managed to get some homework done. All it takes is a situation like that to get my heart pumping like crazy, blood rushing, my head hurting, and feeling like I'm slowly being suffocated while also feeling like I want to throw up all over again. :sad: It really just makes me hate myself even more.
planemo
Well-known member
^
sorry you had to face that situation Phoenixx :sad:
there are a few things, but my inability to come to terms with my past and my current reasons for wanting to hide in shame from the world stops me, i'm afraid.
i'm finding even small things like going to the corner store or taking a walk outside very difficult. i did want to pursue my studies again this year but it's not possible with me like this. plus trying to find a degree with which someone like me can use (possibly meaning working from home) seems unlikely.
but thanks for your concern, it means a lot.
sorry you had to face that situation Phoenixx :sad:
there are a few things, but my inability to come to terms with my past and my current reasons for wanting to hide in shame from the world stops me, i'm afraid.
i'm finding even small things like going to the corner store or taking a walk outside very difficult. i did want to pursue my studies again this year but it's not possible with me like this. plus trying to find a degree with which someone like me can use (possibly meaning working from home) seems unlikely.
but thanks for your concern, it means a lot.
WishingICould
Well-known member
Aw, sorry to hear that.What's wrong?
Just having a bad day i guess. I've got a week off work and so far i've done nothing productive. I'm just bored of my boring life.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I feel like that too, so you're not alone, there.
Anyway, hope ya feel better soon. :thumbup:
anomicdeer
Well-known member
Single now...
Doesn't feel any different...
That says something.
Doesn't feel any different...
That says something.
WishingICould
Well-known member
InvisaLady
Well-known member
Pretty darn bad. My 93 year old grandmother passed away this morning, the only men I can find that want to go out with me are the ones who only want FWB and the EX who said "never contact me again" actually spoke to me today.
anomicdeer
Well-known member
...
Should not be contacted ever again.
Should not be contacted ever again.
WishingICould
Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandmother. :sad: I know how you feel about the FWB thing. I had the same problem.
Let's say there's a girl named Tara, in her 20s. She's been promoted to executive director of a nonprofit org and suddenly, she's managing all these people who are older than her and have advanced degrees. Tara has no college degree. Tomorrow she is scheduled to meet with an employee who has a an advanced degree and is older and more experienced. She's nervous because she's thinking, "How should I talk to this person? What should I say in my introduction to his person? Should I mention that I'm still in school?" She doesn't want to come off as childish or haughty. She wants to strike a balance in btw.
This pretty much expresses how I feel. I don't feel like going into the details.
This pretty much expresses how I feel. I don't feel like going into the details.
Being single or in a relationship both has it perks. Personally, I think it's great to be single. Enjoy it while it lasts.
anomicdeer
Well-known member
I wanted to be single for a long time. I should have never gotten into a relationship. Now I have the option not do it ever again. I won't do it again.
anomicdeer
Well-known member
Now I'm starting to get that weird feeling.
{can't explain it at all}
{can't explain it at all}
