How are you feeling?

Dinosaur

Dinosaur

Well-known member
JuiceB said:
I hate myself right now. Thought I'd go outside and sit on the porch to get some fresh air. I sit there watching people passing by on their bikes or walking. Some teenage girls are on the corner making a racket. Signs of life all around me, yet I felt like I was dead. My eyes are still watering from this. I started to go for a walk to the nearby park but changed my mind last minute. Wouldn't know what to do once I got there.

Hat to complain and sound like a punk when others are trying hard to help themselves. It seems hard to move when I'm depressed. I guess it helps me a little if I know that someone else knows how I feeling.
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I think we all know how you feel if that is any comfort.
If i go for a walk or ride when i'm feeling like that i listen to music while i'm doing it,seems to get my mind off the negative stuff
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
Currently, somewhat sad and lonely.

The party was ok. I went there, had a chat, had some food. Knew about two thirds of the people there. Even one closer friend of mine, whom I thought wouldn't be there, was there, even if just for a short time. I left after about 90 minutes or two hours. Got some hugs, asked around who shows up at tomorrows movie evening.

Anyway, on the party was someone I didn't know. Which is quite odd. Even in Germanys fourth largest city, the goths normally know each other pretty well. Her, I, and that close friend of mine, had an interesting chat. And just when I wanted to ask her whether she was here just for a visit or studies here in town, she apologized and went over to another group at the party. Oh well...

I guess that just reminds me how lonely I am. Despite that close friend having sent me some sms on how I am and whether I will show up at the next board evening, and another friend warning me that I'll get horrible presents unless I send out some sort of wish list.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
superfluouslyme said:
I had a good first day at work. My worst fear did come true when the first thing they did was put me on the cash register, but I almost always had someone with me for those 5 hours. I think I rang up over 100 people in that time. I had to get used to chitchatting with unfamiliar people again, but that came back pretty easily. The new things that are going to take longer to learn are the phone system (at my old job, if the phone rang you answered it; now there is a page button and a transfer button and an RX button and it's all confusing) and alcohol and cigarettes. I know nothing about cigarettes. Thankfully, most people point to the pack that they want. And with alcohol, the register asks if the person looks older than 40. If so, press yes. If not, press no and ask for their ID. I'm not good at guessing ages. I was pretty lenient today. I "made" a lot of people 40 or older because I didn't quite know, but I was sure that they were well over 21. Weird stuff. I'm exhausted from standing all day, but it's the good kind of tired. It's the accomplished tired. I work a full day tomorrow! But I get to work shipment instead. I bet I'll be even more tired after that.
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^ Glad to hear your first day went well! Hope today went well too!
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
superfluouslyme said:
I had a good first day at work.
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That's great news! :)

superfluouslyme said:
And with alcohol, the register asks if the person looks older than 40. If so, press yes. If not, press no and ask for their ID. I'm not good at guessing ages. I was pretty lenient today. I "made" a lot of people 40 or older because I didn't quite know, but I was sure that they were well over 21.
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I'd be happy if you pushed that "no" button on me! ::p:
 
lonelee1

lonelee1

Well-known member
Horrible. Not many ppl know what its like to have SA. I haven't met anyone that's understood. I'm isolated, alone. Extremely, extremely sad :(
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I feel horrible, but it may be sleep deprivation. These last few days have been hellish, maybe it's because I haven't been going to the gym, or because my sister has been busy and most of the time I was just hanging out with her all day.

I realize right now that I'm the kind of person who loves people so much, that I feel complete alone when I'm not with somebody else. If I'm ever alone for more than 24 hours, I have horrible feelings of deperate loneliness. :/ I just want to be out with people and never leave them. This feels like the worst feeling in the world, to have social anxiety and apparently be a person with attachment issues who never ever wants to be alone o______o RANTTTTTTTTTTTTT... But I'll be alright, the world supplies all you need... There are just going to be moments you are not proud of when climbing out of a hole, and I guess this is one of em.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
EscapeArtist said:
I feel horrible, but it may be sleep deprivation. These last few days have been hellish, maybe it's because I haven't been going to the gym, or because my sister has been busy and most of the time I was just hanging out with her all day.

I realize right now that I'm the kind of person who loves people so much, that I feel complete alone when I'm not with somebody else. If I'm ever alone for more than 24 hours, I have horrible feelings of deperate loneliness. :/ I just want to be out with people and never leave them. This feels like the worst feeling in the world, to have social anxiety and apparently be a person with attachment issues who never ever wants to be alone o______o RANTTTTTTTTTTTTT... But I'll be alright, the world supplies all you need... There are just going to be moments you are not proud of when climbing out of a hole, and I guess this is one of em.
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Hang in there Escape. I really hope you feel better soon and you definitely deserve it.
lonelee1 said:
Horrible. Not many ppl know what its like to have SA. I haven't met anyone that's understood. I'm isolated, alone. Extremely, extremely sad :(
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I'm sorry, I can totally relate though. But you're not alone here, all of us are here for you and my inbox is always open if you ever want to talk.
 
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Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Depressed as f**k! But I, honestly, have absolutely no f**kin' idea why. ::(:
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That's not good. Anything bothering you? Hang in there Graeme.
superfluouslyme said:
I had a good first day at work. My worst fear did come true when the first thing they did was put me on the cash register, but I almost always had someone with me for those 5 hours. I think I rang up over 100 people in that time. I had to get used to chitchatting with unfamiliar people again, but that came back pretty easily. The new things that are going to take longer to learn are the phone system (at my old job, if the phone rang you answered it; now there is a page button and a transfer button and an RX button and it's all confusing) and alcohol and cigarettes. I know nothing about cigarettes. Thankfully, most people point to the pack that they want. And with alcohol, the register asks if the person looks older than 40. If so, press yes. If not, press no and ask for their ID. I'm not good at guessing ages. I was pretty lenient today. I "made" a lot of people 40 or older because I didn't quite know, but I was sure that they were well over 21. Weird stuff. I'm exhausted from standing all day, but it's the good kind of tired. It's the accomplished tired. I work a full day tomorrow! But I get to work shipment instead. I bet I'll be even more tired after that.
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That's awesome! I'm glad its all going well.
JuiceB said:
I hate myself right now. Thought I'd go outside and sit on the porch to get some fresh air. I sit there watching people passing by on their bikes or walking. Some teenage girls are on the corner making a racket. Signs of life all around me, yet I felt like I was dead. My eyes are still watering from this. I started to go for a walk to the nearby park but changed my mind last minute. Wouldn't know what to do once I got there.

Hat to complain and sound like a punk when others are trying hard to help themselves. It seems hard to move when I'm depressed. I guess it helps me a little if I know that someone else knows how I feeling.
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I'm really sorry, I hope you feel better soon.
((hugs))
 
T

TheTemp

Well-known member
Bad. My parents have been giving me a very hard time lately. Had lunch with them today, my dad didn't say a word to me and my mom was giving me dirty looks and criticizing me the whole time. She showed me a picture of myself during prom and basically told me I've changed and I'm not happy anymore, it made me cry. I can't help who I am now, I want to be happy but it's hard to when you feel that there's so much wrong with you. ::(:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well that random thought which assumed I was depressed has gave way tae depression. Thanks sis!

"You look depressed. Are ye awright?"
"Aye"
Are ye sure now?
".... (sigh)"

That f**kin' pisses me off!

Well, excuse the f**k outta me fur havin' a face that doesnae smile that often. In case ye hadn't f**kin' am doin' something on ma laptop that requires concentration. Now... get tae f**k!

 
N

Nathália

Well-known member
Scared and almost lost my breakfast this morning because I received an email from a person that I thought I blocked. He's getting on my last nerves. Get over it, you lost a good thing, this is the 2nd time he's done this and I haven't talked to him in 7 months. It's coming to the point where it's freaking me out. Pathetic. I was feeling great because I had a great day yesterday with my mother and sister until this morning when I clicked and opened that up. Sigh. I really don't want to go to that point with someone, it upsetting and it makes me sick.
 
A

Amitush123

Well-known member
Beleza said:
Scared and almost lost my breakfast this morning because I received an email from a person that I thought I blocked. He's getting on my last nerves. Get over it, you lost a good thing, this is the 2nd time he's done this and I haven't talked to him in 7 months. It's coming to the point where it's freaking me out. Pathetic. I was feeling great because I had a great day yesterday with my mother and sister until this morning when I clicked and opened that up. Sigh. I really don't want to go to that point with someone, it upsetting and it makes me sick.
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As long as you keep him in your past, he cannot hurt you
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
I feel sad.. everything is making me so sad, thinking about the world and the cruelty of it, so much pain. Which people and animals and plants have to undergo WHAT FOR. And if people at least have some chance to come to heaven for their good deeds (allegedly), what about animals then. It makes no sense. What made me angry today is reading about idiots like Descartes and some stupid catholic priests, who teach animals have no soul and are only objects which don´t feel no pain. These people are no philosophers or spiritual people, they are disgusting deviants who belong behind the bars - if not to hell to be tortured so that they changed their stupid mind.
So I don´t know if I come to heaven if I behave right or have empathy, but I don´t care about rewards, I still think empathy and nonviolence IS more important than anything, so I don´t need religion or some twisted reasoning of so called philosophers. Of what use is a philosophy, if it´s done with brain only, but without heart?? I wish these people were only a rare occurence, but there are SO MANY thinking alike them, it makes me want to vomit and die because I don´t want to live with them on the same planet.

I feel like in a bad dream that I can´t manage to wake up from.. I´m drowning in my mind, I´m trying not to but I don´t have anything to catch on.. Being alone and without job is getting on the brain.
 
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