How are you feeling?

[Dinosaur]

Surprised. I made it through the 21st (a sad anniversary) without going to pieces. Espeially since new neighbours having a party next door all night 20th ( still goin on the 21st when I left for college) made sure I got no sleep at all. I actually functioned, on the 21st, without sleep. This is the first year I've been able to do this. This is a big deal to me especially since last September I had a complete breakdown. I think this is progress.

Great to hear Well done on going forward

 

[Dinosaur]

I had a pretty good day My first run in the top team in bowls and i did ok(lame i know but its what keeps me going) Altho the socializing after it was just the same-just sitting there saying nothing and feeling like an idiot but i think they are used to it now!
But drinking in the sun has made me tired

 

[Starry]

Well what do you expect living in England!!! Joking

Well it's true!

I really did do the dance by the way... And felt warmer for it. So I'm no longer cold! ^_^

Also, well done in bowls. Sorry about the socialisation and the tiredness, though.

 

[Dinosaur]

Well it's true!

I really did do the dance by the way... And felt warmer for it. So I'm no longer cold! ^_^

Also, well done in bowls. Sorry about the socialisation and the tiredness, though.

Hehehehe,that would be a funny dance to see

 

[Facethefear]

like i'm trying to hold it all in. pressure is rising and leaks are springing. when is it going to finally collapse? is this strength? is this weakness?

This doesn't sound good Dottie. You don't have to hold it in so release the pressure. I read your posts and know you are a kind person who gives good advice. What can I do to help?

 

[mikebird]

Today

Something to get me out of the house on a Saturday. Sometimes there is some entertainment in the town centre. Live brass band (charity) or guitars & mic, etc... I should go more.

This time, yet another 'start a business' event at a temp, disused shop. As soon as I saw this flyer a month ago, I knew it was pointless and meaningless, giving advice on how to start your family business. They had crowds of pushchairs and Mum & Dad at each table. As each set walked bast the windows, a really noisy woman chased them, shouting "do you want to start your own business?" They all just ran away. What a crucial buzzword!! Business! Whoooaahhh! A word I've never heard of...

I was there for a little bit of people practice. They got me to sign in the visitors' book. Two big burly gents approached me. It was obvious instantly that they'd look down at me, frowning. I described an imaginary business... the same, always reaction to anyone! British citizen. My word opens. Words from the English dictionary come out! I'm a scary alien!

They gave me a piece of paper.

On my way out, the loud woman chased me and gave me her business card. Screaming. I say words. Sensible sentences. What does it take? I ask about what they do. I can pretend to smile. Plenty to say. I listen. What is this? There is nothing wrong with me. I'm polite. Well dressed. All I wanted to find out is "what do you expect people to say people to say when they come here?"

Does anyone ever get this scenario? I'm just practicing speaking.

I was completely prepared & ready for exactly this to happen. Uh.. yeah. We all did shake hands. I guess we didn't have to go through the "how are you?" They mumbled scrambled rubbish to me. I beamed. I said "Great! OK! Thanks!" I just get a back turned on me.

As for practice, excited about a hi-fi shop wanting someone to sell hi-fi kit to customers. Responding to the ad by email, it took a few days to get a response. I said I know what every component unit does and who to connect it to another. Apparently all staff are trained. Another got the job because they have more retail experience. I just want to understand this people, human society thing. I intend to go the the shop and ask advice from the person who got the hi-fi job. I'm sure only negative things will happen.

What is needed to speak to people? Is a retail job difficult? I can't think beyond "hello" will secure a sale

 

[JuiceB]

I woke up this morning with a fat headache.

 

[Amitush123]

I woke up this morning with a fat headache.

Too much alcohol last night? ^^

 

[JuiceB]

Too much alcohol last night? ^^

No I didn't drink anything. Maybe it's because I'm a little dehydrated at the moment.

 

[lilmutegirl]

Anxious and a little annoyed. I have a lot to do in the next 3 hours before picking my kid up from my ex. The ex just texted me that he doesn't appreciate the way my bf talks to my son (he jokes about being fat). Sadly, I actually agree with my ex, but don't know how to tell my bf. Generally, he's a great guy, but sometimes I think he doesn't realize that what he says and does around my son affects him differently than adults. I hope that telling my bf that my son will tell my ex what he says and does will be sufficient.

 

[dottie]

facethefear, thank you. it makes me feel better just knowing that there's someone out there. everyone feels like this sometimes, i guess.

 

[dottie]

@mikebird it is allowing yourself to be fake and not beating yourself up for it (or over analyzing it). in retail, say the basics... "hi, how are you today? is there anything i can help you find?" the rest is being knowledgeable about the product and being able to spew it out. even if the details aren't important to that person, it will make them feel more confident that they are in good hands. so, it is a combination of being able to "make nice" and being knowledgeable. don't analyze it like rocket science, just fake it.

 

[Swifty]

I was riding on my bicycle and the weather was cold and quiet. It felt really good, knowing that autumn is starting.

 

[coyote]

...What is needed to speak to people? Is a retail job difficult? I can't think beyond "hello" will secure a sale

@mikebird it is allowing yourself to be fake and not beating yourself up for it (or over analyzing it). in retail, say the basics... "hi, how are you today? is there anything i can help you find?" the rest is being knowledgeable about the product and being able to spew it out. even if the details aren't important to that person, it will make them feel more confident that they are in good hands. so, it is a combination of being able to "make nice" and being knowledgeable. don't analyze it like rocket science, just fake it.

i would add that you don't even need to be fake - just be friendly and helpful

smile, say hello, offer to help them, be pleasant, be genuine - people respond to that

you can't get someone to buy something unless they already want to - and if you do, the customer will resent it and hold it against you and your store, so you end up losing in the long run

you're just helping them buy stuff that they choose to buy and creating a nice, memorable experience for them so that they will be sure to come back the next time they want to buy something

people can sense "fake" and it usually works against you - most people don't like being schmoozed unless they're the type that goes shopping to get off on having people kiss their ass and make them feel important - dealing with them is difficult for anyone, even the most experienced salesperson

 

[dottie]

@coyote true... but when you are someone who's not typically verbose, pushing yourself to say anything feels fake.

 

[coyote]

@coyote true... but when you are someone who's not typically verbose, pushing yourself to say anything feels fake.

yeah, i can understand that

i guess i mean to try to tap into sincere feelings of friendliness, and express them in an a genuine way - even though that feels foreign to you

sincerity - no matter how expressed - always wins over artificiality

working in retail is actually great practice for developing social skills, because you're in a totally safe environment - you're not trying to establish a deep personal relationship with the customer, and you can play the role of "salesperson" without having to expose yourself personally

as you get you used to being friendly and interacting with people, it becomes easier, and you may soon find it easier to do the same in your personal life

at least that's what i've found has happened for me

 

[JuiceB]

I hate myself right now. Thought I'd go outside and sit on the porch to get some fresh air. I sit there watching people passing by on their bikes or walking. Some teenage girls are on the corner making a racket. Signs of life all around me, yet I felt like I was dead. My eyes are still watering from this. I started to go for a walk to the nearby park but changed my mind last minute. Wouldn't know what to do once I got there.

Hat to complain and sound like a punk when others are trying hard to help themselves. It seems hard to move when I'm depressed. I guess it helps me a little if I know that someone else knows how I feeling.

 

[Amitush123]

I hate myself right now. Thought I'd go outside and sit on the porch to get some fresh air. I sit there watching people passing by on their bikes or walking. Some teenage girls are on the corner making a racket. Signs of life all around me, yet I felt like I was dead. My eyes are still watering from this. I started to go for a walk to the nearby park but changed my mind last minute. Wouldn't know what to do once I got there.

Hat to complain and sound like a punk when others are trying hard to help themselves. It seems hard to move when I'm depressed. I guess it helps me a little if I know that someone else knows how I feeling.

I know how you feel, everyone is going somewhere, have purpose, while we drift aimlessly to nowhere..
Try going out for walks, will improve your health & you will get to see other people..plus the fresh air..

 

[Graeme1988]

Depressed as f**k! But I, honestly, have absolutely no f**kin' idea why. ::

 

[Dinosaur]

Depressed as f**k! But I, honestly, have absolutely no f**kin' idea why. ::

It sucks feeling like that and not knowing why,stay strong buddy