I feel frustrated. Every friend I had in rl is now gone, I can never hang on to people, not even my family. I fear that everyone somehow is going to run away from me some day. I eventually will have to live on my own, so I can just see myself alone in darkness a few years from now, wasting my life even more. I have a feeling that people like to run away from me. Whatever being "different" means...I don't want to be it anymore, I want to enjoy something for once.