How are you feeling?

[Falkor]

I feel so horrible...
Low self worth, feel self destructive.
Pushing away friends.
Ashamed of what I am.
I'm failing school AGAIN. a course i've taken 3 times. simply because I don't care about anything except not feeling horrible.
Honestly feel like drugs would be a nice thing for a change. But I doubt i'd take action on that...

I'm so sorry Escape Artist, please don't do drugs, well maybe some anti depressants but not REAL drugs it would effect you even worse sweety. and being self destructive isn't a nice thing, you know that your journal is really amazing on here, please keep writing there, maybe it helps to get comments from ppl here and to just write it off. you can write girl. really. and pushing away friends, well, you can explain to them how you feel, they shud understand when their true friends then they wouldnt mind and ya might talk to them about the situation whats going on tru your mind. maybe you have to find some confident boost, get back to a hobby you liked, doing something new, why do you feel so horrible , only about school , perhaps other stuff, you should write it down and clarify, how to help yourself get more at ease, and it's not the end of the world to fail at school, it happens to thousands of people in the world.. just like you, even if they try their best, so hard. it is sad, but you shouldnt sink into the sadness, maybe another scholarship would help, you also can find new place new people and new opportunities

Hugz, please be true to yourself

 

[Srijita52]

There's not much that isn't wrong with me. I'm fat, ugly, stupid. I have no social skills. Add it all up and you've got someone who is destined to be alone forever. All I want is someone to love me, but I don't think there's anyone out there for me.

I'm sorry to hear that. But I hope there's someone out there for you, you don't deserve to be alone, no one does. Loneliness is something I deal with too and its very painful.

 

[Srijita52]

Feeling very empty and I have absolutely no idea why.

I hope you feel better soon

 

[O'Killian]

I hate to prattle on about how positive I'm feeling, but I just feel if I don't say it somewhere, I'll burst.

Feeling absolutely giddy. Yesterday I let my stupid monkey brain get the better of me and was worrying way too much about the fact that the girl I've been chatting with wasn't online all day despite saying she had nothing to do (and I'd observed her being online earlier on other days). Knew it was a bad idea to be getting worked up about it but that only worried me more, heh.

Wound up more-or-less getting over it and was composing a long message to her when she logged onto the IM program we've been using. It was a bit awkward at first because we were talking about fairly personal things (long story as to why), but we got to talking about creative writing and I mentioned offhand a program I've been using for years. There was a miracle and she's ridiculously into it, too, and the metaphorical walls just came straight down. We talked until midnight.

At the very least, I've got a new Internet friend to geek out with, and if things move past that, well, I wouldn't have words for it.

 

[superfluouslyme]

^ Good for you! Be as giddy as you want to be!!

There's not much that isn't wrong with me. I'm fat, ugly, stupid. I have no social skills. Add it all up and you've got someone who is destined to be alone forever. All I want is someone to love me, but I don't think there's anyone out there for me.

It's a horrible feeling, isn't it? Luckily, you are surrounded by a bunch of people who have similar feelings and thoughts. I don't know you from Adam (or Eve ), but I think there is someone for everyone. I'm still waiting, too. I suppose I could be a bit more proactive about it. My mom swears by exercise. So I've been walking a lot lately and it actually makes me feel better. It gets all those endorphins going. I'm not sure that I've lost any weight, but I feel more confident.

I have found something that people do at 7AM. I'm compiling a list of songs I've posted in the "favorite music" thread, much like VJ did a while ago. There are 8 pages of songs. Good grief! I'll post my final tally later. ::

 

[Srijita52]

I hate to prattle on about how positive I'm feeling, but I just feel if I don't say it somewhere, I'll burst.

Feeling absolutely giddy. Yesterday I let my stupid monkey brain get the better of me and was worrying way too much about the fact that the girl I've been chatting with wasn't online all day despite saying she had nothing to do (and I'd observed her being online earlier on other days). Knew it was a bad idea to be getting worked up about it but that only worried me more, heh.

Wound up more-or-less getting over it and was composing a long message to her when she logged onto the IM program we've been using. It was a bit awkward at first because we were talking about fairly personal things (long story as to why), but we got to talking about creative writing and I mentioned offhand a program I've been using for years. There was a miracle and she's ridiculously into it, too, and the metaphorical walls just came straight down. We talked until midnight.

At the very least, I've got a new Internet friend to geek out with, and if things move past that, well, I wouldn't have words for it.

Wow that's really great!!

 

[pop-princess]

I hope you feel better soon

Thank you Srijita

 

[Falkor]

Feeling very empty and I have absolutely no idea why.

Sorry to hear, It is not a fun feeling, hope it will dissapear soon and you'll have a smile on your face or a laughter so you don't have those empty emotions. I guess when ppl don't do stuff for a while, their emotions get so neutral that they just need different feelings, so they want to seek for fun but they can't find it, so they notice ''being empty'' . I think we just need a change then, a little laughter or a friend texting or a nice song, try anything that helps.

 

[Graeme1988]

Maybe they are, you being happy atleast for some while is a good thing. I hope your happiness returns again.

Yeah, I guess. I just hate the sudden changes in mood I've been feeling lately. I hope I get back to being happy soon. These prolonged periods of depression are starting make me really apathetic about everything.

 

[Graeme1988]

Any idea what caused it? Or is it just one of those feelings that you can't quite figure out? ::

It was probably the condescending, sarcastic remark my oldest sister made yesterday evening, feeling "sorry" for me. No-one in my family really take my SA and depression issues seriously anymore, so I've just stopped mentioning or talking about them.

 

[Srijita52]

Well, I feel rubbish still. My anxiety has been very high today and I've felt really sick. Going to go round my friend's house in a bit and try and put on a brave face.

Days like this I really feel like I need a cigarette :\ I won't though. I gave up long ago.

So - things are rubbish right now, but I'm trying to think of it as a lesson, or a vaccination - injecting me with a dose of a particular pain so that my body can create the antibodies that will protect me from the same problem in the future. I'll learn from this.

I believe this is a sign that I need to make a change, just like it was all the previous times.
Once things collapse and all the debris has been swept away you have the space to build something new.

edit: sorry if this all sounds terribly melodramatic. thinking aloud again.

It doesn't sound melodramatic at all. Its indeed a lesson for you to gain something better. I really love your positive attitude. Also I hope you feel better soon *hugs*

 

[Graeme1988]

I just want to be left alone. :: I wish people would stop forcing me to do stuff, which I have little or no interest in. No matter how good their intentions are. But no-one gives a f*** what I have to say anymore. Can't say "No" because I always end up seeming like an ungrateful prick.

 

[MikeyC]

Feeling very empty and I have absolutely no idea why.

It's worst when you don't know why it's happening. *hugs*

Well, I feel rubbish still. My anxiety has been very high today and I've felt really sick. Going to go round my friend's house in a bit and try and put on a brave face.

Days like this I really feel like I need a cigarette :\ I won't though. I gave up long ago.

So - things are rubbish right now, but I'm trying to think of it as a lesson, or a vaccination - injecting me with a dose of a particular pain so that my body can create the antibodies that will protect me from the same problem in the future. I'll learn from this.

I believe this is a sign that I need to make a change, just like it was all the previous times.
Once things collapse and all the debris has been swept away you have the space to build something new.

edit: sorry if this all sounds terribly melodramatic. thinking aloud again.

Aw. :: Sorry to hear that things are rubbish. From past experience, you seen to know what to do to change it, and I hope you can make it happen. You deserve to be happy. Good luck at your friend's place.

 

[Gaucho]

mehhh, lonely, but don't feel as miserable as many usually.

 

[lonely_drummer]

Still in the hospital from my seizures on Friday. I've been cleared of any brain tumors. I just have too much of the CK enzyme that got released into my system when I dislocated my shoulders. It's really bad for my kidneys so they got me peeing 10 liters a day. I dunno I'm really scared and don't know what to do

 

[Phoenixx]

Slightly anxious. I have to do a faux job interview for my Job Strategies class tomorrow, since that's our final. Ugh, I don't want to do this! >.< I think the fact that it's for a grade rather than a real job makes me more anxious.

My last actual job interview, which was 2 years ago, really wasn't too bad. I was nervous, but manageable. Deep down I knew right then and there though that my boss was a douche, since he actually interrupted me as I was trying to explain myself. I don't remember what he asked me, but he was reading my application at the same time as I was explaining myself and answering his question and then he just basically tells me to "Shh." -.- Freaking idiot. I still got the job, but it was a living hell. I didn't last 3 months before I quit because I couldn't stand him anymore.

^ Why I just rambled about that now I don't know.

 

[coyote]

Still in the hospital from my seizures on Friday. I've been cleared of any brain tumors. I just have too much of the CK enzyme that got released into my system when I dislocated my shoulders. It's really bad for my kidneys so they got me peeing 10 liters a day. I dunno I'm really scared and don't know what to do

drink loads of beer - you can pee alot that way

(seriously, i hope they figure out what happened)

 

[BlackPuma]

Still in the hospital from my seizures on Friday. I've been cleared of any brain tumors. I just have too much of the CK enzyme that got released into my system when I dislocated my shoulders. It's really bad for my kidneys so they got me peeing 10 liters a day. I dunno I'm really scared and don't know what to do

Take comfort in the fact that the doctors know what they're doing, and apply what they know to help you. We're here for you, man.

 

[Nathália]

I need to get up off my bumba .* I just searched bumba and it means some African vomit God*African Mythology : Gods, Goddesses, Spirits, Legends from Africa ......Interesting

I was just talking about my derriere. I've been soaking in my sorrows for the past week because I want things to change and feel like it's going to be forever before they do. -_-.....

 

[Nathália]

I can't wait until you get better Lonely Drummer. Sorry man...