How are you feeling?

[DeadmanWalking]

Unfortunately not, eh?
Even after years of crying myself to sleep, I still cry all the time for no reason at all. I used to avoid drinking anything and become dehydrated in hopes that I would be able to just stop crying.

Oh Weirdy::. Please don't feel bad about crying. There's nothing wrong with it. There's something that you're unhappy with, so you have reason to cry. I hope that you and BlueDays feel better.

 

[Roman Legion]

I am just furious today and mad at the world.. Why can't the world just die already?! Seriously, people really get on my nerves.. I don't think I am going to show up for next drill, I hate the Army so much.. They constantly screw me over and I literally cannot confront them about it as nothing comes out.. UGH!!

 

[superfluouslyme]

Doctor who?

Wait....

I crack myself up!

Our cat is doing pretty well so far. She eats and drinks and she'll play for a little bit. She sleeps a bit more, but that is to be expected. I just hope I don't get used to it.

 

[MikeyC]

I am just furious today and mad at the world.. Why can't the world just die already?! Seriously, people really get on my nerves.. I don't think I am going to show up for next drill, I hate the Army so much.. They constantly screw me over and I literally cannot confront them about it as nothing comes out.. UGH!!

You're in the army? Wow, that's actually quite an achievement for someone with SA. Well done.

Our cat is doing pretty well so far. She eats and drinks and she'll play for a little bit. She sleeps a bit more, but that is to be expected. I just hope I don't get used to it.

Yeah, don't get used to it... ::

Came back from the hospital, and my grandmother has no idea what's going on. She asked us why there were other people in her room, and we told her they've been there since she's been there. She asked me about an invitation on the wall, when it was just a sign for the staff. She was out of it today. Her deterioration makes me sad and makes me anxious, especially standing in the hospital when other patients just stare at you. I was glad to get out of there, but yeah, she's in a bad way.

 

[Roman Legion]

You're in the army? Wow, that's actually quite an achievement for someone with SA. Well done.

I'm only a reservist.. I only do that once a month.. Ever since I sustained damage to both knees and I limp around (Because they don't care and won't get me medical attention..) I have stood out more, every few minutes every month, everyone asks me if I am alright and what happened.. I just point at my knees and keep limping along.. The SAME people ask me the exact SAME questions every single month.. I didn't even want to join the military, but it was that or get kicked out by my parents and be homeless.. I'm going to try and get my SM officially recognized. But today, I just wish the world would die as much as it has made me inside.. Is it just me or is blinding rage more dominant than anxiety that causes muteness? I have been getting screwed over by them for years and it takes a LOT to make me angry, let alone rage. At least my anxiety wasn't so high due to my rage..

 

[superfluouslyme]

You're in the army? Wow, that's actually quite an achievement for someone with SA. Well done.


Yeah, don't get used to it... ::

Came back from the hospital, and my grandmother has no idea what's going on. She asked us why there were other people in her room, and we told her they've been there since she's been there. She asked me about an invitation on the wall, when it was just a sign for the staff. She was out of it today. Her deterioration makes me sad and makes me anxious, especially standing in the hospital when other patients just stare at you. I was glad to get out of there, but yeah, she's in a bad way.

I'm sorry to hear that. ::

 

[MikeyC]

I'm only a reservist.. I only do that once a month.. Ever since I sustained damage to both knees and I limp around (Because they don't care and won't get me medical attention..) I have stood out more, every few minutes every month, everyone asks me if I am alright and what happened.. I just point at my knees and keep limping along.. The SAME people ask me the exact SAME questions every single month.. I didn't even want to join the military, but it was that or get kicked out by my parents and be homeless.. I'm going to try and get my SM officially recognized. But today, I just wish the world would die as much as it has made me inside.. Is it just me or is blinding rage more dominant than anxiety that causes muteness? I have been getting screwed over by them for years and it takes a LOT to make me angry, let alone rage. At least my anxiety wasn't so high due to my rage..

Sorry to hear about your knees but you seem to have a lot of bitterness towards people, which is probably not helping your mutism.

I'm sorry to hear that. ::

Thank you. It's tough but SPW, music, and chocolate gets me by.

 

[Shyangel]

Came back from the hospital, and my grandmother has no idea what's going on. She asked us why there were other people in her room, and we told her they've been there since she's been there. She asked me about an invitation on the wall, when it was just a sign for the staff. She was out of it today. Her deterioration makes me sad and makes me anxious, especially standing in the hospital when other patients just stare at you. I was glad to get out of there, but yeah, she's in a bad way.

I'm very sorry to hear that, Mikey. It's rough seeing people you know go through that no matter what. I hope she'll feel better soon.

It's been a little while, Mikey. I hope things have been well.


How I'm feeling.....

I'm feeling kinda badly because that guy I went on a date with is giving me mixed messages. When were together he's nice and complimenting. He says he enjoys being around me. When were apart, he's a bit different. When he comes on Facebook he wont message me. I'll message him and he'l either not message me or sign off. This has happened several times now so I seriously doubt it's a coincidence. When we do have a conversation he takes a while to answer and he seems uncaring...It's really not important, but it just is driving me crazy. I don't have alot to do with my time so I spend alot of time obsessing over what he thinks of me...I don't know why, because I don't have feelings for him. I just have fun with him.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm very sorry to hear that, Mikey. It's rough seeing people you know go through that no matter what. I hope she'll feel better soon.

It's been a little while, Mikey. I hope things have been well.

She will feel better when her leg's amputated.

I'm doing okay for now. Thank you for asking.

I'm feeling kinda badly because that guy I went on a date with is giving me mixed messages. When were together he's nice and complimenting. He says he enjoys being around me. When were apart, he's a bit different. When he comes on Facebook he wont message me. I'll message him and he'l either not message me or sign off. This has happened several times now so I seriously doubt it's a coincidence. When we do have a conversation he takes a while to answer and he seems uncaring...It's really not important, but it just is driving me crazy. I don't have alot to do with my time so I spend alot of time obsessing over what he thinks of me...I don't know why, because I don't have feelings for him. I just have fun with him.

Maybe deep down you do have some feelings for him. His avoidance isn't really acceptable and I hope you don't get your emotions crushed because of that. To be honest girls do that to me, too, and it never gets any easier so don't let it happen to you. You deserve better than that.

But, maybe something's up. Have you tried asking him directly?

 

[Roman Legion]

Sorry to hear about your knees but you seem to have a lot of bitterness towards people, which is probably not helping your mutism./QUOTE]

I spent my childhood in a home where we never really saw eachother or talked.. When we did see eachother, feelings were never really shared. We moved a lot and I could never get my words to come out, despite wanting to talk then. At that age, I mainly got made fun of.. Starting in 1996 or 1997 the physical bullying started and everyone I recall at least bullied me vocally.. But the physical bullies came in quite large groups and nobody seemed to care or stop it.. I remember how those kids were all cheering on the bullies.. This went on for years, until we moved far away to a rural area, then everyone avoided me because I was an outsider, an unknown.. That was not the end of the physical bullying, but it was smaller groups. But everywhere I have ever been, people are always the same.. It is hard to tell here, so I cannot say, but in person all I do is observe. I have no issue being SM at all, it has grown to be normal for me.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

that nobody sincerely gives a damn about me. I know this feeling will fade out, but meanwhile it sucks.

 

[MikeyC]

I spent my childhood in a home where we never really saw eachother or talked.. When we did see eachother, feelings were never really shared. We moved a lot and I could never get my words to come out, despite wanting to talk then. At that age, I mainly got made fun of.. Starting in 1996 or 1997 the physical bullying started and everyone I recall at least bullied me vocally.. But the physical bullies came in quite large groups and nobody seemed to care or stop it.. I remember how those kids were all cheering on the bullies.. This went on for years, until we moved far away to a rural area, then everyone avoided me because I was an outsider, an unknown.. That was not the end of the physical bullying, but it was smaller groups. But everywhere I have ever been, people are always the same.. It is hard to tell here, so I cannot say, but in person all I do is observe. I have no issue being SM at all, it has grown to be normal for me.

Bullying is a lot more detrimental to a person's upbringing and psychological health than people are willing to let on. If it there was more awareness back then, you and I would be a lot better mentally.

I'm really sorry all that happened to you, mate.

 

[MikeyC]

that nobody sincerely gives a damn about me. I know this feeling will fade out, but meanwhile it sucks.

I know that feeling. Sorry you're going through it, Dent. ::

 

[Roman Legion]

Bullying is a lot more detrimental to a person's upbringing and psychological health than people are willing to let on. If it there was more awareness back then, you and I would be a lot better mentally.

I'm really sorry all that happened to you, mate.

Like I said in another post, there is more, but I do not and likely will not ever talk about it..

This song pissed me off to this day.. When I lived in PG county, Maryland in 2000, I was one of the VERY few white kids at the school and we were all targeted, but I seemed to get the most of it..

Shake ya Ass - Mystikal ...THE ORIGINAl... - YouTube

They changed the lyrics to be VERY cruel.. I am not going to share their lyrics.. ::

 

[montejocarlo]

I just hope I don't get used to it.

but i think you shouldn't hold back either. when my cat was sick, i spent as much time with him as i could.

my parents always tell me to sleep early but one night, when he was really weak, i stayed up longer than i should to take care of him. i'm glad i did because he died days after. i was sad but it was a lot easier to let go. i knew that i've loved him enough to cover his short lifetime.

Came back from the hospital, and my grandmother has no idea what's going on. She asked us why there were other people in her room, and we told her they've been there since she's been there. She asked me about an invitation on the wall, when it was just a sign for the staff. She was out of it today. Her deterioration makes me sad and makes me anxious, especially standing in the hospital when other patients just stare at you. I was glad to get out of there, but yeah, she's in a bad way.

i hope she gets better soon. so many things we have no control over. and sometimes, all we can do is let the people we love know how much we care.

 

[JonSP]

I'm angry that i've left myself 2 days to start and finish an assignment for university. I'm now awake at nearly 5am because of it. I'll never learn!

 

[MikeyC]

i hope she gets better soon. so many things we have no control over. and sometimes, all we can do is let the people we love know how much we care.

Absolutely, and thank you.

 

[Shyangel]

She will feel better when her leg's amputated.

I'm doing okay for now. Thank you for asking.


Maybe deep down you do have some feelings for him. His avoidance isn't really acceptable and I hope you don't get your emotions crushed because of that. To be honest girls do that to me, too, and it never gets any easier so don't let it happen to you. You deserve better than that.

But, maybe something's up. Have you tried asking him directly?

Hmmm, I guess I do. He says nice things to me and makes me feel a little special. I might have some attachment to him for that reason. I don't think those are healthy reasons, though...He's asked me to be he's girlfriend twice. then he ignores me and doesn't talk to me for days. I don't think that's how you act towards someone if you want a serious relationship....I don't know..I haven't asked him about it. I don't want to seem controlling and needy...What do you mean by, " Don't let it happen to you."?...I keep blaming myself for everything that's going wrong with him. Every time he doesn't answer I blame it on what I said. If he ignores me I blame myself because I'm not interesting to talk to or whatever....He just yesterday called me and said he wanted to hang out soon, but today I signed on Facebook and he signed off as soon as I messaged him.....What should I do?

 

[MikeyC]

Hmmm, I guess I do. He says nice things to me and makes me feel a little special. I might have some attachment to him for that reason. I don't think those are healthy reasons, though...He's asked me to be he's girlfriend twice. then he ignores me and doesn't talk to me for days. I don't think that's how you act towards someone if you want a serious relationship....I don't know..I haven't asked him about it. I don't want to seem controlling and needy...What do you mean by, " Don't let it happen to you."?...I keep blaming myself for everything that's going wrong with him. Every time he doesn't answer I blame it on what I said. If he ignores me I blame myself because I'm not interesting to talk to or whatever....He just yesterday called me and said he wanted to hang out soon, but today I signed on Facebook and he signed off as soon as I messaged him.....What should I do?

He sounds a little flaky, really. Maybe he does really like you but he should not be ignoring you for days on end because that's just going to hurt you in the long run. Asking you to be his girlfriend, then not responding to anything, is not good.

I meant don't let what happened to me happened to you: being strung along and eventually getting hurt. I did that and it sucked. You deserve better.

 

[superfluouslyme]

Re: yeah baby yeah

I am feeling super sexy tonight .

Mmmmmm. And why is that?