How are you feeling?

Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
powerfulthoughts said:
Feeling incredibly incapable. My deep seated fear is driving away any potential at all for any kind of friendships.

I realize that my actions reflect how I internally feel about myself. I think I'm weird, unworthy and beneath others, because that's what I learned in my early childhood. I was taught this, and now I feel stuck with these beliefs and feelings forever, no matter how hard I try to reverse it.

More and more I feel like I don't care about my life. I would think that not caring would help my fear and SA, but it just adds to my misery, because now I feel like apathy is just layering on top of the aforementioned feelings.

It truly sucks to live a life feeling scared and utterly inferior to others, to the point where you cannot function. Add to that, I must use various substances to cover up my internal shame, whether its alcohol, illegal prescription meds, or other shady things. I have come a long way in many ways, but I have a mighty long way to go.

</depressing rant>
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^I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm sure you're not unworthy or beneath others, no one is. There might be weaknesses that you need to work on, but it can get better. I hope things look up for you.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
It's been a pretty crazy few days. Got "hauled-off" (hand-cuffed) to a police station. I has said a few things "of concern" to my parents, so they called the police. Funny thing was, since i couldnt get thru to a crisis-support hotline, i had rang police myself, and were talking to them as they (others) arrived in the car. So i handed them the phone so they could end the call.
And BOY, was i a "slobbering wreck" when they turned up, partly due to talking to sby on the phone (& i'd had a "good amount" of grog).
Once there (took about 1/2 hr or so, long way away), spent a few hours in the cell, shouting & hitting walls for a moment or two! (my wounds are still healing). Then had a chat with the psych nurse in another room. Then bit more cell time, to wait for "my taxi home". I got the guy to drop me off a few kms from home, so i walk the distance (at night), to "clear my head".
I did actually quite "enjoy" all of that tbh, as saw some people, had some councelling, escaped from my place, had an outing, had a decent meal. I one thing that would have made my stay there "perfect" was if i'd gone there 3 days later - as band "Shihad" were "rocking out" at that very polce station, yes police station!! DAMN!!! lol

So for past couple days i have been back on my meds. Feeling very tired, even less energy than usual, but at least my mind has settled-down a fair bit .. mood swings gone, depression gone. So thats something to be thankful for, as things were starting to get "out-of-control" in my head.
It SEEMS to be (imho) that being off my meds has been the main (but not only) cause of my troubles in recent months. I guess now i'll have to try find out what these other factors are, & then maybe try to "tackle" them one by one, if i can.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
thesmallestloser said:
It's been a pretty crazy few days. Got "hauled-off" (hand-cuffed) to a police station. I has said a few things "of concern" to my parents, so they called the police. Funny thing was, since i couldnt get thru to a crisis-support hotline, i had rang police myself, and were talking to them as they (others) arrived in the car. So i handed them the phone so they could end the call.
And BOY, was i a "slobbering wreck" when they turned up, partly due to talking to sby on the phone (& i'd had a "good amount" of grog).
Once there (took about 1/2 hr or so, long way away), spent a few hours in the cell, shouting & hitting walls for a moment or two! (my wounds are still healing). Then had a chat with the psych nurse in another room. Then bit more cell time, to wait for "my taxi home". I got the guy to drop me off a few kms from home, so i walk the distance (at night), to "clear my head".
I did actually quite "enjoy" all of that tbh, as saw some people, had some councelling, escaped from my place, had an outing, had a decent meal. I one thing that would have made my stay there "perfect" was if i'd gone there 3 days later - as band "Shihad" were "rocking out" at that very polce station, yes police station!! DAMN!!! lol

So for past couple days i have been back on my meds. Feeling very tired, even less energy than usual, but at least my mind has settled-down a fair bit .. mood swings gone, depression gone. So thats something to be thankful for, as things were starting to get "out-of-control" in my head.
It SEEMS to be (imho) that being off my meds has been the main (but not only) cause of my troubles in recent months. I guess now i'll have to try find out what these other factors are, & then maybe try to "tackle" them one by one, if i can.
Click to expand...
Whoa, dude. Intense. I'm glad you're feeling better mentally since that.
 
Sephiroth

Sephiroth

Active member
I try to go to the positive side,and lie to myself,like the blind man that says,"we will see"to a blind friend of his...ugh.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
thesmallestloser said:
It's been a pretty crazy few days. Got "hauled-off" (hand-cuffed) to a police station. I has said a few things "of concern" to my parents, so they called the police. Funny thing was, since i couldnt get thru to a crisis-support hotline, i had rang police myself, and were talking to them as they (others) arrived in the car. So i handed them the phone so they could end the call.
And BOY, was i a "slobbering wreck" when they turned up, partly due to talking to sby on the phone (& i'd had a "good amount" of grog).
Once there (took about 1/2 hr or so, long way away), spent a few hours in the cell, shouting & hitting walls for a moment or two! (my wounds are still healing). Then had a chat with the psych nurse in another room. Then bit more cell time, to wait for "my taxi home". I got the guy to drop me off a few kms from home, so i walk the distance (at night), to "clear my head".
I did actually quite "enjoy" all of that tbh, as saw some people, had some councelling, escaped from my place, had an outing, had a decent meal. I one thing that would have made my stay there "perfect" was if i'd gone there 3 days later - as band "Shihad" were "rocking out" at that very polce station, yes police station!! DAMN!!! lol

So for past couple days i have been back on my meds. Feeling very tired, even less energy than usual, but at least my mind has settled-down a fair bit .. mood swings gone, depression gone. So thats something to be thankful for, as things were starting to get "out-of-control" in my head.
It SEEMS to be (imho) that being off my meds has been the main (but not only) cause of my troubles in recent months. I guess now i'll have to try find out what these other factors are, & then maybe try to "tackle" them one by one, if i can.
Click to expand...
Wow that was really crazy. But I'm glad you're feeling better.
Graeme1988 said:
I hate myself, even though I shouldn't.
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I think everyone gets this feeling from time to time(I know I do a lot) But I hope you feel better.
 
montejocarlo

montejocarlo

Well-known member
caught off guard when my cousin suddenly showed up at our doorstep. i hate it when people just come to my house without warning.
 
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