Do you ever wish you could die?

BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
I used to want to die when I was about 12 years of age. But like you, I also didn't want to commit suicide, I didn't know how, and I didn't want my last action on Earth to be a selfish one. I often wished for some kind some mishap in my body that would simply stop it dead in it's tracks.

There's more content to this story, but let's just say that I learned to look further then the wall of my own mind. We're all going to die at some point, so why rush it? There might be suffering in between, but seriously, in terms of natural position on this planet, we have virtually pain free lives. That's not meant condescending, I'm very much part of that party too. For example; Most people go about their life without ever having to spend a night being soaking wet, that kind of fortune is unique to our species (and the ones we domesticate).

It wouldn't be life if there wasn't some kind of suffering at some point. We'd be colorless bags of meat just wasting our short existence away going through the motions.
 
How_slow_the_Wind

How_slow_the_Wind

Well-known member
Sometimes. I think it's more a conceptual desire to kill myself. I don't like innately who I am and the way I behave and sort of understand why other people have an aversion to me. I would never come close to doing it however. I can still find enjoyment in life even if it doesn't involve myself.
 
tucktick

tucktick

Well-known member
Yes, very much so. In fact I'm wishing for it as I type. I feel as if though I'm a defected piece of the human species and my genes are worthless, therefore shouldn't be passed on. Plus, its highly unlikely that I'll ever be able to sustain a relationship in order to get to that point.
 
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ohheybbyitscorixx

Well-known member
I either feel too alive and want to die, or too dead and want to feel alive. Ahh, the complications of my messed up emotions...

I think about suicide once at least every 15 minutes. You should find other people with social phobia to be around...they tend to understand you WAY more than the "average" person without it...
 
gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
I have hope and will of things getting better and that is what I cling on to.

But I can't deny that when I am feeling ultra bad I have visions of falling through a giant paper shredder.
 
jazy

jazy

Active member
Everyday. I tried back in high school by hanging myself but the belt broke and my mom found out and she cried. After that I stopped because of her but I'm tired of living and not a day goes by that I don't think about ending it all.

There is nothing here for me anymore. I have nothing to offer to anything or anyone in this world. I just don't understand why I'm still here?

I wish I could go peacefully in my sleep.

:(
 
Section_31

Section_31

Well-known member
I used to. Yrs ago, i was suicidal. I never came close to going through with it though because truth told i was wayyyyy too chicken.

I find now that a healthy fear of dying is what motivates me sometimes.

That said, i still do think about it.
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
No. These threads really annoy the shyte out of me. Death is not the nice romantic solution to life you see in the movies. The solution to life is living it. Thats what you do. You choose where your life goes. And everything you do contributes to where you go in life. You are not a victim of your life. You are the only one calling the shots in your life. You write your own story.

I went through the resussitation unit over 25 times last year with my condition. I won't give up my life for anything. Aside from witnessing death in the hospital and dodging it several times, I witnessed it at home. I looked after my mum at home when she was a cancer patient and she died on my watch 5.5 years ago. Death is gruesome and excruciating and absolutely devastating.


The only solution to your life is living it. And if your life is hard, then you're doing it right.
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
^ouch, that hurt Jewel.

You are right, occasionally I/we should stop listening to the voices in my/our head.
 
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Section_31

Section_31

Well-known member
My iphone says all evidence to date suggests the meannig of life is chocolate.....

i can live with that.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
^ That's the truth Jewel.

I wish I’d written this. Most of the comments on Youtube songs are forgettable but not this one:

I sat on the edge of the sea, not sure if I wanted to live or die, this song didn’t help, but I listened to it anyway, and I fell for life, after wave, after wave, it said just try, and that’s what I am doing now, just trying, and never saying goodbye.


From the edge of the deep green sea The Cure Wish

I bought the Wish CD by the Cure when I was still walking in pain. The opening guitar riff is a sound that mimicked my knee pain, long drawn out, gnawing and never ending . In about March 2007. I’d been fighting for two years by then. I kept trying and I chose life, wave after wave.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
Jewel said:
No. These threads really annoy the shyte out of me. Death is not the nice romantic solution to life you see in the movies. The solution to life is living it. Thats what you do. You choose where your life goes. And everything you do contributes to where you go in life. You are not a victim of your life. You are the only one calling the shots in your life. You write your own story.

I went through the resussitation unit over 25 times last year with my condition. I won't give up my life for anything. Aside from witnessing death in the hospital and dodging it several times, I witnessed it at home. I looked after my mum at home when she was a cancer patient and she died on my watch 5.5 years ago. Death is gruesome and excruciating and absolutely devastating.


The only solution to your life is living it. And if your life is hard, then you're doing it right.
Click to expand...
Sorry you had to go through all this and I hope one day to get your motivation.
 
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ohheybbyitscorixx

Well-known member
Jewel said:
No. These threads really annoy the shyte out of me. Death is not the nice romantic solution to life you see in the movies. The solution to life is living it. Thats what you do. You choose where your life goes. And everything you do contributes to where you go in life. You are not a victim of your life. You are the only one calling the shots in your life. You write your own story.

I went through the resussitation unit over 25 times last year with my condition. I won't give up my life for anything. Aside from witnessing death in the hospital and dodging it several times, I witnessed it at home. I looked after my mum at home when she was a cancer patient and she died on my watch 5.5 years ago. Death is gruesome and excruciating and absolutely devastating.


The only solution to your life is living it. And if your life is hard, then you're doing it right.
Click to expand...

Ahh, that kind of hurt. I believe humans don't have as much control over their lives as they think. But at the same time, good for your for being able to live your life. I'm sorry you had to witness what you did. I hope it was as painless as it possibly could have been for her.
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
I'm sorry it hurts. I just don't think you're doing yourselves any favours wishing for the end of all possibilities. Use your pain to propell you forward.
 
E

Etbow23

Well-known member
Lately I've been wishing I could die. I had a horrible day. I had a massive fight with my boyfriend, then this terrible presentation... (I posted about that lol...) and now I'm all alone at home, feeling horrible.

I guess my depression comes in waves. One month I'm good, the other month I think about dying. I feel very alone at this very moment.
 
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