Diary/journal thing (can't think of a witty title)

emre43

emre43

Well-known member
I would like to say goodbbye and thank you to all of the people who have been there for me and supported me on this forum. I wish you all the best and hope things get better for you. But I am leaving this forum forever and I won't be coming back.

Some individuals are just making me hurt even more than I am already hurting.
I know that you are just trying to help but it's support that I need not advice.
 
Remus

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
emre43 said:
Some individuals are just making me hurt even more than I am already hurting.
I know that you are just trying to help but it's support that I need not advice.
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You are so wrong, they actually care about you and are trying to give the best advice as they see fit. We are not 'yes men' here though , nobody will tell you what you want to hear. Take heed of some very wise council of mature people who have experienced the ups and downs of life. This is a support forum and like it or not, you are getting support.
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
Emre, please listen to me even though you won't like what I'm going to say. I know what I'm talking about.

You are trying to do what you think it's right but not everytime we thinkg something is right it actually is.

I think the best you can do is nothing. If she wants you, she will come to you. Going for her yourself would be a huge mistake. Leave her alone, she needs to live her own life. Of course you will still think about her all the time, you may even dream about her, that's understandable, but you can't let her know you evern exist. Don't try to talk to her, don't try to approach her. Just disappear from her life. If she wants to know about you, she has the meaning.

Believe me when I tell you I know how hard it is, but even if you can't get over her, you have to leave her alone, it's the best for her.



PS: I can't say I read all the subject, but I think I got the main idea, sorry if I'm wrong.
 
MsBuzzkillington

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
I hope that you come back to the forums and don't leave permanently.

Sometimes the support you want is different from the support you need. Sorry if all of us are saying things that are hurting your feelings or making you feel worse about the situation, that isn't what anyone was trying to do. We just care about you and want you to be in a healthy frame of mind. When you see your friend or someone you care about in a bad situation, you want to help them. It may seem like we aren't being supportive, but we really are just trying to help. Sometimes you can't support someone who might be doing something that isn't going to lead them down a good path.

If you want to try and contact her, then contact her. Send her a letter or something.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
If you're absolutely not coming back, good luck with everything, emre. If you do pursue her, hopefully it ends in a positive way....
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
Frankly I think you're biting off your nose to spite your face here furthermore I can see that you are in fact actually online. I think you should spend some time thinking about the advice you received. Consider that maybe the majority of people aren't out to hurt you and do care. I look forward to your next entry.
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
emre, no one's out here to hurt you. In fact, they're trying to save you from being hurt. You're getting hung up on here, too attached and you don't want to let go. That's understanable, considering your situation. But, you have to let go of her; she told you how she felt, so you've got to accept that fact. It's cruel and hard, but that's the possibility, or fate, of those who pursue a relationship. Things could, and sometimes do, get ugly, but we're willing to risk a few cuts and bruises for them. Sometimes we get a prize for our efforts (a significant other), sometimes we don't. In case we don't, we just have to brush the dirt off our shoulders and patch ourselves up and find a new person we're willing to get hurt for. There are so many other women out there for you to love, don't get too hung up on her. There's too much pain on that path and very little chance of success. Take a break from here if you must and just introspect on what the people here have told you. Don't let your emotions get involved in that introspection; you're being purely logical. But, please, don't leave here until you're ready, okay?
 
emre43

emre43

Well-known member
Hello everyone, I have returned. I just needed time to reflect on all of your comments and take them in. For some reason I am feeling particularly anxious at the moment but I have absolutely no idea why. I wish that I could just turn my anxiety off.
 
emre43

emre43

Well-known member
I'm so disappointed and upset. In October I enquired about volunteering at a local animal rescue centre but they said they were full and that they'll keep my details on file and that I should enquire again in January.

I emailed again on Monday and the lady I was speaking to was asking me questions and I thought things were going well and I was building my hopes up all week. Today I received the following response:

'To be honest I do not think I can take onany more work experience at the moment because I have started lots of young people after Christmas that are doing animal care courses at college. Alongside these people I already have work experience from schools coming at regular intervals as well as longstanding general volunteers. We have to be able to provide adequate supervision and there has also got to be enough work for everyone to do.

I will keep your details on file and if any placements finish I will certainly consider you.'

I have never had a job nor work experience and I keep getting rejected for jobs because of a lack of experience. I was looking forward to getting some work experience here because I love animals and it would have given me an opportunity to meet new people who have similar interests to me. Now, I've just been told that they will consider me, if a placement finishes.'

She must have known that this was the situation before asking me all of these questions. She led me down the garden path - I feel gutted ::(:
 
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emre43

emre43

Well-known member
Every one of my family member's who were alive when I was born are still alive now. However, my grandad who I have mentioned above has been hospitalised for the last two months and the doctors say he hasn't got long left. I visited him today and he is a state. He kept asking for a pen to write us cheques (he did the same yesterday) and insists that he has won the lottery! He doesn't even have the strength to lift the pen and he keeps rubbing his head, they think he has suffered a stroke. It was horrible to see him like this because he has always had the ability to make me laugh and he's not the jovial figure that he usually is. I don't know how to deal with death and I really don't want to attend the funeral but I know that I have to.

I saw my counsellor earlier today but when I got back I heard the news that my grandad didn't have long left. It's another two weeks before I can discuss things with her again
 
emre43

emre43

Well-known member
I am feeling so depressed today and for the first time ever earlier I had thoughts that things would be easier if I wasn't alive (I don't want these thoughts because I want to fight for a better life). I have had social anxiety for as long as I can remember (I'm 22 now). For this reason I have never had a girlfriend. I have also never had a job and I still live with my parents and they do everything for me. I don't have the energy to do anything and just watch TV, play video games or paint. I have an anxiety of leaving home because I have no idea how to look after myself and I don't have the energy to do laundry, cook, do the shopping, etc. Nor do I know how to either cook or do the laundry. I am learning to drive but don't look forward to it because I hate socialising. I have also just been offered a placement. I will be helping out at a local animal rescue centre every Monday up until late June; I don't have the energy to be doing that either. I feel tired all the time. I am trying so hard to find a job but it's such a difficult climate nowadays. I don't know how to budget myself in terms of paying bills, etc. This is an incredibly embarassing thing to admit, sepecially at my age, but I have had neither a libido nor an erection for four years. When I am out I just want to get back home as soon as possible. I'm also not sure how I can balance a 9-5 job, housework, keeping a potential girlfriend happy and doing things that I like to do. I feel sleepy and yawn all day and I want to go to bed right now. Life is so tough...
 
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R

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
If you haven't already, it might not be a bad idea to go and see your doctor. The fact that your depression is manifesting these physical symptoms is a little worrying.

The stuff about not knowing how to do things for yourself...nobody does until they have to do it for the first time. When you do start living by yourself you'll probably be surprised at how easily you manage to deal with things which seem impossible to you right now.
 
G

gazelle

Well-known member
emre43 said:
I've already seen my doctor several times about things but nothing seems to help.
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I'd suggest that you try changing your doctor,finding the right doctor can sometimes be very difficult. I've heard many cases of doctors simply overlooking telltale signs of certain illnesses and not giving the proper tests to their patients.Having a low libido and not enough energy to do your daily chores isn't something that should be simply ignored.Being a low energy sufferer myself I've done lots of research on the possible causes and it wasn't until I pinpointed a specific test to my doctor that the main cause of my low energy levels was revealed.I think it's more likely that your depression might be a side effect of a physical condition that your doctor hasn't yet diagnosed.
 
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emre43

emre43

Well-known member
gazelle said:
I'd suggest that you try changing your doctor,finding the right doctor can sometimes be very difficult. I've heard many cases of doctors simply overlooking telltale signs of certain illnesses and not giving the proper tests to their patients.Having a low libido and not enough energy to do your daily chores isn't something that should be simply ignored.Being a low energy sufferer myself I've done lots of research on the possible causes and it wasn't until I pinpointed a specific test to my doctor that the main cause of my low energy levels was revealed.I think it's more likely that your depression might be a side effect of a physical condition that your doctor hasn't yet diagnosed.
Click to expand...

You may well be right. I saw an episode of QI in which they explained that nobody knows that they are incompetent until they are told and used the case of a doctor as an example. The story they used was something like this: two doctors get together and one of them says to the other "One of my patients came to see me today and they showed me a lump that they had noticed". The other doctor replied "Oh right, did you do [insert test name] on them". And the other doctor said "No I didn't". So, I agree with you that maybe a different doctor will be better for me.

Since yesterday I found a free online counselling service for residents of the UK. I spoke to a counsellor there who really helped me. She told me to use a notebook to record the progress that I have made and the positive steps that I have made. She also told me to take part in at least 10 minutes of exercise everyday. I told her that maybe I should stop worrying and relax and not expect instant results. I need to relax and take things slowly. I'm not going to worry about things at the moment and enjoy doing things that I like doing. I will attend my pre-placement meeting on Thursday and start attending my placement once a week. In this way I will be making progress and enjoying myself at the same time.

Thanks for your support and care guys. How can I be unhappy when I know that there are decent, understanding people in the world like you. I hope that doesn't sound condescending, as I was typing it I thought it may do but it isn't intended to be.
 
emre43

emre43

Well-known member
Just attended a pre-placement meeting and bloody hell I was nervous. But I got through it and was offered the placement. Starting this Monday I will be looking after rabbits at an animal rescue centre. Quite possibly the least nerve-wracking thing that one can do to gain work experience.
 
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