I can relate so much to all this. I think you are a really good person. I had a very similar childhood and a similar way of thinking and I can tell you its very rare to find people who think just like that to that extent, especially in the US and UK. I know what its like to find someone who has that depth and understanding that you've been looking for all your life. I met a girl over 10 years ago now that was like that. I was always so shy and never really talked to anyone, not even my family. The first time I talked to her on the phone, we spend over 4 hours. Almost every night after that, we talking into the night, almost until dawn. We connected like no one else did and it was the easiest thing in the world to talk. I had virtually no anxiety around her and that is pretty damn crazy for me.
Honestly, I think much of my anxiety, and I assume yours, is based off having a very different perception of the world to most. I just cannot relate to how most people think, including on this forum. I think being overly sensitive and how you relate to pain makes for a very different person to the western world. You probably saw that in your counselor. That connection you don't get anywhere else.
I don't think there's anything wrong in giving it a really good shot to find her. You are not a stalker and I am betting she will know that. If you can't end up finding her or she doesn't want to pursue, then it might be time in the near future to try to accept it. But whatever the case, you don't have to accept loneliness. Believe it or not, there are people out there like you, like the counselor. It scares me sometimes to realize how hard to is sometimes to find them, but it is possible.
