WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
Gosh, I talk way too much. Sorry, I don't know how to organize my thoughts into more succinct sentences sometimes ::
Sound fine to me, lady~ talk all you want! :
:
Daily Adventures with Weirdy
- Thread starter WeirdyMcGee
- Start date
Sound fine to me, lady~ talk all you want! :
:
MikeyC
Well-known member
It's funny because Kanye West would totally do this. Anything for attention.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
A guy who takes other people's music and talks over it about how he is the greatest person on the planet.
It's funny because that's absolutely true.
Opaline
1
-___- My boyfriend loves Kanye West. And other hip hop, rap and R&B. I like *some* of that, but I'm generally not interested in it. I find most of it annoying and all sound the same.
Just another sign we're not compatible
::
THeCARS1979
Well-known member
Love your story girl!Why?
Because.
My therapist and I have decided that I must go outside once daily.
My mother is constantly complaining that she feels fat, so I suggested we go for walks in the evenings.
So, last night mom and I went for a walk at 10.
10pm. Not really evenings-- but whatever.
We walked across town and came around in a circle to walk back.
It was recycling day (today) the next morning, so some people on the street we were walking on had their bins out. One house had 2 deck chairs stacked together, waiting for the recycling...
Mom laughed and said; 'oh, looks like someone bought some new chairs and doesn't need those ones anymore'
and I said; "You need 2 chairs, don't you? You've been complaining for a year that you don't have any good ones."
Then, I walked across the street in the dark to take a look at the chairs and mom followed me curiously; asking, 'are they broken?'
They were perfect. A bit of mildew, since someone probably left them outside for the winter- but hard resin chairs- very sturdy- could wash them up and paint them and you'd never know they were taken from the curb.
haha
So, we unstacked them and each carried one over our head----- for the 14 blocks journey back home.
Each time a car drove by; which was rarely, I'd set the chair down on the sidewalk and pretend I was just lounging in my chair... watching the street... infront of a stranger's yard... in the dark. Totally normal.
Awesome. Free chairs.
Mom has had a fear of taking things 'from the garbage' since her mother/my grandmother kinda flew the coocoo's nest and spends her spare time climbing through ditches and digging through trash bins to find things she can sell for 5cents each.
I'm used to having 'hand me downs' and from time to time, taking things that have 'free' written all over them.
Don't see what's wrong with that.
The walk home was fun though.
With chair hats.
Mom was laughing most of the way, saying how she felt like a hobo-- but I reminded her that we're pretty close, anyways.
Government housing is where people go so they aren't homeless.
I may have a bit of hobo mentality, though... as I sit here and eat my half can of cold beans.
Mayhaps I'll have another adventure today?
Mayhaps not.
If you have one, let me know!
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
Today is a sick day.
Sun is shining, birds are chirping, my ASS hurts so baaad!
I haven't gone to the hospital yet.
The pain is worse than it was yesterday or the day before... or the day before-- so it's getting better, I suppose?
Probably just an odd pulled muscle.
I can't think of what I must've done to hurt myself though.
Picking up leaves...?
So... I can run 16km but I can't crouch and pick up leaves for an hour without pulling muscles.
nice.
Since I can't think of anything positive to say right now and I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for weeks, I think I'll take this chance to get something off my chest.
There's alot of negativity on the forum-- which is to be expected.
We all have had bad experiences with people.
We've been bullied by others or ourselves.
One thing that makes me feel terrible is the negativity towards the sexes.
Men towards women, mainly.
I can say from my experience that men can be abusive, they can be hateful, they can be self conscious and weak and lash out because of their insecurities-- but I don't think for a moment that all men are like this.
I raised my brother specifically to NOT be like this.
My father is not like this, despite his self-hatred, he has never lashed out at me for being a woman although he feels that it was my mother who ruined his life-- he knows it's not true.
He has had therapy over this issue but as I have felt that my ex was what ruined my life; he feels the same about my mother.
We have similar histories with our *only romantic relationships*/ childhood friend turned long term partner turned end of the world.
What bothers me often, is the whole competition aspect-- the belief that women have it easier in general.
All we have to do is dress sexy and look nice and catch a man with lots of money?
Is that not a stereotype? A really REALLY bad one that is widely believed to be true?
I had a career where I was expected to look good ALL THE TIME. From the moment I woke up in the morning-- until I locked my door at night and closed the blinds.
If I didn't look amazing and completely flawless, I was bullied and shunned and would often times be fired.
Had to wear 12 pounds of makeup to cover my acne and my jaundice.
I had to diet and be thin, I had to exercise, I had to pad my bra so that I wouldn't get called flat chested.
As a modern woman, I'm also expected to 'have my cake and eat it too'-- in being a long term partner/ a mother/ a housewife AND a business woman.
I had to deal with sexual harassment every minute of every day from every angle.
My job didn't pay alot unless I worked 100+ hours/week.
20 hours some days. No breaks. On edge the entire time.
And I got paid less, automatically-- than a man would have been paid in the same position.
Because of the way I looked for my job, I was judged and called a whore, called a slut, called a snob, called a bitch.
I've only ever dated one person.
I am very much a person filled with morals and I don't cross that line in my life or do anything to step on anyone or to stab anyone in the back or to say mean things or give the wrong impression with my body language.
And yet, I was called a whore, constantly... by 'jealous' people, I suppose.
People I would beat out of the job because I had more credentials or more enthusiasm or more charm-- all of which I only had because I worked so hard to be this person I wanted to be.
To use my only talent to entertain strangers.
I was never credited for my hard work - men tend to get credit- I have yet to get credit.
But I did it anyway.
Up until I lost my relationship and he left me, I did what I could to make everyone around me happy because that was all that made me happy.
Because the woman is expected to be the glue of a family.
The one who holds everything together.
Work/cook/clean/give birth/raise children/never step out of line/don't speak up.
We can cry, sure. That's allowed.
We can't be treated equally, though because we're weak and we're stupid.
I've really lost my train of thought...
What I was trying to work up to, though-- is that today is today.
It's not 50 years ago.
Social 'standards' are what you make them to be. They aren't set in stone anymore.
Gay couples are allowed to adopt now!
They can get married and do what they like-- and that's 'socially abnormal' to some people, isn't it?
But they should do it anyways, if it's what makes them happy.
And they DO do it.
You should do what you want to do with your life. What makes you happy.
What makes me happy?
I don't know...
Sitting in my room and being miserable and fantasizing about new ways to kill myself sure doesn't.
So, I'll work to change that.
Work to find things that do make me happy.
I'll have to start from scratch again and I'll probably never act again, but that's okay I guess...
I'm just not cut out for it.
I'll find something else that makes me feel like my life is worth living.
Sun is shining, birds are chirping, my ASS hurts so baaad!
I haven't gone to the hospital yet.
The pain is worse than it was yesterday or the day before... or the day before-- so it's getting better, I suppose?
Probably just an odd pulled muscle.
I can't think of what I must've done to hurt myself though.
Picking up leaves...?
So... I can run 16km but I can't crouch and pick up leaves for an hour without pulling muscles.
nice.
Since I can't think of anything positive to say right now and I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for weeks, I think I'll take this chance to get something off my chest.
There's alot of negativity on the forum-- which is to be expected.
We all have had bad experiences with people.
We've been bullied by others or ourselves.
One thing that makes me feel terrible is the negativity towards the sexes.
Men towards women, mainly.
I can say from my experience that men can be abusive, they can be hateful, they can be self conscious and weak and lash out because of their insecurities-- but I don't think for a moment that all men are like this.
I raised my brother specifically to NOT be like this.
My father is not like this, despite his self-hatred, he has never lashed out at me for being a woman although he feels that it was my mother who ruined his life-- he knows it's not true.
He has had therapy over this issue but as I have felt that my ex was what ruined my life; he feels the same about my mother.
We have similar histories with our *only romantic relationships*/ childhood friend turned long term partner turned end of the world.
What bothers me often, is the whole competition aspect-- the belief that women have it easier in general.
All we have to do is dress sexy and look nice and catch a man with lots of money?
Is that not a stereotype? A really REALLY bad one that is widely believed to be true?
I had a career where I was expected to look good ALL THE TIME. From the moment I woke up in the morning-- until I locked my door at night and closed the blinds.
If I didn't look amazing and completely flawless, I was bullied and shunned and would often times be fired.
Had to wear 12 pounds of makeup to cover my acne and my jaundice.
I had to diet and be thin, I had to exercise, I had to pad my bra so that I wouldn't get called flat chested.
As a modern woman, I'm also expected to 'have my cake and eat it too'-- in being a long term partner/ a mother/ a housewife AND a business woman.
I had to deal with sexual harassment every minute of every day from every angle.
My job didn't pay alot unless I worked 100+ hours/week.
20 hours some days. No breaks. On edge the entire time.
And I got paid less, automatically-- than a man would have been paid in the same position.
Because of the way I looked for my job, I was judged and called a whore, called a slut, called a snob, called a bitch.
I've only ever dated one person.
I am very much a person filled with morals and I don't cross that line in my life or do anything to step on anyone or to stab anyone in the back or to say mean things or give the wrong impression with my body language.
And yet, I was called a whore, constantly... by 'jealous' people, I suppose.
People I would beat out of the job because I had more credentials or more enthusiasm or more charm-- all of which I only had because I worked so hard to be this person I wanted to be.
To use my only talent to entertain strangers.
I was never credited for my hard work - men tend to get credit- I have yet to get credit.
But I did it anyway.
Up until I lost my relationship and he left me, I did what I could to make everyone around me happy because that was all that made me happy.
Because the woman is expected to be the glue of a family.
The one who holds everything together.
Work/cook/clean/give birth/raise children/never step out of line/don't speak up.
We can cry, sure. That's allowed.
We can't be treated equally, though because we're weak and we're stupid.
I've really lost my train of thought...
What I was trying to work up to, though-- is that today is today.
It's not 50 years ago.
Social 'standards' are what you make them to be. They aren't set in stone anymore.
Gay couples are allowed to adopt now!
They can get married and do what they like-- and that's 'socially abnormal' to some people, isn't it?
But they should do it anyways, if it's what makes them happy.
And they DO do it.
You should do what you want to do with your life. What makes you happy.
What makes me happy?
I don't know...
Sitting in my room and being miserable and fantasizing about new ways to kill myself sure doesn't.
So, I'll work to change that.
Work to find things that do make me happy.
I'll have to start from scratch again and I'll probably never act again, but that's okay I guess...
I'm just not cut out for it.
I'll find something else that makes me feel like my life is worth living.
MikeyC
Well-known member
My inbox is always open. I'm really sorry.
Thank you. Again.
I'm not saying men have it easy, and I'm sure you're not, either, but the fact that women have to do harder work for less credit and less money makes me upset, even though I am male myself. I can't believe such inequality still exists in 2012 and I hope that it's eradicated soon. It's way too unfair.
That's good, because I would wager most men aren't like this. There's still a higher number that are, though, and that makes me ashamed to be male.
It's an awful stereotype and completely false.
Shenmue
Well-known member
You really do have the right attitude Weirdy. I made the mistake of believing how worthless I was. All because I let some tools make me feel that way. The problem is I still feel a sort of residual emotion from those moments in time. I know i am stronger than I was back then, but I still haven't convinced my subconscious i am. Which I suppose is the reason why I still can't control my shaking hands. I could give a cocktail shaker a run for it's money.
THeCARS1979
Well-known member
i think of you as so cute, dont ever change that ok?
Last edited by a moderator:
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
And FINALLY-- my butt feels better.
I've come to the conclusion that the paid I've been feeling for a week was just a pulled muscle... or a series of muscles.
Doesn't help me to feel any better about how sick and NOT active I am but it's better than say... a blood clot or a nerve disorder or some kind of brain defect.
harhar!
I called my grandma and dad today.
Mother's day was a few days ago and it's been about a month since I called (mainly because the only thing they want to talk about is my sister's pregnancy which I know little about because she lives in the city and I DO NOT) and grandma got to talking about what she normally talks about... and I pretend that I'm listening but really, my concentration skills are quite poor during any kind of conversation-- especially phone conversations... I just kinda drift away and think about ponies and fireworks and dress designs and the cut I got on my gums when I was flossing last night...
and she said; 'you forgot a box when you left last time'
< I heard that. I remembered forgetting-- I mean... I remembered that I forgot it on the table when little brother drove us home and I was hungry for vegetable thins and turned to look in the back seat and realized that I FORGOT MY EFFING BOX OF FOOD FROM GRANDMA'S PANTRY!??
Her nurse goes shopping for them once a week and always picks out things grandma doesn't like (because she's very picky and will only eat certain brands) and whenever I visit, I take home the stuff she doesn't like (because I am not picky and would literally eat garbage if it was the only thing around and it were served to me on a plate)
And she asked when I was going to come and visit next.
So, I thought about it...
and thought a little more...
There's really no sense in thinking though because I have no money for transportation.
If little brother decides to drive up north one day I'll hitch a ride with him-- short of that happening, I won't be going.
So, I said 'soon, hopefully' and she went back to talking about babies.
She did say something that shocked me a bit-- but perhaps it's all the television she watches that changed her mind about this specific subject?
She said that it would be better for my sister to have a girl because it seems like it would be a bit easier for a single mother to raise a daughter rather than a son.
SINGLE MOTHER! She said it and wasn't disgusted by the concept!
It was just a couple months ago that she told me she was disappointed in me when I moved in with my boyfriend (of 5 years) and didn't get married first.
I proposed that it was silly to get married before you know what a person is like to live with and she just told me that "That's not the way we did things when I was your age!"
And then she told me that I should become a flight attendant so I can find myself a nice man to marry and become his trophy wife.
That's grandma... yep.
So, surely her sudden grasping of the 'single mother' concept means she's slipping into insanity?
That's the only conclusion I can come to.
And now for something completely unrelated!
I just LOVE mimes.
I've come to the conclusion that the paid I've been feeling for a week was just a pulled muscle... or a series of muscles.
Doesn't help me to feel any better about how sick and NOT active I am but it's better than say... a blood clot or a nerve disorder or some kind of brain defect.
harhar!
I called my grandma and dad today.
Mother's day was a few days ago and it's been about a month since I called (mainly because the only thing they want to talk about is my sister's pregnancy which I know little about because she lives in the city and I DO NOT) and grandma got to talking about what she normally talks about... and I pretend that I'm listening but really, my concentration skills are quite poor during any kind of conversation-- especially phone conversations... I just kinda drift away and think about ponies and fireworks and dress designs and the cut I got on my gums when I was flossing last night...
and she said; 'you forgot a box when you left last time'
< I heard that. I remembered forgetting-- I mean... I remembered that I forgot it on the table when little brother drove us home and I was hungry for vegetable thins and turned to look in the back seat and realized that I FORGOT MY EFFING BOX OF FOOD FROM GRANDMA'S PANTRY!??
Her nurse goes shopping for them once a week and always picks out things grandma doesn't like (because she's very picky and will only eat certain brands) and whenever I visit, I take home the stuff she doesn't like (because I am not picky and would literally eat garbage if it was the only thing around and it were served to me on a plate)
And she asked when I was going to come and visit next.
So, I thought about it...
and thought a little more...
There's really no sense in thinking though because I have no money for transportation.
If little brother decides to drive up north one day I'll hitch a ride with him-- short of that happening, I won't be going.
So, I said 'soon, hopefully' and she went back to talking about babies.
She did say something that shocked me a bit-- but perhaps it's all the television she watches that changed her mind about this specific subject?
She said that it would be better for my sister to have a girl because it seems like it would be a bit easier for a single mother to raise a daughter rather than a son.
SINGLE MOTHER! She said it and wasn't disgusted by the concept!
It was just a couple months ago that she told me she was disappointed in me when I moved in with my boyfriend (of 5 years) and didn't get married first.
I proposed that it was silly to get married before you know what a person is like to live with and she just told me that "That's not the way we did things when I was your age!"
And then she told me that I should become a flight attendant so I can find myself a nice man to marry and become his trophy wife.
That's grandma... yep.
So, surely her sudden grasping of the 'single mother' concept means she's slipping into insanity?
That's the only conclusion I can come to.
And now for something completely unrelated!
I just LOVE mimes.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaankyou.