My BrAiN IS ELPLOdinG!!! WAHH!
I woke up with a massive headache after having nightmares all night.
booo...
What am I going to talk about this time?
Sorry it's not really an adventure... I haven't been able to leave the house in awhile.
I want to take the time to say what I think I want in a partner.
And by partner, I mean-- the person I would marry and make babies with.
Although this is hard for me to think of-- seeming asexual; I was in love with a man before. And if it can happen once, I suppose it could happen again.
So, the first thing would be: love.
haha
Does that sound stupid?
From my relationship experience, I know that there are alot of things I can put up with and be understanding about.
Things such as: drinking, smoking and drug use.
I do not do any of the above... but I did accept his use of alcohol, tobacco and
one other thing and I kind of regret it.
As long as it's a weekend/social thing, I suppose I could accept it but I would like to actually KNOW one other person in my life who is also straight edge since I've never known anyone aside from myself who refuses to drink/smoke/do drugs/have casual sex.
So, perhaps my potential partner could be straight edge as well?
Or not.
Nothing is ever set in stone.
As for the 'confidence issue' that looms over this forum-- I would say confidence in US is the most important thing in a relationship.
Being with someone who accuses you of cheating on them and doubts your loyalty is painful and puts a wall between you.
I'm not confident in myself, but I was always confident in him- confident in our relationship.
But he wasn't and I think it ate away at him.
There was nothing more I could have done to make up for his lack of confidence in us.
Someone who is human. Who has made mistakes and learned from them. Who cries when they're sad and TALKS out their problems rather than holding them in.
As for looks, I can't think of any 'requirements'.
I've been attracted to someone once.
My friends said he was ugly. I thought he was the most beautiful person in the world and didn't give a **** what other people said.
He wasn't 6 feet tall.
He wasn't very smart.
He wasn't very popular.
He wasn't sporty.
He WAS funny. He had a good sense of humor. He could laugh at life's ironies.
He WAS kind-- to me and to strangers. Generous.
He WAS sensitive. He wrote poetry, he cried, he was empathetic.
That was the man I knew and despite his faults, I loved him.
Everything about him.
And that is important in any relationship, I think-- unconditional love.
Having standards is a good thing.
If someone is beating you or lying constantly-- you should not be so blinded by your love that you put up with it and suffer.
But many people are in that very situation or they stay in the relationship because of their own warped sense of what a relationship should be because of what they saw as a child, or were taught or manipulated into believing was okay.
Dreaming is also okay.
You know what makes a dream a dream?
Dream - An idea or hope that is impractical or unlikely ever to be realized;
Impractical or unlikely but it's okay to imagine it or to reach for it--- once you get to know a person, you may realize more and more how much they are like your 'dream person' and will change your definition so that it fits them better because
NO ONE IS PERFECT. WE ARE ALL HUMAN.
... except for me. I'm a Unicorn.