Cant get laid? come to New Zealand :)

[Newtype]

now im going to reply to this , you say sex is pathetic and there filling an empty void if people want to have casual sex isnt it up to them , ok you want to wait to have a deep and meaning relationship ok thats good , its your choice, but lets forget about new zealand for a min , lets talk about casual sex i see nothing wrong init , whats the big deal as long as those who are having casual sex arnt hurting anyone or married or whatever , sex is a good way to relax , it makes you feel good , not all people need a relationship not all people want to have a parter in there lives , but we all have needs ... and making love to a person can be one of the most wonderfull things you can do , ok maybe its a temp fix to feel good but so what , im not into casual sex myself but if i was single and some woman wanted to take me home for the night well ..... id prob say yes **** it why not ..... hell id probaly make her breakfast in the morning , i do great toast with scrambled eggs . and lets not forget a nice cup of tea but of course you use protection , thats what condoms are for lol

I don't know if you forgot to write some words or something but I never said that sex is pathetic. Just wanted to clarify that.

I also wanna clarify that I'm not religious at all and never was. I've never been influenced to think this way by anybody. My parents never talked to me about this either and they probably wouldn't care if I slept around. This isn't some belief or ideology that I'm defending. This is just my vision of life and how I feel based on everything that I've learned on my own in my 22 years of life.

You can do anything you want in this world as long as it's legal. If people wanna have casual sex because they're lonely or they have needs and they don't feel dirty after doing it, then good for them. I personally would feel really dirty. Once you go home after doing it, are you gonna be satisfied? Complete? You took care of your needs, but tomorrow is another day and you'll have needs again.

I have needs too. I have mega needs. I also have thoughts many times a day. Believe me, I wanna do it BADLY. But the difference with me is that I put my heart before whatever message my body is sending to my brain. If I didn't do that, then I probably would've done it with the whole town by now, twice. Humans are basically animals but living in a society is a lifetime battle against the beast inside of you. Otherwise, there would just be chaos. I like to think this way. It shouldn't be just about about following rules or laws, it should also be about being the most human possible and respecting what you are, yourself and each other. It's not about hurting, it's about respect.

You said: "...making love to a person can be one of the most wonderful things you can do". I really don't think you're "making love" when you're having casual sex because there is no love. I'm sure it's really different and cold compared to being with a girlfriend. The feeling of having the woman who loves you with all her heart and soul look right into your eyes and never looking away, no matter how intense the love-making is, that's what's wonderful. That's what I wanna wait for because I know that that moment will be more precious and enjoyable than any lame hook-up I can get and I'll be happy to feel that she's one of the few (or if you're a virgin the first one) who got to discover that part of me.

I know there aren't a lot of people in this world who think like me. Nowadays, the end justifies the means. I'm not trying to change that because I can't. I only wanna be proud of myself and concentrate on how I can be and if I have children one day I'd love it if they had a heart like mine too. By the way, if you wanna cook the girl some eggs, you can do that with a girlfriend too. Just saying...

 

[coyote]

Human beings are really just another species of animal.

We have the same base needs, desires, drives....as any animal.

We just dress better.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

We just dress better.

With that, sir, I cannot agree.

 

[coyote]

With that, sir, I cannot agree.

yes, good point!

 

[Elad]

The only thing I got out of this article is that 29% of NZ males are homosexual.

 

[Elad]

lol Hence the sex-crazed females?

lol thats a good point.


negged.



















































not srs repped

 

[Elad]

You can do anything you want in this world as long as it's legal. If people wanna have casual sex because they're lonely or they have needs and they don't feel dirty after doing it, then good for them. I personally would feel really dirty. Once you go home after doing it, are you gonna be satisfied? Complete? You took care of your needs, but tomorrow is another day and you'll have needs again.

I'm not tryin to be offensive here, but you've said before you're a virgin.. so how can be so adament about this? Your last sentence is life, you take care of your needs but tomorrow is another day and you'll have needs again.. what is your point?

Humans are basically animals but living in a society is a lifetime battle against the beast inside of you. Otherwise, there would just be chaos. I like to think this way. It shouldn't be just about about following rules or laws, it should also be about being the most human possible and respecting what you are, yourself and each other. It's not about hurting, it's about respect.

To be human is to have casual sex, we are the only creatures around that do it not out of necessity.

Also where does hurting come into the equation at all

I'm sure it's really different and cold compared to being with a girlfriend. The feeling of having the woman who loves you with all her heart and soul look right into your eyes and never looking away, no matter how intense the love-making is, that's what's wonderful. That's what I wanna wait for because I know that that moment will be more precious and enjoyable than any lame hook-up I can get and I'll be happy to feel that she's one of the few (or if you're a virgin the first one) who got to discover that part of me.

That bolded statement is right out of a movie, and really you havent experienced sex! So how can you type so certainly about what is and isnt?

Everything you say seems extremely idealistic and almost fantasy like, its almost like you're typing this out from years of watching romance movies.

 

[coyote]

The feeling of having the woman who loves you with all her heart and soul look right into your eyes and never looking away, no matter how intense the love-making is, that's what's wonderful.

Sometimes it can be very intense when she's actually looking in the opposite direction...if ya know what I mean. ;}

 

[Damaged]

Sometimes it can be very intense when she's actually looking in the opposite direction...if ya know what I mean. ;}

Hahahahaha

amazing!

 

[lunarla]

^ That, or a bit creepeh

 

[Lost Girl]

I have needs too. I have mega needs. I also have thoughts many times a day. Believe me, I wanna do it BADLY. But the difference with me is that I put my heart before whatever message my body is sending to my brain. If I didn't do that, then I probably would've done it with the whole town by now, twice. Humans are basically animals but living in a society is a lifetime battle against the beast inside of you. Otherwise, there would just be chaos. I like to think this way. It shouldn't be just about about following rules or laws, it should also be about being the most human possible and respecting what you are, yourself and each other. It's not about hurting, it's about respect.

You said: "...making love to a person can be one of the most wonderful things you can do". I really don't think you're "making love" when you're having casual sex because there is no love. I'm sure it's really different and cold compared to being with a girlfriend. The feeling of having the woman who loves you with all her heart and soul look right into your eyes and never looking away, no matter how intense the love-making is, that's what's wonderful. That's what I wanna wait for because I know that that moment will be more precious and enjoyable than any lame hook-up I can get and I'll be happy to feel that she's one of the few (or if you're a virgin the first one) who got to discover that part of me.

I know there aren't a lot of people in this world who think like me. Nowadays, the end justifies the means. I'm not trying to change that because I can't. I only wanna be proud of myself and concentrate on how I can be and if I have children one day I'd love it if they had a heart like mine too. By the way, if you wanna cook the girl some eggs, you can do that with a girlfriend too. Just saying...

Newtype, you speak as though respect and a casual sexual relationship cannot go hand in hand....Two people can have absolute respect for themselves and each other and still have a healthy sexual relationship with a person without being in a serious relationship. It can also be passionate, and it can also develop into something more. It isn't just the self-destructive experience you seem to think.

I'm curious, if you fall for a girl who in the past hasn't shared your ideals and has had a sexual fling or two, how are you going to feel? You come across to me as truly disgusted at this behavior, and I'm wondering how you're going to cope if you find yourself with a girl like this? In today's world it's a likely possibility after all.

 

[Hellhound]

Newtype, you speak as though respect and a casual sexual relationship cannot go hand in hand....Two people can have absolute respect for themselves and each other and still have a healthy sexual relationship with a person without being in a serious relationship. It can also be passionate, and it can also develop into something more. It isn't just the self-destructive experience you seem to think.

I'm curious, if you fall for a girl who in the past hasn't shared your ideals and has had a sexual fling or two, how are you going to feel? You come across to me as truly disgusted at this behavior, and I'm wondering how you're going to cope if you find yourself with a girl like this? In today's world it's a likely possibility after all.

The article doesn't talk about that... and I don't think he means a casual sexual relationship. The article talks about girls getting drunk and going to "hunt" guys... If I didn't interpret him wrong, he was disgusted at such behavior related in the article, not the casual sex thing. But I apologize if I misunderstood.

 

[da_illest101]

Yep, I agree. Don't mean to beat a dead horse or pile it on, but I think everyone idealizes sex growing up, but everyone sheds that kind of thinking eventually. People are rarely as noble as their intentions when an opportunity presents itself to live up to them...

Idealization of sex growing up:
"I'm going to be one of those guys that wants to cuddle and talk afterward! I'm gonna be the most attentive boyfriend ever!"

Reality on a good day:
"That was great, baby... Aaaaanyway, I'm gonna go sleep on the couch for a bit. Your body heat's making me uncomfortably sweaty."

Reality on a day after 10 hours of work:
"That was great, baby... Wha? What am I thinking about? Hmmm.................... *snore*"

Idealization of sex growing up:
"Ew. I'm never gonna let the woman I'm with do that to me. That totally seems degrading to her."

Reality:
"Ya, so for my birthday, I was thinking maybe you could do that thing you know I like? And I was thinking it'd be really cool if we got it on camera, too, so I... er we... could watch it later and stuff."

... what kind of reality do you live in? because I never had that for and idealization : the EW I'm never gonna let the woman I'm with do that to me. That totally seems degrading to her."

 

[Avery]

I don't know if you forgot to write some words or something but I never said that sex is pathetic. Just wanted to clarify that.

I also wanna clarify that I'm not religious at all and never was. I've never been influenced to think this way by anybody. My parents never talked to me about this either and they probably wouldn't care if I slept around. This isn't some belief or ideology that I'm defending. This is just my vision of life and how I feel based on everything that I've learned on my own in my 22 years of life.

You can do anything you want in this world as long as it's legal. If people wanna have casual sex because they're lonely or they have needs and they don't feel dirty after doing it, then good for them. I personally would feel really dirty. Once you go home after doing it, are you gonna be satisfied? Complete? You took care of your needs, but tomorrow is another day and you'll have needs again.

I have needs too. I have mega needs. I also have thoughts many times a day. Believe me, I wanna do it BADLY. But the difference with me is that I put my heart before whatever message my body is sending to my brain. If I didn't do that, then I probably would've done it with the whole town by now, twice. Humans are basically animals but living in a society is a lifetime battle against the beast inside of you. Otherwise, there would just be chaos. I like to think this way. It shouldn't be just about about following rules or laws, it should also be about being the most human possible and respecting what you are, yourself and each other. It's not about hurting, it's about respect.

You said: "...making love to a person can be one of the most wonderful things you can do". I really don't think you're "making love" when you're having casual sex because there is no love. I'm sure it's really different and cold compared to being with a girlfriend. The feeling of having the woman who loves you with all her heart and soul look right into your eyes and never looking away, no matter how intense the love-making is, that's what's wonderful. That's what I wanna wait for because I know that that moment will be more precious and enjoyable than any lame hook-up I can get and I'll be happy to feel that she's one of the few (or if you're a virgin the first one) who got to discover that part of me.

I know there aren't a lot of people in this world who think like me. Nowadays, the end justifies the means. I'm not trying to change that because I can't. I only wanna be proud of myself and concentrate on how I can be and if I have children one day I'd love it if they had a heart like mine too. By the way, if you wanna cook the girl some eggs, you can do that with a girlfriend too. Just saying...

Wow -- I could have written this. I agree with almost all of what you've written, especially the bolded parts. I'm a 23-year-old (virgin) male, so perhaps that's not surprising, but most of the 'virgin' guys I've come across (online and off) are desperate to lose their 'v-cards.' It's rare to come across sexual self-control that is both moral and non-religious.

I realize that these beliefs seem idealistic to others, and I'm not going to attempt to change any minds if that's the case. Western Civilization has abandoned collective prescripts against premarital sex and casual promiscuity, so it's up to individuals to make their own choices regarding their sexual behavior. I hope we all do so carefully -- sex is too powerful, too capable of creating life and destroying lives, to be taken lightly.

 

[Felgen]

Very true, indeed! However, it's actually not uncommon for virgins to think the way he does. I don't mean that in a malicious way, btw. This is why I asked him whether he was a virgin a few posts back. You can't possibly know that such things are possible if you've never even experienced sex. There are people who have experienced sex, but still don't know that there are other options out there. When one is not familiar with something, one might have certain expectations or ideas of how something is or should be. Sometimes those expectations are not necessarily realistic. This often changes with experience. You have to experience certain things yourself (not just sex) to truly understand.

Before I lost my virginity, I was only interested in the sex part, not the relationship itself. While sex feels better than jerking off, there's something special about knowing that you're loved and that you love someone.

 

[groovy]

..........................

 

[Lost Girl]

Elad has been banned?

 

[Waybuloo]

New Zealand sounds like a really interesting place to visit.

I imagined you saying that deadpan and I lolled

 

[Felgen]

Elad has been banned?

If someone is "banned" here, it's usually because they asked one of the mods to ban them.

 

[Remus]

If someone is "banned" here, it's usually because they asked one of the mods to ban them.

Nope, not in this case, but feel free to PM one of us to ask why, rather than post on the boards (as in the rules)