Awkward/Nonchalant When Receiving Things?

[MaliceInWickedland]

My godmother came over today to wish me a Happy *and very belated* Birthday. When she handed me my present I muttered a shy "thank you" and started walking away. I don't like opening gifts in front of other people in fear that my reaction will be unpleasant or give the impression that I'm not interested so I put them away in my room to open later. I know it's rude but my SA really gets a hold of me in situations like these ::

Anyway, my Godmother obviously isn't aware of my SA (or just doesn't care) and she pulled me back, asking me where I was going and told me to open it right there. I got all anxious and when I get anxious my face tenses up and I look either depressed, pissed off, constipated, or just rock solid. So I opened it and it turned out to be this really beautiful bracelet and I felt really happy in the inside but on the outside all I could do was smile awkwardly and mutter a near-silent "thank you". I gave my godmother a hug but my body was so tense that I'm sure she could feel it, plus I was a bit shaky.

I feel so terrible now because she was all excited about giving me the gift and I was so awkward and nonchalant about it. It's the same thing whenever my mom buys me something - she'll be very excited about giving it to me but my enthusiasm is nowhere near close to hers when receiving things from her. I feel like I don't know how to properly express my happiness or gratitude anymore...

Does anyone else here ever feel the same about opening gifts in front of others?

 

[HeadFace]

I'm like that. No matter what it is, I'm never able to get excited enough, or at least seem content to another. Even if I am, on the inside..

 

[Confuseddd]

yes i seem very emotionless to people i would imagine... Its hard but i try so hard just to grow and to stop caring. On another note is this a mental illness? i have heard it called that before

 

[Kinetik]

I'm actually the opposite if someone is good to me - I tend to be overly profuse. I think it's because I'm paranoid of coming across as ungrateful.

 

[groovy]

This is me. Not just when receiving gifts, but in a lot of situations where some sort of emotional response is expected. Lol. Especially if there is more than one other person present..

I do feel the emotions inside... but I'm beginning to worry that I'm desensitizing even to that.. I don't know.. I think that, emotions are feelings, sure, but they need to get out there and be expressed, otherwise you might stop feeling them altogetherr ... uggh

 

[BlackPuma]

I totally get where you're coming from. I can't express gratitude or happiness either.

Though, in my case I have my situation working for me. Pretty much my whole family knows about my home/family situation, and pretty much see in ever action I take the I'm a very emotionally scarred human being. They don't expect much. But sometimes it does goes wrong. Like, 2 year ago on my birthday. We were at my aunt's house so we could have the party in the backyard. Nobody knows me when, so they all handed me envelopes with money. Which is fine by me, it's the thought that counts.

But with one, though, I totally forgot to even glimpse at what was written on the envelop because I'm very uncomfortable opening gifts (even if there are merely envelopes) in front of people. I just kinda looked inside to see how much it was, and put it away. A day later this hit me, and realized how terribly greedy and cold this must have looked to them. I know that it wasn't my intention, but I felt like a jerk anyway.

I've been paying extra good attention to how I respond ever since. I still cringe at the thoughts of that event, oblivious as I might have been at the time.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Oh my, this one hits the target. I dislike receiving presents to the point that its nearly a phobia. If I get an awful present I can't help but react badly; twice in the past I've said straight away that I don't like it, causing major grief at the time. I dislike getting 'things' of no use that clutter up cupboards. I dislike the fact that it comes from people to whom the pleasure is theirs by giving (these are the ones who MUST see the present being unwrapped). I used to dislike holding birthday parties and christmas where the kids would get a heap of junk and maybe a few things they actually liked. I disliked how the people mentioned above corral the other kids in a circle so all can watch the unwrapping. I dislike how people feel they have to give presents. I dislike how presents now are often just an exchange of money - pointless when the amounts are the same, embarrassing when they're not. phew!

yeeeeeeess

 

[Falkor]

wow.. this totally describes me..when i get something (even when it's a really cool present) i look really awful like i dont like it, i dont look happy.
I look like i hate the present. while im very thankful about it.
i also have this with jealousy, i can look really jealous,
while im not jealous at all.

Weird, huh?

 

[Aussie_Lad]

Firstly Happy Birthday.

I think there is an unwritten social rule that says that you must open your presents in front of everyone. I don't like the rule either. You just have to grin and bear it sometimes. You see on tv where people get gifts and act all happy and then when the person is gone, say what you really felt about it. That sort of things happens plenty in real life too. If you have trouble faking happiness, then think of something that makes you happy and then a smile will naturally follow.

 

[Feathers]

Happy Birthday!

I think Grandma just wanted to see an enthusiastic face..
Maybe write her a Thank You letter? (where you write what you wrote here, how much you like it etc)
I'm pretty easygoing with my Grandma, she usually gives us money these days which is most appreciated anyway..
It's awkward when she forgets and gives it again! (I do tell her, it's still awkward though, lol..)

I really hate getting 'real' gifts (as in, items), most of the time - especially now that I'm more aware what is eco and what isn't. (Most of it isn't.)
And even in the past, mostly people just didn't get my taste, Mom has bought us some horrible un-fashion-items when I was younger, even when I gave a list to my friends it wasn't exactly what I'd want lol.. like Phocas wrote, mostly it was useless Knicknacks or such... so I'm really happy about the 'no gifts' policy for Christmas.. (we did donations to a worthy cause instead a few years ago, now we just get a few useful goodies for Grandma who also has b.-day around that time.. and she always gets us chocolate or such..) Basically I don't do gifts anymore, except with one friend occasionally, and we try to find eco/zero waste stuff.. something small just to show attention..

Even if I'm ever in a position to have more money, I'll try to find (and ask for! ) zero waste gifts like subscriptions or tickets or Amazon vouchers or such... so everyone can choose what they want

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I don't like opening gifts in front of other people in fear that my reaction will be unpleasant or give the impression that I'm not interested so I put them away in my room to open later. I know it's rude but my SA really gets a hold of me in situations like these ::


Is anyone else going through this? ::

lol I am the exact same way! I don't like to open up presents in front of people. What if I don't seem excited enough? What if I won't like the present? I don't want to have to fake a reaction. Then I always feel that I seem phony when I really am excited or happy. At the same time, I don't like it when people open my presents in my presence because I wouldn't want to make things awkward for them. I'd rather just slip my present to them and have them open it when they're alone.

The only the exception to this is my child. Just seeing how excited and happy she gets when she receives a present is priceless.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

My godmother came over today to wish me a Happy *and very belated* Birthday. When she handed me my present I muttered a shy "thank you" and started walking away. I don't like opening gifts in front of other people in fear that my reaction will be unpleasant or give the impression that I'm not interested so I put them away in my room to open later. I know it's rude but my SA really gets a hold of me in situations like these ::

Anyway, my Godmother obviously isn't aware of my SA and she pulled me back, asking me where I was going and told me to open it right there. I got all anxious and when I get anxious my face tenses up and I look either depressed, pissed off, constipated, or just rock solid. I opened it and it turned out to be this really beautiful bracelet and I felt really happy in the inside but on the outside all I could do was smile awkwardly and mutter a near-silent thank you. I gave my godmother a hug but my body was so tense that I'm sure she could feel it.

I feel so terrible now because she was all excited about giving me the gift and I was so awkward and nonchalant about it. It's the same thing whenever my mom buys me something - she'll be very excited about giving it to me but my enthusiasm is nowhere near close to hers when receiving things from her. I feel like I don't know how to properly express my happiness or gratitude anymore...

Is anyone else going through this? ::

Exactly the same. Don't really know what the solution is, except that, the most you are comfortable with who you are, the easier it gets to show your emotions.
As a trick to repare after it happens, honesty works fine for me. you can either call her to tell her you're not good to receive gift or/and you were in a strange mood and you couldn't show her how happy you were, or write an e-mail (easier).
It will make her happy and you will feel better.

 

[Ignace]

I have problems accepting things too. Not only gifts, also food, drinks ... It comes over rude, but I just can't. If I accept something I feel like a waste, because they have less chips left, for example. Really stupid, but it's attached in my mind, can't switch it off.

 

[philly2bits]

I long ago stopped giving fake reactions to gifts or other things like people doing me favors. I'm not ungrateful for them but my reactions match how I feel about the exact gift or favor in any situation and it may be less then the person was expecting, therefore I'm sure I come off as being a jerk often.

 

[lurknomore]

This is me. Not just when receiving gifts, but in a lot of situations where some sort of emotional response is expected. Lol. Especially if there is more than one other person present..

I do feel the emotions inside... but I'm beginning to worry that I'm desensitizing even to that.. I don't know.. I think that, emotions are feelings, sure, but they need to get out there and be expressed, otherwise you might stop feeling them altogetherr ... uggh

I can totally relate. I guess I think it would be too embarrassing if my emotions were out there and obvious for all to see- even when it would be expected, or rude not to show them.

This has nothing to do with receiving gifts, but I'm reminded of an incident from when I was younger- I think I was 11. Some of my siblings (they're all younger than me) took our dog for a walk, and the dog was able to get away from them- we lived on a street that lied between two major busy roads at the time, and the dog bolted across one of these. They all ran after it, including my sister who was four at the time- and she ended up getting hit by a car. It wasn't too serious, her ankle was run over, but she and my mom went to the hospital, all of my other siblings went to a neighbor's house, and I was left at home. When my dad returned home, he had no idea what had happened- this was before cell phones, and he worked as an independent contractor- no way to reach him. So when he asked me where everyone was, I replied very nonchalantly, "Gina was hit by a car, mom's with her at the hospital, and everyone else is at Julie's." His jaw literally hit the floor, and I was still standing there blankly as if it were no big deal.

 

[dman]

I think you are in danger of making yourself believe you have an anxiety disorder. Sometimes the language we use, in our head, determines the emotions we feel. Instead of thinking your going through something, can you not describe it to yourself as self consciousness or stage fright. Everyone gets that .

 

[sanitariumcalls]

Not entirely but similar...

When I get gifts, I am sincerely happy and grateful, but in my awkwardness/fear I will over-thank people, thinking I didn't express my feelings adequately enough, so people get a little weirded out.

 

[BlueDays]

I'm actually the opposite if someone is good to me - I tend to be overly profuse. I think it's because I'm paranoid of coming across as ungrateful.

^This! I sometimes make things awkward by saying thank-you too much when I am given something.

 

[punklove]

I know exactly how you feel. Every year on christmas or my birthday I'll get so freaking anxious.. it's awful. Maybe just pretend your someone else for a second and fake it a bit.. I do that and usually it works.