How are you feeling?

BlueDays

BlueDays

1
PugofCrydee said:
Like a Borg

latest


Just part of the collective with no real purpose other than to work as a drone..
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So true!
When you can get fired just for getting very sick (through no fault of your own), you know you're nothing but a warm machine - that can be easily and quickly replaced, with another one. :sad:


They say stress is a killer. I expect to be fertiliser in a few years then.
 
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
PugofCrydee said:
Sorry for taking so long in replying, sometimes I lose track of posts.

So yea, I can definitely identify with your post. I feel angry with the world and society in general a lot of the time. I feel as though people in general have such double standards. Most people preach the politically correct talk, but very few actually practice it. I like to try at least. I see so many people just treating others like s h i t, not being honest with each other, being two faced etc. Sometimes they even come to me and 'confide' in me that they don't like this person for this or that reason, but are then nice to their face. I really f u c k i n g hate that. I guess thats what leads me to my anger and resentment for people in general. What keeps my faith (so to speak) is I know there is the odd individual who genuinely tries to be a good person.

I think I'm in a similar situation to you as far as friends - or lack of - goes. I know my social skills aren't great, but I think for me it's because I'm simply not interested in people's bull s h i t.

I really couldn't care less if Johnny's Fathers Aunt's sisters nephew's third cousin's daughter bought a cat.
Funny thing is, I've had quite a few people tell me I'm good to talk to, a funny guy etc etc.. but I think that's more when it's one on one conversation. Put me in a group in a social situation... ugh!

Anyways, currently I have been trying hard to fit in, without being untrue to myself. With - might I add - little results to speak of. Boredom can be a problem at times, so I try to do something that I can get SOME enjoyment out of.
I like beach combing especially during or after rough/stormy weather. So I try to get out and do that when the opportunity comes along.
I like the cinema - even going by myself. Although there hasn't been many movies I actually want to see lately.
I like exploring on my bike, hiking, music, playing the drums just to name a few more. About a month ago I went up into a town in the Adelaide hills called 'Stirling'. It was a cool overcast day, almost raining, more like a drizzle at times. But I just walked about the town, on the surrounding tracks through the forest and just explored. I really enjoyed it. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have a friend to enjoy it with. Someone who we know and accept & support each other as friends.

What are some things you like to do? Or maybe have thought of doing but never have? I think it's easy to start small. With something simple.

One thing I have learnt is, the hardest part is starting - or to get the ball rolling.
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My post was more about people not responding to me a lot but I see what you're saying though. With me it is more of boredom because I'm anxious or scared to do things I'd like to do most of time. Cool hobbies. What is beach combing? I like to watch YouTube videos, listen to music, read comments, and look at pictures. I thought of learning a language but I want to learn it for free and plus my motivation is low but I'm working a little on it. That's true that the hardest part is getting the ball rolling.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Tired. Barely slept properly the past few days, trying to just get things done that I’ve been putting on hold. Haven’t really been eating right, either, pretty sure I’ve lost weight as a result.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
FountainandFairfax said:
I hurt my back riding my bicycle, lolzlawlz.
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Did you fall off it, Fountain!?



I did advise you that I didn't think having that huge front wheel, was a good idea though, Fountain.

h744649B0


:p



With every very person I come by, I am constanly trying to figure out what they are thinking, what their life is like, are they happy, sad, have they been lucky in life, do they have to struggle each and every day, do they have lots/enough friends, does someone love them, are they still in contact with their parents, do their parents help them in their adult life, are they lucky enough to have a good job, do they have a job that makes their life hell, do they have successful kids, do they think about what the meaning of their existence is, or do they have a fulfilling passion that gives them a reason to want to get up in the morning every day?????

I think I think too much. :eek:h: :kickingmyself: :sad:
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Kiwong said:
People are inconsitent they change like weather.One day they are friendly next they are angry.
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That is to be expected nowadays, Kiwong. Most people are stressed to the max in one way or another. Most people are stuck on the never-ending-high-speed treadmill that you need to be running on, just to survive now.

(With the exception of the wealthy, who have inherited a ready-made-guaranteed-job in their parent's company, or have parents/in laws with good contacts in the business world who can offer them a good job - straight out of college. And can then purchase a business of their own, then a house - because they don't have a large student debt to pay off because their wealthy parents paid for their college education etc)
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
That is to be expected nowadays, Kiwong. Most people are stressed to the max in one way or another. Most people are stuck on the never-ending-high-speed treadmill that you need to be running on, just to survive now.

(With the exception of the wealthy, who have inherited a ready-made-guaranteed-job in their parent's company, or have parents/in laws with good contacts in the business world who can offer them a good job - straight out of college. And can then purchase a business of their own, then a house - because they don't have a large student debt to pay off because their wealthy parents paid for their college education etc)
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I really find it hard when people are angry towards me, and I am not sure why.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Kiwong said:
I really find it hard when people are angry towards me, and I am not sure why.
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I think for someone suffering with SA, dealing with a person being angry at us is a shock to the system. Because we are suddenly put on the spot! :eek:
We have to judge, think, and respond quickly to a situation without any warning - and that can be terrifying to people with SA!

It is also energy draining, because the SA magnifys the fight-or-flight response, which is triggered instantly, by the person directing their anger at us. :sad:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Quite... knackered. Fatigued. Cannae be arsed. Yet, ah feel ah huv tae give maself something to do, just to keep from being bored. Doesnae exactly help that, because of that, I end up coming up with more way to piss off my mother by rearranging the layout of my room. :eek:mg: :bigsmile:
 
worrywort

worrywort

Well-known member
Just feeling the need to vent. I think I'm having a problem with feeling like a bad person. Like I don't help others enough. I'm noticing more and more a spirit inside me that is very scrooge-like. It's a spirit that just wants everyone to leave me alone. I don't want to help other's with their problems anymore. But I also have this fear in my mind that one day I'll need others for something, and if I don't help others now, I won't feel deserving when I ask for their help then. But every time I feel like I should offer my help to someone I feel very aware of the social energy it may cost me if I make this commitment. If the person begins taking me up on my offer to help, I may find myself giving up several evenings and phone calls, and I may end up developing a new relationship with the person where it becomes routine for them to turn to me for help all the time, and I'll get stuck in the routine and it'll become expected of me.

I don't know why this is. I don't know whether it's cause I feel unloved myself and so something in me doesn't want to love others anymore, until I feel some kind of love myself. But I sense that's selfish to think that, and the right thing to do is to love others first, and not to think of myself at all. Sometimes I feel like that and it feels good. Maybe I'm just feeling particularly depressed right now and that's why my heart to help has shrivelled too much.

I think all my relationships are screwed up. I feel like there are only a few people in my life who I genuinely like, and with these people I feel like I have tons of time and energy for. But for everyone else, it all feels like a bit of a chore.

I think I'll just carry on helping others to the extent I feel I'm able to right now, and if it's not enough, and one day I find myself in need, well, I'll just have to accept it and face my problems alone.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Feeling like I'm being pushed around by life, bullied. Circumstances at the moment make it difficult for me to work towards what I want.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Feeling unsure of myself, directionless. :idontknow: On the other hand, ah feel like ah’ve got naebuddy tae rely upon or turn to whenever I ask for help. Probably why I burden myself with so much responsibility? :sad:
My family just gives me excuse after excuse, then wonders why ah rarely ask anything of them. :eek:mg: :kickingmyself:

On a slightly more cheery note, I’m getting back into making music. After a 3 month break from it.
 
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PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Ah fk it.

I've done plenty this morning, on my only day off work in 9 days. I'm sittin down, having a drink of JDaniels and Wow'ing it for an hour.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
PugofCrydee said:
Ah fk it.

I've done plenty this morning, on my only day off work in 9 days. I'm sittin down, having a drink of JDaniels and Wow'ing it for an hour.
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"On my only day off work in 9 days"!? ....that's pretty severe! :sad:
I hope you are being sufficiently compensated for it!


I am feeling like one of those circus animals that has to do tricks for the audience, and if I don't perform perfectly, I get whipped and deprived of food after the show.
No wonder they have to make it as difficult as possible (in my country at least) - and attach a horrible stigma to suicide - for people who want to end their own lives.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
BlueDays said:
"On my only day off work in 9 days"!? ....that's pretty severe! :sad:
I hope you are being sufficiently compensated for it!
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Well if you call working for money to keep paying bills just to exist in modern society, or as I like to say - keep the wolves from my door - then, yes, just barely.
 
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