How are you feeling?

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Had a day that I love.


But 'tis now at the end of it..... and I'm once again feelin pretty s h i t t y with the world.
 
Fought off machine gun level stress, from three different aggressors, today.

I want so badly to crawl up out of the trench and stand up, so I can get shot by the enemy.

No nerves left to feel anything anymore. My brain's neurons have been ripped to pieces.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Fought off machine gun level stress, from three different aggressors, today.

I want so badly to crawl up out of the trench and stand up, so I can get shot by the enemy.

No nerves left to feel anything anymore. My brain's neurons have been ripped to pieces.

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I hate to hear that Blue.

https://media.giphy.com/media/f2fVSJWddYb6g/giphy.gif

I love this place. SPW is like someone shinning a torch down to me, while I am stuck down in a very deep, completely dark, old well.
All the users in here are 24 carat gold. Just sayin' :)

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(@Fountain & Pug - obligatory note to let you guys know that I will "Thank" your posts when my "Thanks" buttons are replenished. I used them all up yesterday)
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Exhausted, but I can’t sleep. Just no long git back from a great music gig in Glasgow. Well, great with expectation to the opening, last minute, local support duo who were complete n’ utter $h!%* in my opinion.

That’s the 2nd gig I’ve attended this month where ah hud to suffer through a pish, mediocre opening band n’ thought to myself:

“What a load o’ $h!%*... ah could write better songs”
Challenge accepted... ya c*nt!

So, needless to say, am feeling quite inspired. Just a shame ah don’t live somewhere more rural, middle of nowhere. Cuz then notion of staying awake for 12 hours, recording music ideas wouldn’t seem weird.

Also, I’ve finally got my name on the lease of the family home. So I now have partial ownership of the bit.
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Meaning, next time there’s a massive family row that escalates to the point of me getting involved, and I say: “Right!! You, you n’ you... F*ck off ! Oot now!” My mother and older sisters can’t snap at me, telling me it’s not my house.
 
Also, I’ve finally got my name on the lease of the family home. So I now have partial ownership of the bit.
happy-dancing.gif
Meaning, next time there’s a massive family row that escalates to the point of me getting involved, and I say: “Right!! You, you n’ you... F*ck off ! Oot now!” My mother and older sisters can’t snap at me, telling me it’s not my house.
Good on you for getting that done, Graeme. :thumbup:


Today has been a billion times easier than yesterday, which is such a huge relief.
That saying of "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" should be changed to "What doesn't kill you, makes you so exhausted and burnt out, that it is an enormous struggle just to resist jumping off a very tall building" :eek:h:
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"

When I hear that saying I always think.. 'what if you were in a car crash, the car burst into flames, in the process of being dragged from the burning wreck your injured spinal column was severed.

You awaken from a coma 6 months later to find you're horribly burnt all over, you're a quadriplegic and have lost the ability to talk properly due to brain damage.

Ok I didn't die and I doubt I'd be stronger.... umm.. yea. :giggle:

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When I hear that saying I always think.. 'what if you were in a car crash, the car burst into flames, in the process of being dragged from the burning wreck your injured spinal column was severed.

You awaken from a coma 6 months later to find you're horribly burnt all over, you're a quadriplegic and have lost the ability to talk properly due to brain damage.

Ok I didn't die and I doubt I'd be stronger.... umm.. yea. :giggle:
Those are more brilliant alternatives to that saying! :p :applause:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
F*ckin’ great ! Inspired, even. Still haven’t come down from the experience of that concert on Thursday night, there. Barely slept for 3 days, cuz I’m feeling creative.

And my oldest sister has set me the challenge of teaching her how to play a whole song on bass guitar before my 31st birthday, not just the main riff of a song. I’ve accepted that challenge, but she’s keen to learn so we’ll see how it goes.
 
It appears I lost the ability to deal with other people's emotions.
I have a theory that a person's brain sometimes shutting down the ability for you to feel empathy for the emotions of others, is not necessarily bad, but just a survival mechanism.

A bit like how your body restricts blood flow to your outer limbs when it is freezing cold, to maintain your core body temperature necessary for survival.
Yes, that may result in the flesh of your fingers, toes and feet dying from lack of sufficient blood supply - Frostbite. Resulting in the need to amputate the dead tissue.
But the major organs of your body needed for survival, are not damaged by any cold blood, circulating back from these freezing outer parts.

So likewise, under heightened mental stress, your subconscious shuts down your sensor for picking up and responding appropriately to another person's emotions. It is just your brain going into survival mode.
It's making sure that under a potentially life threatening mental stress load, it is maintaining your own mental capacity, by only concentrating on dealing with your own emotions first.

I might be wrong of course, it is just a theory.
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I have a theory that a person's brain sometimes shutting down the ability for you to feel empathy for the emotions of others, is not necessarily bad, but just a survival mechanism.

A bit like how your body restricts blood flow to your outer limbs when it is freezing cold, to maintain your core body temperature necessary for survival.
Yes, that may result in the flesh of your fingers, toes and feet dying from lack of sufficient blood supply - Frostbite. Resulting in the need to amputate the dead tissue.
But the major organs of your body needed for survival, are not damaged by any cold blood, circulating back from these freezing outer parts.

So likewise, under heightened mental stress, your subconscious shuts down your sensor for picking up and responding appropriately to another person's emotions. It is just your brain going into survival mode.
It's making sure that under a potentially life threatening mental stress load, it is maintaining your own mental capacity, by only concentrating on dealing with your own emotions first.

I might be wrong of course, it is just a theory.

Funny you would say that, because what you just described is my normal state. I've shut myself down from other's emotions for years now as a survival mechanism because I get overwhelmed too easily, and it was not working out on the work market. No need to amputate anything so far, but of course it's not great relationship-wise since as soon as there is some drama, I start quoting Marty's back to the future (it's heavy, doc...)

I lost this ability because I quit my job for more than a year and mostly stayed alone for all this time, and now I think I have to rebuild this shell.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Like I need to get away. This time of year I always have a yearning to go back to New Zealand and walk the Milford Track again.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Things are going a bit too well... how can I f*ck this up? :thinking:

Only joking. :bigsmile: Things huv been going great, lately. Am getting a pretty positive response since putting my own original music out there. My name is on the lease to the family home, so ah finally huv a bit mair clout and I’m not being left outta decisions, like ah wus before.

Ah know, ah should move out. But, if there’s no place currently up for sale that would meet my accessibility requirements, then getting partial ownship of the house I grew up in is good enough for now.
 

lily

Well-known member
Things are going a bit too well... how can I f*ck this up? :thinking:

Only joking. :bigsmile: Things huv been going great, lately. Am getting a pretty positive response since putting my own original music out there. My name is on the lease to the family home, so ah finally huv a bit mair clout and I’m not being left outta decisions, like ah wus before.

Ah know, ah should move out. But, if there’s no place currently up for sale that would meet my accessibility requirements, then getting partial ownship of the house I grew up in is good enough for now.
Nice :) ...............
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Holy crap, that place is like illustrations out of a fairy tale book! :eek:

What is preventing you from going back again, Pug?

Well, the usual. Money being the big one. Then there's fitting things in with my job and responsibilities etc. Also, the track is closed for the winter months due to snow. It can get dangerous there.

About a month after I went last time, a woman was crossing a riverbed (boulder hopping) when the river level suddenly rose due to an upstream downpour. She became trapped in the middle and the river ended up sweeping her to her death while her two hiking mates looked on helplessly.

But.... I'm definitely going back.
 
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