How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Went to bed after a rather productive day - amazing what ye cun do when ye stop moping about. Could barely keep ma eyes open getting into ma bed.

Well, turns out, my eyes feel heavy wasn’t due to tiredness, cuz I’ve been up since 2am with the flu. :eek:mg:
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
I'm a wee bit depressed. Worrying about the future i guess. Going to bed ~6.30 pm each night, & gettin up ~10 am - thats 16 hrs, or 2/3rds of the day sleeping/etc, when it should be only 8 hrs sleeping/etc.

I can see now that i'll most likely get depressed at my new abode. I mean, why not? My life won't improve, i'll have the same mood issues, the same ways/habits (a few minor alterations will be needed for my flatmate's sake), the same lifestyle.

I was thinking it could be a "step up" in life, but what if it's a "step DOWN". It might be the beginning of the end of my life. That's what i'm worried about. :sad:

And i'm worried that i won't keep in touch enough with my "old friends" (chooks/farm), my family, my neighbors.
 
Last edited:
Marc7

Marc7

Well-known member
Not doing well. I'm avoiding things more than usual do to my anxiety, fear of the unknown, not wanting to feel inferior, and I haven't done it in 1-2 days. Which makes it worse is I checked on the people I been avoiding (Youtubers) today and I saw something that made me surprised, have anticipatory anxiety, and fear the unknown. It discouraged me even more to go back to watching them again :sad:.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Another sleepless night due to be full of the flu. At least there’s no thunder n’ lighting shower keeping me awake, like there was last night.

Other than that, ah feel like a right divvy - total spastic like. I just realised, thanks to a Google image search done a few moments ago, that I recently restrung my Les Paul electric guitar with the bridge saddle facing... backwards. :eek:mg:
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I watched Punch Drunk Love again today, I don't think I had seen it in about ten years or so. I had tried to watch it a few times between then and now, it's just a movie that can be hard to watch as it can really hit home in a lot of ways.

While I was watching it this time, I found myself hoping to myself that everything turns out okay for me in the future. I quit my job, and in doing so it will force the routine my life was on before to be changed. I did it because the routine I was in I knew was bad, and I am glad I did it. But I know for me, like the character in the movie, change can be very dramatic, and I hope for me it is for the good. I'm optimistic that it could be me choosing to take a spur of the moment flight to Hawaii and find a love that will change my life. I worry that that same optimism could make me more susceptible to make the phone call to the phone sex line full of con men.

For the first time in a while I just don't know what is going to happen in my life. It has me feeling as optimistic as I am worried.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
theslowesthand said:
I'm surviving at present, JUST, with the worry & stress of a possible move coming very soon. I'm even too terrified to check my email to see if i've been accepted as a tenant. It's all happening too fast for me, and i've become depressed in the last few days. The alcohol is not working for me very well either, & that's my main go-to. GOD knows how i'll survive at the next place, as there'll be too many changes, too many stresses. But there'll still be nature, and animals. But i'm NOT DESIGNED to live with another/s. Most days i'm in a grumpy mood, not wanting to talk, certainly not wanting to meet their friends & family. I've lived alone for over 20 years, you see...

But looking on the "bright" side, i'll have my MOMENTS of peace/etc, like now (with the rest of the time being "hellish" or at least very very dissatisfying).

I have put ~95+% of my belongings into storage, as i can't bear to part with it. That's 45 years of my life. I'm not ready to part with hardly any of it.
Click to expand...

Maybe now is a good time to turn over a "new leaf" and quit the booze? I know from experience it becomes a very bad habit of coping, and can pretty much completely ruin your life. Nothing like a new home to push you out of your shell and try new, healthier habits. Change can be so hard though, be easy on yourself.
20 yrs of living alone is a long time-wow! Maybe some roomies will be good for you and maybe you will make some friends in the chaos of it all. You enjoy animals and nature, me too. Try to volunteer at an animal rescue, I rescue dogs and I love it. That will be what you need to re-focus your energies on something else and feel good helping animals it's a win-win trust me.
I hope it works out for you. I would highly suggest having maybe even an AA group to go to to help you cope. It might all sound cliche, but what do you have to loose-ALL to gain.
Also I had all my crap in storage too too long and it was expensive and a complete drain!! Sell it. Down-size. Re-invent yourself. Get a haircut and some new/used clothes things like that. Try to say "F-U" to life and laugh at the pain right in the face! That's some ideas anyways :)
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Saw a flat a few days ago. I have a feeling that she has "sussed me out" (to be the "crazy" that i am), since she hasn't contacted me in the 5 days since i visited the flat. I emailed her today, saying "there's no rush to make any decisions" but i have a feeling she has already decided. But that's fine, as i'm ABSOLUTELY DREADING going flatting. I've convinced myself that it'll be a step DOWN & life will be HELLISH from then onwards. So my "handbrake" is well-and-truly on HARD at the moment.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
A C T I O N, C O M E _ O N! C O M E _ O N, A C T I O N!

(FFS, this site and its bl**dy swear filter & "tight-fisted" spaces rule & CAPS rules!!! :veryangry:)
 
Last edited:
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
I think it's more degrading/humiliating to be "attacked"/bullied when you are straight, but they're sure you're gay. :veryangry:.
It makes me feel like even more "freakish" than gay males are (no offense gay males).
 
Last edited:
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Someone threw a drink on my car either last night or Saturday night, I don't know precisely when because I didn't go anywhere yesterday so I didn't notice it until this morning.

I'm going to put a trail camera in my front window so I can catch them next time. It just sucks I gotta shell-out fifty bucks for something so unnecessary.
 
S

Sarah_M

1
I feel like I have BDD because I am consumed by how ugly I am and have contemplated suicide because of it. It's been triggered by some photos my friend took of me yesterday while we were hanging out - I am unconscionably ugly. I feel so embarrassed and like my quality of life is diminished by my appearance. Every time I look at those pictures I just cringe. In the mirror or in selfies I look so much better, but in pictures other people take of me I am hideous - that must be how I really look.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
I've been missing someone recently, whom i thought was a friend. She abandoned me when i needed her, and now i don't think i'll be friends with her anymore, as that's not what a friend does. :no:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
theslowesthand said:
My life will NEVER be "good". It'll forever be full of pain & suffering & loneliness & heartache. :sad:
Click to expand...

I’m starting to believe that of my life as well, sadly. Though, pain and suffering is summit ah got accustomed to at an early age. Heartache, that occurred later. As for loneliness... Kinda difficult to feel lonely when you’ve felt alone most o’ yer life. :idontknow: Does that makes sense? :question:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top