How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Goan yerself ! Best of luck to ya. :thumbup:
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I ate too much, it feels like I'm going to spring a leak if I move.
theslowesthand
Banned
Thanks handsome!
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I’d have thought recently turning 30 would see a change in how my family treats me, but... Nope! Still the same. Same attitude. Same entitled, narcissistic mentality that has little regard for me.
Or than “Do this, do that! Now!” :kickingmyself:
h: :thumbdown: :idontknow:
Or than “Do this, do that! Now!” :kickingmyself:
h: :thumbdown: :idontknow:
theslowesthand
Banned
'Your dream world is just about to end. Your dream world is just about to fall. Your dream world will fall' (song). That's how i feel about my life currently. :sad: :idontknow:
Day of grog & music today. Nothing else to do. Drinking it straight is a serious pain in the mouth! LOL
Listening to familiar & unfamiliar Midnight Oil songs/albums on youtube.
Just shouted the above lyrics at 2 women neighbours talking, just in my undies & a singlet. (the things i do when drunk, hehe)
Ha ha, i'm seriously screwed-up!. I WONDER how i'm gonna HIDE my true crazy/nuts self from my the flatmate/s i get. I'm really unsure if it's possible to do that. :thinking:. But i think, if i REALLY TRY HARD, i COULD hide my true self when i visit the house, for the initial meeting, so that hopefully i'm accepted as a flatmate. But how long i can keep up the fascade is anyone's guess. It'll depend what situations occur, how much i drink, what music i listen to, if i get depressed again, if they push my buttons, ..
Day of grog & music today. Nothing else to do. Drinking it straight is a serious pain in the mouth! LOL
Listening to familiar & unfamiliar Midnight Oil songs/albums on youtube.
Just shouted the above lyrics at 2 women neighbours talking, just in my undies & a singlet.
(the things i do when drunk, hehe)Ha ha, i'm seriously screwed-up!. I WONDER how i'm gonna HIDE my true crazy/nuts self from my the flatmate/s i get. I'm really unsure if it's possible to do that. :thinking:. But i think, if i REALLY TRY HARD, i COULD hide my true self when i visit the house, for the initial meeting, so that hopefully i'm accepted as a flatmate. But how long i can keep up the fascade is anyone's guess. It'll depend what situations occur, how much i drink, what music i listen to, if i get depressed again, if they push my buttons, ..
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vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
I feel torn. I feel like my notice at work was a good decision, but when my boss offered me a couple of shifts a week at a position I can at least stomach most of the time, it sounded like a good idea. I say I'm torn because in situations like this I know my guts or my instinct is usually right, but they are not on the same page at the moment.
My gut is telling me making a clean cut is the best option. I'm unhappy there, even in positions I don't mind. That mentality spills over into the rest of my life, and I find it impossible to enjoy being around people when not at work, because most of the time I spend around people is at work, which has so many triggers for negativity. I need to completely get away from it and focus on seeing the good in life again, and not dwelling on the things that bring me down.
My instincts, on the other hand, are bullet-pointing all the advantages of keeping a couple shifts. Going from full-time to no time is going to deplete your savings it tells me, a couple shifts would help. You'd be helping your co-workers make it through until they can find a viable replacement, it tells me. It's easier to find a job while employed. It's the safer choice.
And then my gut butts in again and tells me my instincts are really just a fear to end something comfortable and that I'm used to, even if it brings me unhappiness. My instincts rebut by saying the reality would not be that I would quit and a huge burden of negativity energy would be lifted off my shoulders, but rather a new weight of stress coming from a new need for money, and one that is now on a time limit.
I really don't know what I am going to do. On the drive home from work, I was on the side of my instincts. After writing this, my gut seems more appealing. My gut is almost always right, for better or worse. I think the real question is whether or not my mental well-being or financial well-being is more important. Obviously my mental and emotional health is more important, but without money I wouldn't be able to maintain those either. I have 4 to 5 months of savings, is that enough time to stabilize all those aspects of myself?
I wish I could see the future and know what choice is really best.
My gut is telling me making a clean cut is the best option. I'm unhappy there, even in positions I don't mind. That mentality spills over into the rest of my life, and I find it impossible to enjoy being around people when not at work, because most of the time I spend around people is at work, which has so many triggers for negativity. I need to completely get away from it and focus on seeing the good in life again, and not dwelling on the things that bring me down.
My instincts, on the other hand, are bullet-pointing all the advantages of keeping a couple shifts. Going from full-time to no time is going to deplete your savings it tells me, a couple shifts would help. You'd be helping your co-workers make it through until they can find a viable replacement, it tells me. It's easier to find a job while employed. It's the safer choice.
And then my gut butts in again and tells me my instincts are really just a fear to end something comfortable and that I'm used to, even if it brings me unhappiness. My instincts rebut by saying the reality would not be that I would quit and a huge burden of negativity energy would be lifted off my shoulders, but rather a new weight of stress coming from a new need for money, and one that is now on a time limit.
I really don't know what I am going to do. On the drive home from work, I was on the side of my instincts. After writing this, my gut seems more appealing. My gut is almost always right, for better or worse. I think the real question is whether or not my mental well-being or financial well-being is more important. Obviously my mental and emotional health is more important, but without money I wouldn't be able to maintain those either. I have 4 to 5 months of savings, is that enough time to stabilize all those aspects of myself?
I wish I could see the future and know what choice is really best.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Weightless... shut up, ha ha.
There's nothing like that unfettered feeling that comes from rebounding out of a major depressive episode.
There's nothing like that unfettered feeling that comes from rebounding out of a major depressive episode.
theslowesthand
Banned
Well done!. Do you know how you did it?
I try to keep those nasty ANTs at bay, by refusing to dwell on them, diverting my attention away from them. That and the anti-depressants seems to stop major depression these days. I still get moderately depressed from time to time though.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Go Wong! Expose yourself!!
theslowesthand
Banned
FULL DISCLOSURE ... i mean EXPOSURE ... i mean .......... EXCEL yourself ... put your best foot forward!!!
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theslowesthand
Banned
Want action, QUICK!
_(Of what kind? audio? physical? mental? emotional? sensory? chemical?)
_> Ufomammut - Idolum (album; heavy, but not TOO violent, to start-off with; ~34m want crazier/wilder?; violent comp game?) (10's)
___+ Drinking + Crisps/crackers/choc/etc
__ Ufomammut - ORO: Opus Alter (album; would QUEEN be as/more intense/wild/etc in some ways??) + (") (10's)
__ Queen - Greatest Hits (1) [1 hour long] (yes, it would be, as i thought) + (") (70s/80s)
__ Queen - Greatest Hits (2) [1 hour 20 minutes long] (49m) + (") (70s/80s)
__ Bruford - Gradually Going Tornado (4-5 songs) + (") (70s/80s)
__ King Crimson 21st Century Schizoid Man Live (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Vrooom (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Thrak (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Larks' Tongues in Aspic (song) + (") (70s)
_(Of what kind? audio? physical? mental? emotional? sensory? chemical?)
_> Ufomammut - Idolum (album; heavy, but not TOO violent, to start-off with; ~34m want crazier/wilder?; violent comp game?) (10's)
___+ Drinking + Crisps/crackers/choc/etc
__ Ufomammut - ORO: Opus Alter (album; would QUEEN be as/more intense/wild/etc in some ways??) + (") (10's)
__ Queen - Greatest Hits (1) [1 hour long] (yes, it would be, as i thought
) + (") (70s/80s)__ Queen - Greatest Hits (2) [1 hour 20 minutes long] (49m) + (") (70s/80s)
__ Bruford - Gradually Going Tornado (4-5 songs) + (") (70s/80s)
__ King Crimson 21st Century Schizoid Man Live (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Vrooom (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Thrak (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Larks' Tongues in Aspic (song) + (") (70s)
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Torn between independence and stay in a situation that makes me miserable. Purely for financial reasons. Don't what to do. :idontknow:
Ye sure can tell a lot about folk by how they treat others.
For example, yesterday, when I merely asked why ah wus'nae told about something, she angrily responded with:
Don't what that says to you lot, but to me it speaks about the son she supposed cares so much about. In other words: You don't matter. :sad:
But hey, I'm just like ma Dad so should be treated as such - like sh!*e. :thumbdown: Oh, but it's not nice when I do it to them... Is it f*ck ! :kickingmyself:
Ye sure can tell a lot about folk by how they treat others.
For example, yesterday, when I merely asked why ah wus'nae told about something, she angrily responded with:
"Well, it doesnae matter"
Don't what that says to you lot, but to me it speaks about the son she supposed cares so much about. In other words: You don't matter. :sad:
But hey, I'm just like ma Dad so should be treated as such - like sh!*e. :thumbdown: Oh, but it's not nice when I do it to them... Is it f*ck ! :kickingmyself:
BlueDays
1
Locked out of society.
Like a rat, forced to live in an outside drain. Only able to come out at night and forage for dropped crumbs and discarded scraps of food, that nobody in society wants.
If a member of society happens to come across me, looks down and notices me scurrying along the ground - a fierce expression of disgust and hatred immediately forms on their face.
:sad:
Like a rat, forced to live in an outside drain. Only able to come out at night and forage for dropped crumbs and discarded scraps of food, that nobody in society wants.
If a member of society happens to come across me, looks down and notices me scurrying along the ground - a fierce expression of disgust and hatred immediately forms on their face.
:sad:
theslowesthand
Banned
Action is WHAT? movement? shifting? change? escape? social?
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
depends on what context the word action is being used.
theslowesthand
Banned
The context is simply: 'I want action' (ie feeling restless/bored/sth)
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Happier in the last few days than I’ve been in about 10 months.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
The world is such a mean place for some of us. I can relate so much BlueDays. I have been feeding off crumbs, too. Hiding away more than locked. I prefer to think of it as a Monks existence more than a rat myself.
I think those who live happy, productive, successful lives in society are lucky. But...They wouldn't last a second in our shoes. They are so used to coasting through everything, acting unconsciously all the while. I think most all of those people have their heads up their a$$ so that makes it less bitter when I think about it. Tell them some real truths about the world and they would not know what to do. The more I learn the less I wish I knew. I thought it was supposed to work the opposite? All we can really do is take it day by day. That's what I know for sure. There's no thinking of the future for us rats, anyways!