How are you feeling?

KiaKaha

Banned
Two people unfriended me on facebook after saying hello - yeah silly but it still hurts. Just more confirmation that I am not someone anyone really wants to know.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Feeling very sleepy at the moment. A pleasant feeling.

Not looking forward to work tomorrow, though. But when do I ever. 8 hour shifts at minimum wage jobs suck. Or maybe 8 hour shifts suck no matter where they are :p

Sorry to be morbid/negative, but I sincerely hope I don't wake up tomorrow. Haha. I am so used to thinking that, that it isn't even sad to me any more. It just... is.

Really though, I need to stop posting negative stuff here. I may not feel great the majority of the time right now, but I can still make an effort to say nicer things or at least not say not so nice things so much.

Anywho, after yet another too-long post... Goodnight.
I think its always better to let your emotions out. I'm sorry you're feeling such way though, I hope things get better with you.
Two people unfriended me on facebook after saying hello - yeah silly but it still hurts. Just more confirmation that I am not someone anyone really wants to know.
I'm sorry Kia but I guess some people are just like that. It doesn't mean no one wants to know you.
thanks for ur suggestions....i hope that i dint make her feel bad..i hope it gets sorted out quickly
You're such a sweet person, you can never make anyone feel bad. Don't worry, I'm sure everything's going to be okay :)
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Started off feeling good and feeling like I was in great recover mode but just went to see another doctor today and been drinking since I got back, even tho I shouldn't be drinking while on these anti seizure pills I don't give a ****!!! Found out I'm gonna need surgery on my one shoulder. Which means on top of this 6 weeks of not playing guitar, I'm gonna need an additional 8 weeks to recover from surgery. **** this, **** that Im ****ing sick of this stupid ****ing bull****!!!! Better off ****ing killing myself, aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **** it I don't care why should anyone else. All I do is bitch about this stupid music ****, that's how my dad put it. Boohooo it's just a ****ing hobby, not like it makes my life significantly better. It's a joke that I take too seriously is what mom says. Urrrrgggg I should just die, why waste the surgeons materials and time to fix some piece of **** that will waste his life on music. Blaaaaaah

I have always admired you because you are passionate about your music. Being passionate about something is the very definition of doing something with your life.
 

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
I am depressed. Leaving my apartment.

Could I sell anything that I wanted to? No. Well, I sold my printer, which is great. I sold something. No one bought my chairs. No one bought my coffee table or tv. No one bought my bike. No one bought my microwave.

I want to cry.

I don't know what I am going to do with my bike. Or the microwave. The other things I can deal with donating. But not the bike or the microwave. I really want to cry. It all just failed.
 

lonely_drummer

Well-known member
I'm so sorry..

Don't be, not ur fault. I'm the one who did this to myself. I can't drink, can't smoke my herbs anymore, can't ****ing drive for a year. Gotta tweak out of pills 3 times a day for one year, minimum. Can't play any music for a minimum 14 weeks. Like my parents say, I deserve this. All I've done was think about myself. I abandoned my folks for music and this is what I get.
 

KiaKaha

Banned
I'm sorry Kia but I guess some people are just like that. It doesn't mean no one wants to know you.

I cant help feel worthless. I can only take so much rejection until I start to believe that there is something about me that is fundamentally wrong. Its painful to feel that people truly dont care about you, or want to know who you, or want to spend any time with you....not mattering in the world is what I am beginning to believe.

I wish I could meet some of you guys.... in the real world. It would bring some kind of joy to my life I am sure.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Started off feeling good and feeling like I was in great recover mode but just went to see another doctor today and been drinking since I got back, even tho I shouldn't be drinking while on these anti seizure pills I don't give a ****!!! Found out I'm gonna need surgery on my one shoulder. Which means on top of this 6 weeks of not playing guitar, I'm gonna need an additional 8 weeks to recover from surgery. **** this, **** that Im ****ing sick of this stupid ****ing bull****!!!! Better off ****ing killing myself, aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **** it I don't care why should anyone else. All I do is bitch about this stupid music ****, that's how my dad put it. Boohooo it's just a ****ing hobby, not like it makes my life significantly better. It's a joke that I take too seriously is what mom says. Urrrrgggg I should just die, why waste the surgeons materials and time to fix some piece of **** that will waste his life on music. Blaaaaaah
I'm sorry you feel this way, mate. It's a long process for healing but hopefully you can pull through.
 

Shyangel

Well-known member
@ Drummer:

I'm so very sorry about that horrible news. You will eventually, and you will be able to go back to what you love again. Just keep that in mind. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being passionate about something and living for that passion. It doesn't matter what the passion is, it's NEVER pathetic. it's admirable. You are a admirable awesome person, sincerely. Don't you ever forget that.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
@ Drummer:

I'm so very sorry about that horrible news. You will eventually, and you will be able to go back to what you love again. Just keep that in mind. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being passionate about something and living for that passion. It doesn't matter what the passion is, it's NEVER pathetic. it's admirable. You are a admirable awesome person, sincerely. Don't you ever forget that.
Exactly. It's a passion and that's awesome. There is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel so as long as you focus on that, hopefully you'll get through it with a lot less anguish.
 

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
Started off feeling good and feeling like I was in great recover mode but just went to see another doctor today and been drinking since I got back, even tho I shouldn't be drinking while on these anti seizure pills I don't give a ****!!! Found out I'm gonna need surgery on my one shoulder. Which means on top of this 6 weeks of not playing guitar, I'm gonna need an additional 8 weeks to recover from surgery. **** this, **** that Im ****ing sick of this stupid ****ing bull****!!!! Better off ****ing killing myself, aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **** it I don't care why should anyone else. All I do is bitch about this stupid music ****, that's how my dad put it. Boohooo it's just a ****ing hobby, not like it makes my life significantly better. It's a joke that I take too seriously is what mom says. Urrrrgggg I should just die, why waste the surgeons materials and time to fix some piece of **** that will waste his life on music. Blaaaaaah

If music makes you happy and music makes life worth living then it is not just a simple little hobby. It seems to bring you so much happiness, so your dad can **** off. Ya know? Do what you like to do and do what makes you happy, and screw anyone who tries to make you feel bad about it. He needs to stop being so closed minded and selfish.

Drummer, though, I think you need to take a deep breath. You will only momentarily not be able to play music. 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 2 months. It is a very short time in the whole scheme of things. You will be able to play music again. It will happen again. You have not lost your ability to play forever. There is no reason to give up over a couple of months of recovery.
 

KiaKaha

Banned
This sucks too much, mate! My inbox is open if you need it. I think you're worthy.

I think I must be pretty weak. Everyone seems to have some degree of strength to get over things and move on. Dust themselves off so to speak. I just get deflated, pile it on top of my self worth and feel like giving up, I end up sitting in a funk for weeks and weeks.

Weak. Shows what kind of person I am.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I think I must be pretty weak. Everyone seems to have some degree of strength to get over things and move on. Dust themselves off so to speak. I just get deflated, pile it on top of my self worth and feel like giving up, I end up sitting in a funk for weeks and weeks.

Weak. Shows what kind of person I am.
I get into a funk, too. It's depression and it sucks. ::(: Just because that happens doesn't mean you're weak. I'm really sorry you're going through it.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
@ Drummer:

I'm so very sorry about that horrible news. You will eventually, and you will be able to go back to what you love again. Just keep that in mind. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being passionate about something and living for that passion. It doesn't matter what the passion is, it's NEVER pathetic. it's admirable. You are a admirable awesome person, sincerely. Don't you ever forget that.
I completely agree with all of it. Hang in there drummer.
I think I must be pretty weak. Everyone seems to have some degree of strength to get over things and move on. Dust themselves off so to speak. I just get deflated, pile it on top of my self worth and feel like giving up, I end up sitting in a funk for weeks and weeks.

Weak. Shows what kind of person I am.
You're not weak. It takes me forever to get over something and move on. Its just so hard. I hope you feel better soon Kia :)
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
What did she say?

I tried talking about my dad with her, without arguing for once. I just asked my mum why my dad was always so awkward around me, everytime he'd visit? I mean, we never really talked much. I said I felt like there was a distance between us and that he didn't accept me and she said, pretty matter of fact: "That's because he didn't. He couldn't cope with the fact you have a physical disability. He was in denial about it". The coversation pretty much stopped at that. I didn't want to push the issue of my father's absence because I knew we were going to argue about it.
 
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