Sorry that I’m so late in responding to yer post, Marc.
I feel self-conscious about my voice and looks.
So do I. Have done for years…
So your mom hoards because she wants to buy everyone stuff to eat and drink?
Well… Funny you should say this, actually. Because my mum had stocked up on whole lotta food and drink for my sister, brother-in-law and niece coming to visit from Ireland. She (my mum) had bought all this - mainly well-known brand-name - food and drink months before they were set to arrive.
My oldest sister even tried to get an explanation for the reasoning behind this, our my mum just shrug her shoulders and laughed. :idontknow:
Anyway, our mum has all this food and drink stored away – behind the couch, in the storage room under the stairs – in the hope neither me or my sister will nag about it. She goes to unpack it all a week before the family visit… And it’s all out of date and had to be thrown out.
mg:
Even when she was out shopping with my older sister, niece and brother-in-law, they – with exception of my niece – were constantly asking why she bought certain things and if she really needed them. But when my oldest sister and I do, we’re nagging and bullying.
But the hoarding is pretty bad, like generally speaking. It’s why I stopped going shopping with my mum because, whenever she’d say she was just going to get what she had on her shopping list, we’d end up coming away with bags and bags of stuff bought purely because the price was cheap. And we’d have spent like £60, and mum would be surprised and shocked by this.
Compare that with me when our mum went to Ireland for a week, and my sister and I were responsible for the shopping. We just went in, got what we need for the week ahead – a few treats (sweets, a couple magazine) – and that was it.
And the thing is, we’re all telling our mum that this hoarding has to stop, but she just won’t listen or see sense on the matter.
I mean so I don't feel self-conscious and feel good about myself.
Oh right, I see.
Are the girls giving you bad or good looks? Maybe you should make eye contact and smile.
As someone who frequently get gawked at, I don’t know. It’s hard to tell if girls are giving me good or bad looks when their gaze darts away the moment I’ve noticed them staring at me. Like that girl a few weeks ago who kept checking me out from behind her smartphone while we wait for our respective appointments in the hospital waiting room.
Don’t get me wrong, I do smile and make eye contact but it’s just awkward for the most part. Them giggling, me not knowing what to say. Plus, me usually being with family just makes the situation weird. Like, they’ll always make a scene if they catch checking out or even saying hello to a girl; or if a girl’s checking me out and embarrass me.
At least that chubby lassie who works in my local supermarket made it blatantly obvious she was checking me out – me being a few inches taller than her. So it was more noticeable that she was eyeing me up n’ down.
Yes you should go back into it.
Aye, definitely. Might make it a New Years Resolution? :question: Since I’ve been lazy these past few months or so. Procrastinated on working out more regularly as of late.
Standard is easy, intermediate is medium, and credit is hard difficulty in grades?
Yeah, that’s how my secondary school defined the grades.
What was your reputation?
Well, what d'ye think, man? I went into full rage-mode in the middle of ma primary school playground in front of my peers, and scared the crap outta the lads who were bullying me. Basically, I'd become Francis Begbie from
Transpotting
Oh, I probably should mention, the main lad who picked on me - that was the older brother of a girl who was in the same class as me for most of primary school.
What do you mean you were born with a lighter skin tone so it is was harder to fit in? I can relate as I don't know what to call myself black or mixed black.
Just that it was harder to integrate, make friends and feel as though I belonged growing up. I mean my mum would often be asked if she’d adopted me from Africa by strangers, whenever we’d be out in public; as I had curly afro hair when I was a wee lad. And I’d get told to stop trying to “be white” whenever I did try to fit in with my peers.
Also, there’s not the same sense of community in the south of Scotland, compared to the central more cities or the Scottish Highlands. Even when my taste in music changed in my teens, my family started to think of me as weird.
Just clarifying, your youngest of two half-sisters resented you because you got all the gifts you wanted from your older sister?
Yeah. It caused many an argument growing up, but then that’s one of my main memory of my childhood. Hearing my mum and sisters argue about something.
Why was the "talk" off limits?
Don’t know really. I think it was partly because of my disability and because my mum’s staunchly conservative, and a prude when it comes to the topic of sex. Also, I got the whole feminist logic of male sexuality being sinful and wrong whenever I attempted to discuss sex or relationships.
