How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Must be great when things are going well for ye in life, huh? If only mine were like that.
Constantly feeling obligated to do whatever ma family tell me, or else...
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Hard to say, really. Would you trust family if they proceeded to lie to yer face, then lie in order justify their reason for lying, if that makes sense? :question: Seems being honest makes ya total bawbag these day, huh? :kickingmyself: :veryangry: :thumbdown: Ah know, trust issues a plenty!
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I'm not even allowed to enjoy simplest of things without having my freedom to decide for myself taken from me. :sad: I despise my family. Everytime I do something for me, they've got tae get a word as if ah f**kin' asked 'em or care what they think.

Ah should've just died at birth, at least then I'd huv been spare this miserable, emasculating, joke of an existence that I live. Because, believe me, ah wouldnae wish anybuddy to suffer the shite ah go through on an almost daily basis.
Come to think of it, ah don't even know why ah still tolerate it? :idontknow:
 

mantishugo

Well-known member
I'm not feel well, suffering from cold and mild headache. I have tried drinking ginger and black pepper juice but it only created fire in my stomach. Anybody with any remedial idea?
 

S_Spartan

Well-known member
I'm not feel well, suffering from cold and mild headache. I have tried drinking ginger and black pepper juice but it only created fire in my stomach. Anybody with any remedial idea?


No ideas but I currently have a cold and insomnia, so I'm kinda there with you.
 
3rd day without any alcohol (due to having run out - i intend to get more, but have been putting off going to town). I'm not an alcoholic, but i do get the "empty beer bottle blues" whenever i stop, it seems. My theory is that the hops in beer (spirits is sth else) soothes my nerves, and without it i get nervy, irritable, restless, etc. So i do have a bit of reliance or dependency on alcohol .. so perhaps i am semi-alcohlic?
 

defiance

Well-known member
Well 2017 is right around the corner and I am scared because I fear it will be the same thing all over again. Again I shall do my best to make something positive happen, but who knows. I really do wonder if I can get better. Oh man....this life....it hurts.... a lot.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
Sorry that I’m so late in responding to yer post, Marc.

It's okay.

So do I. Have done for years…

I have just started caring about my voice recently and cared about my looks for years.

Well… Funny you should say this, actually. Because my mum had stocked up on whole lotta food and drink for my sister, brother-in-law and niece coming to visit from Ireland. She (my mum) had bought all this - mainly well-known brand-name - food and drink months before they were set to arrive.

My oldest sister even tried to get an explanation for the reasoning behind this, our my mum just shrug her shoulders and laughed. :idontknow:

Anyway, our mum has all this food and drink stored away – behind the couch, in the storage room under the stairs – in the hope neither me or my sister will nag about it. She goes to unpack it all a week before the family visit… And it’s all out of date and had to be thrown out. :eek:mg:

Even when she was out shopping with my older sister, niece and brother-in-law, they – with exception of my niece – were constantly asking why she bought certain things and if she really needed them. But when my oldest sister and I do, we’re nagging and bullying.

But the hoarding is pretty bad, like generally speaking. It’s why I stopped going shopping with my mum because, whenever she’d say she was just going to get what she had on her shopping list, we’d end up coming away with bags and bags of stuff bought purely because the price was cheap. And we’d have spent like £60, and mum would be surprised and shocked by this.

Compare that with me when our mum went to Ireland for a week, and my sister and I were responsible for the shopping. We just went in, got what we need for the week ahead – a few treats (sweets, a couple magazine) – and that was it.

And the thing is, we’re all telling our mum that this hoarding has to stop, but she just won’t listen or see sense on the matter.

So you guys ended up throwing the old things out? How much money is the symbol with the 60 with it?

This is the same sister with the niece and brother in law?


Oh right, I see.

Yea I'm gaining weight.

As someone who frequently get gawked at, I don’t know. It’s hard to tell if girls are giving me good or bad looks when their gaze darts away the moment I’ve noticed them staring at me. Like that girl a few weeks ago who kept checking me out from behind her smartphone while we wait for our respective appointments in the hospital waiting room.

Don’t get me wrong, I do smile and make eye contact but it’s just awkward for the most part. Them giggling, me not knowing what to say. Plus, me usually being with family just makes the situation weird. Like, they’ll always make a scene if they catch checking out or even saying hello to a girl; or if a girl’s checking me out and embarrass me.

At least that chubby lassie who works in my local supermarket made it blatantly obvious she was checking me out – me being a few inches taller than her. So it was more noticeable that she was eyeing me up n’ down. :giggle:

So does it go further when you check them out or they check you out? Even though you make eye contact, smile, and sometimes say hello.

Aye, definitely. Might make it a New Years Resolution? :question: Since I’ve been lazy these past few months or so. Procrastinated on working out more regularly as of late.

Good!

Yeah, that’s how my secondary school defined the grades.

Oh I figured that.


Well, what d'ye think, man? I went into full rage-mode in the middle of ma primary school playground in front of my peers, and scared the crap outta the lads who were bullying me. Basically, I'd become Francis Begbie from Transpotting

Oh, I probably should mention, the main lad who picked on me - that was the older brother of a girl who was in the same class as me for most of primary school.

So they think your crazy then? Who is Francis Begbie from Transpotting?

Just that it was harder to integrate, make friends and feel as though I belonged growing up. I mean my mum would often be asked if she’d adopted me from Africa by strangers, whenever we’d be out in public; as I had curly afro hair when I was a wee lad. And I’d get told to stop trying to “be white” whenever I did try to fit in with my peers.

Also, there’s not the same sense of community in the south of Scotland, compared to the central more cities or the Scottish Highlands. Even when my taste in music changed in my teens, my family started to think of me as weird.

You mean it harder to fit in as a darker or lighter skin tone? That's messed up that people thought you were adopted from Africa? Why did they think you were trying "be white"?

You mean the mixed community in south of Scotland? How does your mixed heritage have to do with your taste of music?


Yeah. It caused many an argument growing up, but then that’s one of my main memory of my childhood. Hearing my mum and sisters argue about something.

So your mother and sisters argued about your sisters resenting you?

Don’t know really. I think it was partly because of my disability and because my mum’s staunchly conservative, and a prude when it comes to the topic of sex. Also, I got the whole feminist logic of male sexuality being sinful and wrong whenever I attempted to discuss sex or relationships.

Oh. That sucks. By conservative you mean traditional or she wants things to stay the same?
 

noxy

New member
I am new here, first I feel so much better to come to a place with people I can relate with, feeling a bit at ease to be in the company of people alike me :kiss:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Let's see... I don't have the heart to tell my oldest sibling she's actually wrong about something, since I know she'll feel humilated. As she prides herself on never being wrong... ever.

Yet again, all responsibility is upon me. As I'm charged with motivating my mum to following through on things she's tends to put off or complain about having to do. Clear outs; getting my room redecorated, etc. It'll never happen, like. She never listens to me. Never has, never will...

But I'm the one who just tolerates the abuse... Because ah can't leave. God forbid, I actually be happy, huh? At least it's just mental mind-f**kery now; like being expected to know what my mum means when she's speaking in vague terms that only makes sense to her. :eek:h:

And I'm under increasing to be more like my siblings. Outgoing, loud, obnoxious; into the same things, and so on. Since all I seem to get is never-ending criticism whenever I'm just "being myself". :kickingmyself:

Aye, ya could say: "Och, just ignore 'em, Graeme. Be yerself". But it's harder to do that when they are actually telling you how you should be, what'cha should think, what'cha should like, etc. :kickingmyself:
 
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Can't work out what to do for new years turnover. I have problems with such decisions. I'll probably do nothing, just have my usual night. Seems a waste to waste this moment, & not do anything special. Oh well... :idontknow:
 

planemo

Well-known member
I feel humiliated to be me and angry that my life isn't better/I didn't plant seeds so I would be enjoying the fruits of my labor right now. I hate being that person who only says and seldom does out of fear :/

I can relate *hugs*
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just questioning why I continue to endure this hellish existence. :sad:
Constantly being lied to, emasculated, and made to look like a fool by my own family. :kickingmyself: But that's fine, cuz they love me, ya see?
 
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