Skipping Graduation

jaim38

Well-known member
I will be graduating from college this fall, but won't be attending the commencement ceremony. Does anybody give a d*mn about it?

I get angry people telling me I'm stupid because I won't be attending. They think I was too frightened to attend just because of some verbal bullies in class. They don't understand me at all! Sometimes I want to tell them “hey you know the definition of introvert, shy, and social phobia? It means the person doesn't enjoy being around people. It's pretty self explanatory why I will be skipping highly populated events like graduation ceremonies.” So I have to wonder, do those people truly care about me or do they care more about themselves?

In fact, this ISN'T the first time I'll be skipping a ceremony. Since high school, I've skipped awards ceremonies. I just took the award certificates and ran. I also skipped my high school graduation ceremony. I never bought the graduation regalia. I still remember clearly what I did that day. No, I did not cry my eyes out, become depressed like sh*t, etc. I went to the library, checked out some books, and watched a movie at home. This is my definition of “fun”. I was happy doing the things I did. And I don't regret it because I know the graduation ceremony would have sucked.

In high school, the only cereomony I attended was the honor society induction ceremony. Waiting in line was no fun. It was boring, and I grew restless. The girls in front of me were looking and talking about me. It was weird. And everybody was very well dressed, except for me. I had on a tshirt and some pants, while they wore more formal clothes. When they called my name, I went onstage to get my certificate but could see a presenter chuckling at me, for a split second, before he quickly stopped. When I got off stage, I got many weird stares from certain schoolmates and parents. Some of them laughed, or talked about me. I think it was because of my informal dress, which made me stood out. And I was really nervous the whole time. I told myself I won't force myself to go through this nightmare again.

This time, I won't be attending my college commencement ceremony for various reasons. As I mentioned before, I don't like being around large groups of people. The entire ceremony would be 5-6 hours, and that's not counting traffic. I don't have the patience to wait this long. I could watch 2-3 movies in this amount of time, so it's not worth it. I also don't want to bring my parents with me; I do admit I have a fear of people meeting my parents. My dad has banged up teeth, smelly breath, and has sudden sleepwalking episodes (which could come anytime, even when he's awake). Having to sit and wait for 5-6 hours will definitely put my dad to sleep. I don't want to reveal my mom's lunacy to the world either. The verbal bullies in class, well, they only play a tiny part in my decision not to attend. I've been planning NOT to attend the commencement ceremony a while back, even BEFORE I met those bullies. People tell me, “they get the last laugh, they're mooning you...blah blah”, but I don't even feel this way at all.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
I've ducked out of 4 major graduation ceremonies so far. :thumbup:

*edit*

Wait, 5. I forgot one. :bigsmile:
 
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LeDiskoLove99

Well-known member
First of all congratulations! You graduated college, that's EXCELLENT! And I totally understand why you aren't going, don't let anyone bug you over it. If you don't feel comfortable going, don't go. Hey who cares? You still graduated! That's still something to be majorly proud of, screw the ceremony, have one in your head! Haha.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I've ducked out of 4 major graduation ceremonies so far. :thumbup:

*edit*

Wait, 5. I forgot one. :bigsmile:

That's a lot! Let's see, there's elementary, intermediate, high school, college, and grad school graduation. The only graduations I went to are the ones in elementary and middle schools. In both graduations, everybody was dead quiet when I got up to get my awards. Nobody clapped/applauded, not even my so-called "friends". Yes, I was very unpopular.

First of all congratulations! You graduated college, that's EXCELLENT! And I totally understand why you aren't going, don't let anyone bug you over it. If you don't feel comfortable going, don't go. Hey who cares? You still graduated! That's still something to be majorly proud of, screw the ceremony, have one in your head! Haha.

Thanks! Exactly, the ceremony is just that. True graduation is when I pass all my courses and get the diploma. One could attend the ceremony, fail the courses, and still not graduate.
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
The last graduation ceremony that meant anything to me was when I graduated from 8th grade. Didn't do highschool or college ceremonies. I find stuff like that to be really boring.

Also, congrats. :)
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Heh. Wasn't counting grade school stuff. I definitely would have opted out of any such ceremonies if I'd had a choice, and had there actually been any.

I absolutely cannot stand any sort of official, ceremonial occasion. I can't even deal with other peoples' weddings. I was morally obligated to attend that of a close friend once, and it was a freakin' nightmare for me.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I went to my graduation ceremonies for university. My father was there to support me. It was something I was proud of. I didn't got to my high school presentation, it was something I didn't want to acknowledge.
 

hardy

Well-known member
Dear Jaim,

I am 32 and have seen all these problems earlier...but i have never had to deal with so much. My friends were nicer, parents quite cool. I wish you lots of strength. You are a sweet-heart from what i see in your messages. I can relate to you in some ways i think..! What with the Buddhism and all..!?

But please don't forget to appreciate the good one's for all the bullies and mean people out there. We forget to be grateful to all the things we have and that causes depression. For all the bullies in my life, i found an angel later on in my life. Karma? i think so...i would never have appreciated the geeks and the badly bullied people if i hadn't got a glimpse of how it feels.
 
Congratulations! :) I didn't go to my college graduation either. I didn't want to hear all the speeches and the crap coming from the normal dog and pony show of politicians and bureaucrats. So I didn't go.
 
hunny you shouldn't be negative like that
I know how you feel I suffer too from this shit but you should keep trying till your last breath
maybe you will say what is going to help if I went to my graduation ceremony
its not going to help me to get over my phobia :eek:

well you don't know ?? anything could help you and make you close to your target which is getting over your phobia :perfect:
 

Odo

Banned
I attended mine... I didn't want to go because I wasn't really proud of my degree, but ultimately I went and it was alright. They give you a robe ahead of time and all you have to do is walk up on stage and shake the man's hand when he hands you your degree... you don't stand out at all because to the majority it's just this long line of people in the same outfit. Nobody will care about you or notice you except for your parents.

It was pretty boring to sit there through the rest of it, but you only have to do it once and it's not the end of the world. Really, it's not for you at all-- it's for the people who care about you and who want to see you graduate.

Really, I think you should go... you can watch movies any time and movies aren't really important. It sounds like you're calling a lot more attention to yourself by not going...
 

jaim38

Well-known member
Thanks everyone for your replies! :)

I attended mine... I didn't want to go because I wasn't really proud of my degree, but ultimately I went and it was alright. They give you a robe ahead of time and all you have to do is walk up on stage and shake the man's hand when he hands you your degree... you don't stand out at all because to the majority it's just this long line of people in the same outfit. Nobody will care about you or notice you except for your parents.

It was pretty boring to sit there through the rest of it, but you only have to do it once and it's not the end of the world. Really, it's not for you at all-- it's for the people who care about you and who want to see you graduate.

Really, I think you should go... you can watch movies any time and movies aren't really important. It sounds like you're calling a lot more attention to yourself by not going...

When I first made this thread, I was very conflicted. People say things like high school/college graduation is a major milestone in life, it's a one time thing, you must go and take pictures for commemoration, etc etc. People make it sound like a big deal. When I decided not to go, I got berated. So being the sensitive person that I am, a part of me felt ashamed for not wanting to go. But then again, I feel like a people pleaser if I change my decision just because other people said to.

On graduation day, I just want to feel good, pamper myself a little, for all the hard work I did over the school years. I don't want to be stuck in traffic, stuck in some stadium for 5-6 hours, feeling uncomfortable around large crowds of people, most likely standing/sitting by myself while people around me talk, and being anxious the entire time. This is NOT graduation, it's more like forcing myself to wear some robe and perform some societal ritual.
 

Odo

Banned
When I first made this thread, I was very conflicted. People say things like high school/college graduation is a major milestone in life, it's a one time thing, you must go and take pictures for commemoration, etc etc. People make it sound like a big deal. When I decided not to go, I got berated. So being the sensitive person that I am, a part of me felt ashamed for not wanting to go. But then again, I feel like a people pleaser if I change my decision just because other people said to.

On graduation day, I just want to feel good, pamper myself a little, for all the hard work I did over the school years. I don't want to be stuck in traffic, stuck in some stadium for 5-6 hours, feeling uncomfortable around large crowds of people, most likely standing/sitting by myself while people around me talk, and being anxious the entire time. This is NOT graduation, it's more like forcing myself to wear some robe and perform some societal ritual.

You didn't deserve to be berated, but ceremonies like this have existed for a very very long time and some people are going to get upset whenever someone else chooses not to participate in them (without a valid reason). A lot of these things aren't about you, they're about tradition, society, culture, etc... and backing out can be taken as an insult, or at the very least are going to make you seem odd. But if you're comfortable with your decision then that's all that really matters... you're the one who has to live with yourself! :)
 

andsorry

Well-known member
I was forced to attend my 5th, and high school. I didn't have one for 8th grade and I skipped my college graduation. I as well don't see the point of sitting there for hours.
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
Lol the ceremony is a waste of time. Don't go because that's what you want, not that you want to go and are afraid. You should still celebrate like go out to dinner or something. Congratulations and I hope you find the job you want and/or make your own business...
 
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