How are you feeling?

[JuiceB]

Bad Day. Woke up early this morning after dreaming that I had been laid off.

At work I had to deal with my stupid head supervisor who probably couldn't tell you the difference between crap and pudding.

Had to ride with one of the truck drivers to make a delivery. He doesn't like to slow down when he drives, even for speed bumps. Finished the delivery, alive but shakened up.

Back on the yard I had to load a customer's pickup truck when it started raining really hard. This guy then looked at me with a smirk on his face. I wanted to run him down with my forklift but remembered the dream I had.

After a long day I managed to clock out 1 hour earlier, looked at my time card and realized I forgot to clock in.

Can't imagine what my birthday will be like when it's here.

 

[MarionBerry]

Day three of being in charge of my department and it's going pretty well. No mutiny....yet...so I'm feeling pretty happy and accomplished.

 

[Invisibleman]

ugly and hideous.

 

[Labyrinthine]

Stressed. I was just thinking how nice it would be to not be around my dad on 9/11, since on the phone I can tell his ptsd is already getting worse like it does. Now he told me he is planning a trip to see me then :|. Fun times.

 

[wariomona]

I'm feeling like I want to strangle reality with my feet.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Help me

I don't know, not good, at all. I've been getting really bad panic attacks lately, and it's the worst feeling in the world. I feel like I can't even breathe, and literally in those moments it feels like I'm going to die. I don't even know what causes it to happen in the first place, they just happen so suddenly, and are absolutely terrifying. It's just a sudden moment of extreme fear, and I go straight into panic mode, I can't breathe, I can't even breathe. This completely overtakes me. I start hyperventilating and tearing up and can't control it in the slightest. I'm a pathetic little person taken over by complete fear. I can't even breathe. I feel sooo hopeless and helpless and I don't even know what to do anymore. I am so pathetic, and I hate it, I really hate it. There is nothing I can do to stop this when it happens, I'm just completely insane. You can't live a normal life absolutely panicking over the littlest things. I really really really don't know what to do anymore. I don't, I don't. I'm sorry :/, rant over. I just need to breathe, I wish I could breathe...

 

[Starry]

Psychedelicious, I really hope you're feeling better now. I know how horrible panic attacks are. I know the feeling on not being able to breathe, of feeling like you're dying. I also went through a patch where I had a lot of them together. All you can do is try to increase things which help you to feel calmer generally and ride it out, hopefully it will pass and ease off again, though it may take a while. *Sending positive thoughts your way*

****************

I'm feeling tired as per usual... Had a weird Jehovah's Witness dream in which I had lots of anxiety caused by many different things... Because as if the JWs aren't bad enough, I had social anxiety and agoraphobia anxiety on top...

 

[hidwell]

Very,very tired

 

[Srijita52]

Lonely, really really lonely. Is it too hard to like me for who I am?

Sad. Alone. Stupid.

You're not stupid, I hope you feel better soon and I'm here if you want to talk.

ugly and hideous.

I'm sorry, I'm sure you're none of those though.

I don't know, not good, at all. I've been getting really bad panic attacks lately, and it's the worst feeling in the world. I feel like I can't even breathe, and literally in those moments it feels like I'm going to die. I don't even know what causes it to happen in the first place, they just happen so suddenly, and are absolutely terrifying. It's just a sudden moment of extreme fear, and I go straight into panic mode, I can't breathe, I can't even breathe. This completely overtakes me. I start hyperventilating and tearing up and can't control it in the slightest. I'm a pathetic little person taken over by complete fear. I can't even breathe. I feel sooo hopeless and helpless and I don't even know what to do anymore. I am so pathetic, and I hate it, I really hate it. There is nothing I can do to stop this when it happens, I'm just completely insane. You can't live a normal life absolutely panicking over the littlest things. I really really really don't know what to do anymore. I don't, I don't. I'm sorry :/, rant over. I just need to breathe, I wish I could breathe...

I'm really sorry Psyche, I don't know what to say. Hang in there. *hugs*

 

[Srijita52]

I'm feeling really depressed for no reason right now.

 

[vj288]

Re: Help me

I don't know, not good, at all. I've been getting really bad panic attacks lately, and it's the worst feeling in the world. I feel like I can't even breathe, and literally in those moments it feels like I'm going to die. I don't even know what causes it to happen in the first place, they just happen so suddenly, and are absolutely terrifying. It's just a sudden moment of extreme fear, and I go straight into panic mode, I can't breathe, I can't even breathe. This completely overtakes me. I start hyperventilating and tearing up and can't control it in the slightest. I'm a pathetic little person taken over by complete fear. I can't even breathe. I feel sooo hopeless and helpless and I don't even know what to do anymore. I am so pathetic, and I hate it, I really hate it. There is nothing I can do to stop this when it happens, I'm just completely insane. You can't live a normal life absolutely panicking over the littlest things. I really really really don't know what to do anymore. I don't, I don't. I'm sorry :/, rant over. I just need to breathe, I wish I could breathe...

It doesn't make you pathetic, there's nothing you can do when one comes and isn't your fault at all. It's something most people do not even have to deal with, having that extra obstacle gives you something that most people don't have and a different understanding of things others don't see. But you're not hopeless or helpless or pathetic or insane (well maybe a little insane ) or incapable of leading a life that is worth leading, it's just learning to work with what you have and making it work. You're okay, and I hope you feel better soon.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I'm feeling really depressed for no reason right now.

So sorry to hear that you're feeling down. :: Hope things get better for you real soon!

 

[planemo]

Lonely, really really lonely. Is it too hard to like me for who I am?

I'm feeling really depressed for no reason right now.

could it be that you're sad because you're still feeling alone? are you finding it hard to like yourself, or is it other people you're posing the question to? either way it's a downer. i'm really trying my best to like myself. but i find it really hard. wishing you the best

 

[Graeme1988]

Fed-up, tae be perfect honest. Utterly so. Tired o' feelin' like I'm incapable of makin' ma ain decisions. Ma sister seems tae think she can speak for me, as does ma mother at times. But ma sister has this really irritating habit of follow-up a question which requires a Yes or No answer with another question.

The follow-up question being: "Are ye sure now...?" Naw! As a matter o' fact I'm apparently too indecisive tae even answer that question! Sorry, that really pisses me off!

But then, I just agree most of the time, anyway. For fear o' causing a disagreement more than anything else. Because I seem to need a justifiable reason for saying "No". Other than I can't be bothered, of course!

 

[Silatuyok]

Lazy. I feel lazy.

 

[Phoenixx]

Upset and depressed, when just an hour ago I was feeling great. My mom decided it was a good time during dinner to get on my case about my stupid schedule this semester. NOW she has a problem with it (she couldn't have told me anything this whole summer ), and I think I'll have to drop the class I wanted to take the most: digital photography. All because I won't have a ride. The one class that I decided to take because it not only has always interested me, but it was a better chance to get past some obstacles -- working in groups, fear of cameras, fear of working with and around other people, etc.

My schedule this year is pretty packed because 1) I'm finally able to take a much-needed science course (BioChemistry) and 2) I'm taking extra credits anyway because my advisor recommended it. I tried to get an easier schedule so I only had to go to college for 3 days a week rather than 5, and so I could coordinate with my friend's schedule -- my ride -- but sadly I couldn't because I also needed my activity course (Yoga) which was only Tuesday/Thursday afternoon. I still get to keep that, but it's still inconvenient as I need to have someone with me to either a) take me or b) drive myself up there.

I am just so tired of revolving MY schedule and plans around everyone else just because I have to live in some incredibly isolated rural craphole, where the closest city with any job openings and other opportunities is a half hour away by car, and I don't have my license because I have to be so stupidly afraid of everything. I know this is partially my fault. :: And trust me, I kick myself constantly over the fact I didn't force myself to overcome the whole license issue 3 years ago. But it's just so much harder when the people around you don't even understand a single thing of what you go through every day on a regular basis. The fact that all I've been putting up with lately is all this pressure from my family of driving everywhere, getting my license, moving out, finishing school, figuring out what to do after school and how to finish the rest of my education, figuring out how to even live on my own with what limited money I have, I just can't take it. I can't breathe! :: Of course I want to do all these things, I really do want to do all this more than anything, and I know it needs to be done, but it's all too much at the moment. I don't even know what to do, or where to start anymore. I don't even know if I'll be able to function and make it on my own once I do. I'm afraid I'll end up right back at home or something because I couldn't find a job, or pay rent, or even take care of myself, or all of the above. ::

Sorry for the whiny rant. I'm kind of an emotional mess today, I can't even control my mood swings. (thanks aunt flo)

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Upset and depressed, when just an hour ago I was feeling great. My mom decided it was a good time during dinner to get on my case about my stupid schedule this semester. NOW she has a problem with it (she couldn't have told me anything this whole summer ), and I think I'll have to drop the class I wanted to take the most: digital photography. All because I won't have a ride. The one class that I decided to take because it not only has always interested me, but it was a better chance to get past some obstacles -- working in groups, fear of cameras, fear of working with and around other people, etc.

My schedule this year is pretty packed because 1) I'm finally able to take a much-needed science course (BioChemistry) and 2) I'm taking extra credits anyway because my advisor recommended it. I tried to get an easier schedule so I only had to go to college for 3 days a week rather than 5, and so I could coordinate with my friend's schedule -- my ride -- but sadly I couldn't because I also needed my activity course (Yoga) which was only Tuesday/Thursday afternoon. I still get to keep that, but it's still inconvenient as I need to have someone with me to either a) take me or b) drive myself up there.

I am just so tired of revolving MY schedule and plans around everyone else just because I have to live in some incredibly isolated rural craphole, where the closest city with any job openings and other opportunities is a half hour away by car, and I don't have my license because I have to be so stupidly afraid of everything. I know this is partially my fault. :: And trust me, I kick myself constantly over the fact I didn't force myself to overcome the whole license issue 3 years ago. But it's just so much harder when the people around you don't even understand a single thing of what you go through every day on a regular basis. The fact that all I've been putting up with lately is all this pressure from my family of driving everywhere, getting my license, moving out, finishing school, figuring out what to do after school and how to finish the rest of my education, figuring out how to even live on my own with what limited money I have, I just can't take it. I can't breathe! :: Of course I want to do all these things, I really do want to do all this more than anything, and I know it needs to be done, but it's all too much at the moment. I don't even know what to do, or where to start anymore. I don't even know if I'll be able to function and make it on my own once I do. I'm afraid I'll end up right back at home or something because I couldn't find a job, or pay rent, or even take care of myself, or all of the above. ::

Sorry for the whiny rant. I'm kind of an emotional mess today, I can't even control my mood swings. (thanks aunt flo)

Well, Phoenixx, if all else fails, then try walking to your Photography class. See how long it'll take you. I mean, I don't have a license or a car and I'm older than you. Just don't let it bother you so much. Although, truth be told, it does get under my skin too at times, but I just brush it off and let my emotions run their course and "drain out". Take things at your own pace and only do as much as your mind can handle. Another route you can try is to stay on campus until you're done with your classes and then get your friend to pick you up when they have time. If your mother has a problem with your choices, then, remember, it's your life, not hers. Make decisions that you want to because you have to live with the consequences of your actions, not her, whether she "advised" you in it or not.

Everything will settle itself with time. Until that time comes, work on other life projects and accomplishing dreams.

 

[Phoenixx]

Well, Phoenixx, if all else fails, then try walking to your Photography class. See how long it'll take you. I mean, I don't have a license or a car and I'm older than you. Just don't let it bother you so much. Although, truth be told, it does get under my skin too at times, but I just brush it off and let my emotions run their course and "drain out". Take things at your own pace and only do as much as your mind can handle. Another route you can try is to stay on campus until you're done with your classes and then get your friend to pick you up when they have time. If your mother has a problem with your choices, then, remember, it's your life, not hers. Make decisions that you want to because you have to live with the consequences of your actions, not her, whether she "advised" you in it or not.

Everything will settle itself with time. Until that time comes, work on other life projects and accomplishing dreams.

^ I don't live on campus, I go to a community college, which is a half hour away by car.

My friend also works too, so I would hate to always have her take time out of her free-time to pick me up. I'm basically just stuck right now, it's pathetic.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

^ I don't live on campus, I go to a community college, which is a half hour away by car.

My friend also works too, so I would hate to always have her take time out of her free-time to pick me up. I'm basically just stuck right now, it's pathetic.

No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was that, when you go to campus for classes, you stay on campus until you finish all of your classes, then get picked up.

And your friend would be happy to help you. Talk to her about it and see how she feels. I can almost guarantee you that she won't feel that you're bothering her. After all, "that's what friends are for".

 

[shakethelight]

Upset and depressed, when just an hour ago I was feeling great. My mom decided it was a good time during dinner to get on my case about my stupid schedule this semester. NOW she has a problem with it (she couldn't have told me anything this whole summer ), and I think I'll have to drop the class I wanted to take the most: digital photography. All because I won't have a ride. The one class that I decided to take because it not only has always interested me, but it was a better chance to get past some obstacles -- working in groups, fear of cameras, fear of working with and around other people, etc.

My schedule this year is pretty packed because 1) I'm finally able to take a much-needed science course (BioChemistry) and 2) I'm taking extra credits anyway because my advisor recommended it. I tried to get an easier schedule so I only had to go to college for 3 days a week rather than 5, and so I could coordinate with my friend's schedule -- my ride -- but sadly I couldn't because I also needed my activity course (Yoga) which was only Tuesday/Thursday afternoon. I still get to keep that, but it's still inconvenient as I need to have someone with me to either a) take me or b) drive myself up there.

I am just so tired of revolving MY schedule and plans around everyone else just because I have to live in some incredibly isolated rural craphole, where the closest city with any job openings and other opportunities is a half hour away by car, and I don't have my license because I have to be so stupidly afraid of everything. I know this is partially my fault. :: And trust me, I kick myself constantly over the fact I didn't force myself to overcome the whole license issue 3 years ago. But it's just so much harder when the people around you don't even understand a single thing of what you go through every day on a regular basis. The fact that all I've been putting up with lately is all this pressure from my family of driving everywhere, getting my license, moving out, finishing school, figuring out what to do after school and how to finish the rest of my education, figuring out how to even live on my own with what limited money I have, I just can't take it. I can't breathe! :: Of course I want to do all these things, I really do want to do all this more than anything, and I know it needs to be done, but it's all too much at the moment. I don't even know what to do, or where to start anymore. I don't even know if I'll be able to function and make it on my own once I do. I'm afraid I'll end up right back at home or something because I couldn't find a job, or pay rent, or even take care of myself, or all of the above. ::

Sorry for the whiny rant. I'm kind of an emotional mess today, I can't even control my mood swings. (thanks aunt flo)

You've seen my tumblr so you already know how much I relate to this. I think its amazing despite what you struggle with you still manage to expose yourself to a lot of things. It's inspiring. You seem like someone who has the determination to get to where she needs to be. Everything you're feeling is normal, just take it one step at a time. The driving thing? I was in an almost fatal car accident in 2004 & my family still doesn't understand my anxiety about it. A lot of people have issues with driving. At least you're working on it. Give yourself some credit...I don't even know you but you seem like someone who's come a long way. Good luck.