Your motivation for living?

[IamThisOne]

What keeps me here is the fact that dying is very expensive. Also, my family would be sad.

 

[p i a n o♬]

It would kill my mom and dad if I did that. Okay, to be honest, I got all my suicide plans laid out, I just haven't done it. I don't think I will.

I hope.

 

[jamez]

Right now. Just to get the most out of it. We don't know what happens after we die, all we know is that we have this time right now.

You want something you got to go out and get it. Don't want anything? Find the motivation to want something. **** ain't easy though. I know what it's like to go through depression and go back to it over and over.

 

[NickyNacker]

My family. I'm always depressed and I've thought about suicide, but because of them I could never do it. I don't want to leave my family any sooner than I have to. I would say friends, but I've lost most of my friends, and the ones I kind of still have never talk to me. One reason for my depression.

 

[Asherah]

atm my parents. My dad wanted to live, embraced life, but got diagnosed with cancer and died 9 months later. All i was thinking is that i was to be burried, not him, as i wished myself dead so many times. I just feel so guilty about that for some reason, what am i complaining about?, i need to make something of my life, for him. Im trying. And my mother, well she is devastated by it ofcourse and she wouldnt be able to handle losing a child aswell. She's really worried about me killing myself, and i promised her i wouldnt. Im going to live up to that promise!

 

[da_illest101]

other then being afraid to die, i don't have any ::

 

[jthomas]

my motivation for living is I Dont know but I will have a go at it. The only thing that is keeping me Here is the debt that I owe to many people. I feel like there are so many people that I owe like my mother, I have a bill that i have to pay in her name. I think about suicide a lot lately that last night I called 1800 suicide. The guy i spoke with was no help. His help was temporary "you know what that makes sense" but I go right back into my depressive state. I have motivation for living but its a small motivation. I want to just pay these people off and then Kill myself in the end.

 

[Sial Axetder]

my motivation for living is I Dont know but I will have a go at it. The only thing that is keeping me Here is the debt that I owe to many people. I feel like there are so many people that I owe like my mother, I have a bill that i have to pay in her name. I think about suicide a lot lately that last night I called 1800 suicide. The guy i spoke with was no help. His help was temporary "you know what that makes sense" but I go right back into my depressive state. I have motivation for living but its a small motivation. I want to just pay these people off and then Kill myself in the end.

Does anyone, besides 'The guy' know you feel that way? If not, it may be time for that to happen.

Is your glass half full or half empty?

 

[jthomas]

Does anyone, besides 'The guy' know you feel that way? If not, it may be time for that to happen.

I've told my girlfriend and my girlfriend mother knows. They recommended that I go back to the hospital but I say no I don't want to go. It's like they are talking to a kid. I've been acting like a kid all my life its so sad. For example, When I talk, **** comes out. I don't talk with a purpose I just babble things out. So I dont know what to do. I'm just a lost soul.

 

[mrb]

I'm living for my children, loathe pretty much everything about myself and feel ugly, pathetic, hopeless and lost but have to keep going for them.

ugly your not seen your pics pathetic your not , just going through a bad time at mo .... just try to ride through the bad storm lol ......hopefully that storm will calm soon , and you will be more happy with life

 

[Waybuloo]

Through shear instinct many of us remain here. I have felt I have drown in life many times. I think you and many others might relate to the feeling that I have where I would rather die than to go back in life for fear that the same life might happen again. Amazingly after years of solitude and severe depressions I somehow got the courage to travel half way around the world and I met someone who needed all the strengths that I have while I needed hers desperately. Many days I am still in desperate straights. But ya know, what else do I have other than mythical IOU's that say there is something other than this life. I am in no way saying that anyone else will find mine but you will find your adventure. I use to think my adventure was very unique. However, it is more common than I imagined. I think i discovered that there are many people in this world that need us if we can just find the will to find them.

That is the case for me. I have this feeling of a powerful something, maybe fate, stopping me committing the unmentionable. I suppose at the back of my mind I hope and think that there is always something there I will experience that would make me regret not being here.
I have responsibilities now, I have to look after others, that is reason enough.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

my motivation for living is I Dont know but I will have a go at it. The only thing that is keeping me Here is the debt that I owe to many people. I feel like there are so many people that I owe like my mother, I have a bill that i have to pay in her name. I think about suicide a lot lately that last night I called 1800 suicide. The guy i spoke with was no help. His help was temporary "you know what that makes sense" but I go right back into my depressive state. I have motivation for living but its a small motivation. I want to just pay these people off and then Kill myself in the end.

Some of us come into life as warriors, yet the enemy isn't physical, it is mental. When you think about suicide, you are effectively holding the white flag to surrender. Yet sometimes it pays to remember why you are here and battle on. There will be times were it will be hard and you will feel like you can' go on, and a lot of people feel this regardless of suffering depression or not, but you need to continue on and keep fighting the enemy. It may get easier with time or it may not, but whatever the case, if you end your life then the enemy has won.

 

[EasySkanking]

Nice Aussie_Lad. Well said!!!

 

[Luke1993]

My motivation is that I someday will be truly happy!

 

[Sial Axetder]

I've told my girlfriend and my girlfriend mother knows. They recommended that I go back to the hospital but I say no I don't want to go. It's like they are talking to a kid. I've been acting like a kid all my life its so sad. For example, When I talk, **** comes out. I don't talk with a purpose I just babble things out. So I dont know what to do. I'm just a lost soul.

Talking without purpose, in person, found short answers to questions better. Usually will not speak unless spoken to. Too many thoughts to speak too many words.

You're dealing with some really tough stuff. Give yourself a break, put your feet up, relax. Breath a little. When ready take another shot at settings things in the right motion.

Don't hesitate to let us know how things are.

 

[jthomas]

Talking without purpose, in person, found short answers to questions better. Usually will not speak unless spoken to. Too many thoughts to speak too many words.

You're dealing with some really tough stuff. Give yourself a break, put your feet up, relax. Breath a little. When ready take another shot at settings things in the right motion.

Don't hesitate to let us know how things are.

I'm really going to try hard at short answers. I've read a couple of posts and I noticed people really don't answer to Long paragraphs, but short answers.

Also I have this problem, When I get this really long explanation, I'm 99% lost when that person is finish, I don't know how to respond. Its like my brain is reversing backwards.

And I work at a Call Center,... So you can imagine,... Bummer

 

[jthomas]

It's tough for me to pinpoint why I want to keep going. I'm often not sure that I want to (chronic depression) and when I think of the usual reasons people give for fighting it out, well, none of them apply to me. I have no friends, I don't want a future family, I can't seek gainful employment because I dropped out of college due to anxiety, and a lot of my best experiences were as a child. Back then, we travelled everywhere as a family, had lots of fun and togetherness, and now I'm just a dried up, angry, boring shell of an adult who is more or less completely alone. I've become intolerant of people, increasingly agoraphobic, plagued by anxieties and OCD, and I feel that I've tried all the options that are available to people, ie. therapy and medications. Nothing seems to fully fix it, and I can't regain motivation for life no matter what I try. The worst of it is that the whole thing is self-perpetuating. The more I stay inside and do nothing, the rustier and depressed I get, and I feel like breaking the cycle is too hard.

The thing is, I don't blame people for not being sympathetic towards me. I've tried to talk to my family but they just don't seem to understand. I can't fault them for that, because they don't live with any of these issues. Most people have a 'shut up and get on with it' mentality and that's their perogative, but I just can't apply it to my own life. I also don't like to bother people with my problems, so I've isolated myself willingly. I like being unobtrusive in that regard. I guess ultimately I go on because something good might happen to me somewhere down the line. Life is forever changing and death is forever. I try to hold on to that.

you Pretty much said everything I wanted to say but I could not explain it. My child experienes was really great. We went on trips, we went to visit family members. But I still missed out on a lot of things. The differences between me and you is that you can explain yourself in detail. I can't. I don't really know what I am, I don't know myself, I struggle to find my likes and dislikes. Right now i'm just trying to find myself through the mist of depression, IF IT WILL ALLOW ME TO!!!.

 

[BlackPuma]

The thought of being a normal person is pretty appealing to me. You know, decent job, a roof over my head, time for personal hobbies.

That's pretty much it for me.. If I can get there I'll start to think a little bigger. :3

 

[Sial Axetder]

I'm really going to try hard at short answers. I've read a couple of posts and I noticed people really don't answer to Long paragraphs, but short answers.

Also I have this problem, When I get this really long explanation, I'm 99% lost when that person is finish, I don't know how to respond. Its like my brain is reversing backwards.

And I work at a Call Center,... So you can imagine,... Bummer

Long explanations will do that. Not reverse but all over. Sensory overload.

Take long explanation, call centre I don't know, and pick out the questions and other thoughts you may hold as important to the one explaining.

For yourself, avoid long explanations. If cannot, spread it out. Easier to read for others. In Socialworld I always try to give short verbal answers.

 

[Tiercel]

I need to at least hang around until Blind Guardian's new album shows up in the mailbox. Then I'll probably need about another hour to listen to it, peruse the CD booklet, and wonder if they'll be coming to Philadelphia again on this tour.

Then if I die, at least I'll be partly content.