Would you forgive bullies years later

[Horatio]

To be fair most bullies have plenty of issues of there own. They deal by being jerks and we deal our own way.

I know what you are saying, but I don't think its that simple. Everyone has issues of some sort but not everyone chooses to deal with it by taking it out on someone else.

I have only three friends from my high school days on my Facebook and I block all others attempts. If they came to me and asked for an apology for the way they treated me at school then I would consider forgiving them; but I'm not going to let them back into my life unless they first give me a genuine apology.

The way they treated me resulted in my becoming a social cripple, riddled with depression and anxiety disorders. It is over ten years since I left high school and I'm still left with that.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Easily. They most likely have as many problems and insecurities as I

 

[Horatio]

Easily. They most likely have as many problems and insecurities as I

But do you take it out on other people?

 

[EscapeArtist]

But do you take it out on other people?

no. hmmmm... /rethinks. I would forgive them. But if they were still the way they were I would not allow myself around them. I would forgive them because I would pity them, more than dislike them as a whole. We all just want happiness, I do not think anybody deserves to be hated because we all have our reasons, no matter how irrational or illogical they may seem to another. Of course there is the option to change, as well... And perhaps if they have chosen not to change, I would disrespect them. Feel saddened for them and the way they have chosen to live.

 

[DespairSoul]

Forgive is hard for me because they start my anxiety. Funny is i dont remember every face what was bullying me or bad to me. Mostly was people what i was no more meating was just some disgusting comments what they had if i walked around. Why i should forgive they anyway dont care if i will or not they had good time on bullying me and fun, and i should forgive?Maybe if they really will please me and i will see they very much change as they was before i will try.But never i will be trustful anyway to them and i propably will not want them around me because i will be suspicious they will do it again or just they pretend this frendship. I just have deep in my heart to much this things i cant forgive even bad looks as some bad words. Will be very hard. Because anyway if i will forgive this atmosphere cant be never so good as with someone who was nice to most of the times.

 

[lettypagb]

ive became friends with all my bullies , but when i started to have sa , i just stoped been bullied , so , i dont think ill have any more problems with that and even if i had i wouldnt do much about it.

 

[Danfalc]

Easily. They most likely have as many problems and insecurities as I

I think this is a good point to remember sometimes.I'm not saying that is an excuse for bullying like,and nothing worse than people acting the victim when it's them causing the hurt.But for me I think it's important to leave the past where it belongs and move on.I'm not sure I have forgiven everything from my past like that,but I have got to the point where I don't allow it any control over me anymore.

 

[metaphor99]

I don't know if I could forgive the people who bullied me. I don't have a Facebook account, but I have run into a few of them since I've graduated and they act like they want to be friends..but I really don't care to start a friendship with those who put me through hell for years.

 

[pjcarter85]

The only bully who ever became friendly toward me was one who said he felt sorry for me and wanted to protect me. He had been making fun of me for a long time, sometimes hitting me. Then, he suddenly beat me up, out of nowhere. I walked away, crying. I was never really mad at him. I was ashamed for not being able to defend myself, as usual. The next day, he apologized.

 

[Northern Lad]

Yes to be able to forgive shows great character and strength if someone i know is geniue with his appolige then yes i can forgive them that does not mean i will ever forget what they did.

Its a tough world out there so you really got to know where your towel is

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I forgave all of my bullies years ago. Before I was even finished being bullied in school, really.
I feel like it's so easy to hate people and much harder to forgive a person's actions. > I still can't forgive my own mistakes... but I've been able to forgive everyone elses very easily.

 

[Phoenixx]

Depends on the bully. There are a couple people who pretty much tortured me in the past that I don't think I will ever forgive, even if they were nice to me. But, I would probably forgive those who only teased me a little.

 

[Northern Lad]

This will sound abit crazy but in forgiving them your more at peace and able to move on but forgiving and forgeting are two different things.

It's a tough universe. There's all sorts of people and things trying to do you, ... If you're going to survive out there, you've really got to know where your towel is. ...

 

[Neptunus]

Only if they sought me out to apologize.

 

[hippiechild]

Yes, but for my own sake rather than theirs.

 

[miss_amy]

Depends what you mean by forgive. If they apologised and were sorry then I would forgive.. otherwise I might not but I'd have to let it go enough so it didn't eat me up inside. Doesn't necessarily mean I'd chat to them or act like nothing happened and be all friendly. I think I'd just be 'I don't want anything to do with you'.

 

[Smokeringz]

it depends on what they did, if they were sincere etc... but I have always noticed that bullies end up destroying themselves due to either domestic struggles drugs and alchohol or just plain karma.

 

[deleted user 1]

It can be hard to let go of these things, and at one point I was very bitter. But I realised that by hating them, I would become them and everything that I disliked in people. Forgiveness is not only a good thing to do in general, but is very much good for yourself. You cannot heal if you cannot forgive. So it would be very counterproductive to say no. That does not mean that I would like them, or would want to even see them again, but I will forgive. Regarding a hypothetical chance meeting years later? I don't know how I would react. I would feel very uncomfortable. It may be something they can just about recall, but for me, I can remember it like it was yesterday. So it would be difficult to act as if nothing happened. Whether or not I'd want to persist with this encounter would depend on their level of change.

 

[1986Poe]

depends on the time of day, lol, i would forgive but never forget, its like having food poisoning or something, when its over the immune system doesnt forget the disease that would be pointless in defeating it, but you can forgive it enough to watch it in action in a petry dish, lol

 

[JamesSmith]

Would you forgive bullies if you bumped into them years later and they were nice to you. I personally would. I would never forget what they have done but I`m willing to forgive. Getting even doesn`t solve problems in my book. That`s just my opinion though

I disagree with doing this for a couple reasons. First off, how would this conversation even start? Most bullies don't bring up the fact that they bullied you if they see you again. So if one of you did bring this up, it would make the conversation very awkward. And in a lot of cases if you were bullied by this person in the past, the bully has matured and you'd be reminding him/her of his/her mistakes in the past, which would put the former bully in a bad position that right now, a position they don't deserve to be in because they've stopped bullying and grown up. People don't like to be reminded of a trouble past, especially when they haven't seen someone in a while. It's just a terrible way to have a conversation with someone you haven't seen lately. I don't see what good it would do for anyone to just say "I forgive you for stealing my lunch money ten years ago." The bully would just be thinking, oh, thanks for reminding me. Are there any other mistakes in my past that you want to bring up so I can feel bad about it?