Would you forgive bullies years later

I

irish_bob

Well-known member
Charmed said:
I've never been bullied, but I have ran into a couple of *******s over the years. If I ran into them, I can't say forgiveness would be on my mind lol.
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i didnt even realise i was being bullied , i thought i was giving as good as i got , it was more than a month after i had finished contact with the bully that i broke down and started to piece together what had happened , was a workplace situation and i was overseas at the time

taught me that you have to pick your battles in this life , the only way you can beat some people is by becoming more nasty than they are and thier is no victory in that
 
I

IntrovertedIndividual

Member
It would depend on several factors,like the circumstances of their bullying or the bullies' age.

Unfortunately,I've always been excessively prone to resentment and that causes me problems with forgiving others.I'm very glad I was never bullied in a severe way though;My childhood and adolescence could have been a lot worse,had I happened to meet the wrong persons.
 
chibiXphantom

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
im very forgiving. so yeah. not even years later. maybe like a week later. i just dont hold grudges. probably cause i dont care enough TO hold a grudge. if someone is mean to be or decides that hate me im just like "ok, whatever. yeah i dress weird, but im ok with that. and thank you for noticing how much of a freak i am. i try." and just ignore them.

i suppose it could be bad. if someone were to punch me in the face, id probably give them a cupcake the next day
 
M

Meggy0001

Well-known member
I would forgive them, I have already but I will never forget it though :/ I will smile and walk past or even say hi but it will still be playing in my heard for like ever I seem to never forget anything bad thats happens
 
Naddy

Naddy

Active member
I tend to hold grudges, so I don't think I would forgive a bully. It also depends on what they bullied me for.
 
GanglyCritter

GanglyCritter

Member
I will never forgive any of them as long as I live. I spent all of my school years being tortured by them, why should I forgive them?
 
A

Articulate

Banned
Whether it's healthy or not, I'm afraid no I can't forgive them. I'm not saying that because I'm a vindictive or hateful person, just because it caused me too much pain and led to far too many longterm issues which I still can't get over. In the absence of severe mistreatment during my teenage years I believe I may have been able to overcome my traumatic childhood.

I ran into one of my teenage bullies the other day at the swimming pool, he was a lifeguard or attendant or something. I was seething when I saw him. My locker happened to break and he was the staff member who came to fix it. Honestly while he was fixing it I felt the urge to smash his head into the locker. That doesn't make me a bad person, but why would I forgive someone who had such a pronounced negative effect on my way of thinking? It doesn't make any sense to.
 
Section_31

Section_31

Well-known member
i never thought i would. but ive been able to forgive someone who did what i consider to be the most horrible event of my life. Its only been recently, but its been a very healing experience. And im feeling like a better person because of it.
 
L

laure15

Well-known member
I would prefer not to see them again or have anything to do with them again because it would bring back horrible memories. But, like people say, time heals and I eventually, I will forgive them.
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Eeh... I don't know. Even if they were truly nice, it doesn't instantly make everything that happened invalid. In this case, we aren't talking about some name calling or a stolen pencil, we are talking about my whole school life being messed up.

The whole class hated me for no reason, they went from name calling to beating me up. This happened every day, non-stop. I was the toy of the class, they really had nothing else to do but pick on me. I just can't forgive that.
 
M

Mattsquito

Member
I'm a generally forgiving person and can't hold a grudge for the life of me in 99% of cases.

Over time I find myself becoming largely indifferent towards most of my bullies. I figure they most likely don't even remember me or realize the effect of what they did all those years ago. A few of them have sent me friend requests on Facebook but I've rejected them. Not out of spite, but I just didn't see much of a point when we were never friends and never had much in common.

Though last year I bumped into one of them in person. I was at a bar on a date and he happened to walk in. He instantly recognized me from across the room and came over to say hi and ask what I'd been up to. He was surprisingly genuine and nothing but smiles. In a way it kind of redeemed him in my eyes. Though as far as bullying goes he was mostly mild and never even half as cruel as some of the others. There are still some that if I saw them in public I'd probably be struck with feelings of humiliation and fear all over again and I'd immediately leave the area.
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
"Bitterness is the poison we take expecting the other person to suffer." Anon. There's seems to be several disputes about who said this. nonethless it stands and lets hope the true author isn't bitter about losing the credit ;)
 
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