Would you forgive bullies years later

Holding grudges causes so much unhappiness. I am currently being bullied in a way. I need some distance before I can forgive them...though they are not asking for my forgiveness!

sevenroses said: ↑

Would you forgive bullies if you bumped into them years later and they were nice to you. I personally would. I would never forget what they have done but I`m willing to forgive. Getting even doesn`t solve problems in my book. That`s just my opinion though 🙂

I would. Because they paid for their stupidity in various ways.

No. Funnily enough, the boys who used to bully me now send me friend requests and ask me out on dates. That's enough for me. I just ignore them.

I would forgive them(by forgive i mean drown).

Hell no.

P.S. I was delayed in posting this, receiving the following message: "The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 10 characters."

When i overcome my social problems i'll be a very unhumble person, my real problem is inferiority complex,before that i was very extrovert,self-confident,proud and selfish, i want to feel that way again,but it will be 10times worse(better for me),

For me the age of the bullies is important, when the bullies are very young they can't really distinguish right from wrong but when they are older they carry more responsibility for their actions. When I was bullied I was 11 and they were 12/13, and that age is approximately the borderline between the two (for me) . Back then I wished them all the evil in the world, but now, 8 years later, every tendency to vengeance has disappeared.

But to forgive them? I will never forget the humiliation and I don't think I could handle meeting them. Recently one of them send me a request on facebook but I ignored him. Be friends with me now? Well, F*ck you.

Let's put it this way: they can all live peacefully and happy somewhere out of my sight, as long as I don't have to be confronted with them it's all fine for me.

I don't think so. I'm usually positive and forgiving, and I don't really get bullied anymore. Those days were very different for me, and what they done, I still can't see myself forgiving them. Maybe on some circumstances, but I don't know.

Never.....

When you think about the past and what many bullied have done, it makes you feel sad and as though those bullies have taken a great chunk out of your life. Growing up I was always in fear and couldn't do certain things because of bullies and even years after encountering these bullies I still think of how they hurt me so bad. I know I have to move on for my own good but it does hurt that they are the one's who are successful with nice happy families yet I am practically agoraphobic due to fear of encountering the same situations in my past. I believe that everyone should be forgiven when they are truly sorry and true remorse is to be appreciated. However it still hurts and it takes a lot to heal deep wounds from the past.

If they said sorry I would forgive them, but I won't be their friend. I've went through to many years in pain, so they don't deserve my friendship, only my forgiveness.

My bullying is a little unique I think. There was the "ring leader" and the rest just did what she said.

One apologized to me after 5 years of torment. She did it through another person on the bus ride home though, and it was because she ended up having no friends because this "ring leader" dropped her. I didn't accept the apology then because I wanted to move on.

Some even added me on Facebook. I can't imagine their thought process. "Hey! That's the girl I bullied!" The "leader" wouldn't dare, and I even saw one of her "groupies" have a huge fight with her over FB and she ended up deleting her.

I think I can forgive the followers to an extent. They taught me not to trust people TOO much.

The "leader"? Nope! 😀 Rot in hell!

I think living far, far, far, far away from them now, I moved on from them. The lessons they taught me though will stay with me forever.

I would have said it is okay and just move on.
You know why?
Because I don't care about that person, screw him 🙂
If I keep being pissed of it means I am giving him enough importance, which I shouldn't.
I would just cut this person out and tell "yeah okay, no problem, move on"

I think I've already replied to this thread (there's a couple comments from hidden users whom I think belong to my old account), but my answer remains the same. It's not so much forgiving them, as it is making peace with what they did to you, or with what those things did to you in the time since. Yeah, it was pretty bad at times, and for a long time I was bitter and I wanted for the worst things possible to happen to them as soon as possible, but later on I realized that feeling that way brought on so much negativity that it was doing me more harm than good. Eventually I learned to just let it go, and focused on things that are actual priorities in my life and that can't depend on what they did or didn't do. It's important not to dwell, and to just live your life the way you want to live it.

I actually came across the guy who was the worst of them all a couple of years back. I remember him tripping me when we were taking a shower after gym class, 5th or 6th grade. I fell on my arm while completely naked and almost broke it. About 20 other kids were staring at my naked, chubby body. Could barely move my arm the rest of the day. He looked miserable when I saw him. Part of me wanted to feel joy in that, but I was already quite advanced in my little phase of letting go of all that dead weight.

I think it depends on the circumstances. I personally would not as I have experienced a lot of bullying in the past and to this day it still haunts me!! In my opinion people who bully are weak and are usually jealous of other people or have problems with themselves which causes them to find fault in others.

I find that women can be just as harmful as men at bullying because they tend to be very catty and seem to be jealous of other women. This effects you mentally and emotionally. I can't stand this as in my opinion people should just get on then we wouldn't have so many problems in the world.

Life is short enough and in my opinion if someone has been that horrible to you as much as I think you should forgive people for what they have done, sometimes you are just best to cut yourself off from the situation altogether and get on with your own life!!🙂🤭:bigsmile:

Unforgiveness is like a cancer. Yes, other people have hurt us and changed our lives through their awful behavior but, unforgiveness hurts the person not forgiving much much more than the person who is unforgiven. As hard as it may be to do so you must strive to forgive - you are releasing yourself when you do so.

No I wouldn't. They were stronger than me, they out numbered me, and on some occasions they had weapons. They still thought it was cool to attack me. The only reason they stopped is because one time I fought back hard and got a few decent hits in. One of them didn't even come to school the next day. The school blamed me for the entire incident though. Apparently I taunted them. I did say some things but that was after they had already thrown a few punches. So me saying some insults after being hit a few times makes the entire incident my fault and completely justifies their actions. The next day they told everyone they brought knives to school to teach me a lesson but nothing came of it. They only bothered me with verbal bullying after that

whenever I think about forgiving them I feel shit about myself, terrible infact. it brings on the worst possible feelings, so why would I want that? its not nice to stay mad at people but it beats the feeling that get when I think about forgiving them.

No because I've never seen that happen lol. If it was someone from elementary school when peoples brains aren't even fully developed then maybe 😛

Yeah. It takes strength to forgive someone who mistreated you, but it's worth doing because of what you gain. You're taking your power back. You're opening your heart and releasing yourself from the shackles of resentment. You are freeing yourself from hurt and creating room for healing and happiness. If it looks like a bully has changed for the better over the years, I think you should at least try to find it in your heart to forgive that person for what they did in the past. Don't do it for them. Do it for yourself. And when I say forgive, I don't mean "it's okay that you used to make me miserable. We're totally cool now. In fact, we should totally be friends. Wanna go get smoothies?" No. I mean "you were a real d*** to me and that **** wasn't cool, man. But you know what? I'm letting it go. I refuse to be bitter. I'm choosing to be better. So, I forgive you. Have a nice life. Deuces."