Would you forgive bullies years later
- Thread starter sevenroses
- Start date
i don't like holding grudges either. I just don't see the point in it. Its better just to let it go and move on. Infect the bully with kindness usually does wonders in the long run
Arise87
Active member
Would you forgive bullies if you bumped into them years later and they were nice to you. I personally would. I would never forget what they have done but I`m willing to forgive. Getting even doesn`t solve problems in my book. That`s just my opinion though
Only if they asked for forgiveness and were being sincere. If not, I wouldn't bother to do anything but let it go. I don't believe its healthy to hold a grudge about bad experiences forever and become a bitter person. That's not going to help you in the long term. I'm sure bullies don't waste a thought on their victims, or how they treated people, unless they have a serious change of heart/manner. Why waste your time/energy on them?
if someone deliberatley went out of thier way to hurt and damage you , you cannot forgive them unless they seriously and sincerley attone for what they have done , to let it go would be to delude yourself about the past ( to airbrush it out ) and to leave yourself open to abuse by others in the future
i have not spoken to the one who ruined my life in fourteen years but ive recently learned where this person is , i intend to regain contact , their is no way im leaving this earth without them knowing what they did
i have not spoken to the one who ruined my life in fourteen years but ive recently learned where this person is , i intend to regain contact , their is no way im leaving this earth without them knowing what they did
sullyS25
Well-known member
I am sorry but I disagree completely....Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone what they did it is more for yourself....so you don't have to hang on to all that anger and resentment.....Do you think the one that ruined your life even knows you are mad at him? What does being so angry and holding all that in to to better the situation?
I dont delude myself from the past by forgiving the people that humiliated me and beat the **** out of me. I recognize it is in the past, it is over and I move on and live for this moment. The people that treated me badly don't deserve to occupy so much space in my head throughout my whole life and that is exactly what they are doing when I do not forgive and hold on to those past memories.
I choose to release them of that psychological strangle hold they had on me for so long by forgiving them and setting my self free mentally by acknowledging that what they did to me in the past does not affect me today....it isn't condoning anything. You can forgive someone and still not trust them.
I was picked on by most everybody(or so it seemed.lol)
But there was three that messed with me EVERY single day
I don't think I can ever forgive them.
They pushed me to places mentally that I never want to be again.
I ultimately dropped out of school because of them.
Which is my fault really...But id rather be sitting here a drop out than dead by my own hand or in prison for hurting THEM.
It kind of really threw my life of the tracks though.
I still hold deep hatred for the 3 of them.
Stay in school,Kids
They dropped out too(or at least two of them that I know of)
So if I had just stuck with it I wouldn't have had to deal with them much longer.
Now im just in the same place as them......ugh
But there was three that messed with me EVERY single day
I don't think I can ever forgive them.
They pushed me to places mentally that I never want to be again.
I ultimately dropped out of school because of them.
Which is my fault really...But id rather be sitting here a drop out than dead by my own hand or in prison for hurting THEM.
It kind of really threw my life of the tracks though.
I still hold deep hatred for the 3 of them.
Stay in school,Kids
They dropped out too(or at least two of them that I know of)
So if I had just stuck with it I wouldn't have had to deal with them much longer.
Now im just in the same place as them......ugh
Imogen
Active member
I was bullied right the way through school, college and university and if I saw them in the street, then yup, I'd let it go. I only finished Uni in June last year and while these people put me through Hell with their bullying, I put it behind me, because I see no point in harbouring it. I wouldn't ever trust them, but I'm mature enough to say 'Whatever, that's how these people are, and it means they live sad lives if they get their rocks off by treating people like crap.'.
What I've found with a lot of bullies is they don't even realise they are bullying people. Honestly, they really don't. Some will stop and admit it, but some of them? They honestly do not see what they did wrong and I just figure, 'forget it, what does it get me, holding a grudge? Nothing.'
What I've found with a lot of bullies is they don't even realise they are bullying people. Honestly, they really don't. Some will stop and admit it, but some of them? They honestly do not see what they did wrong and I just figure, 'forget it, what does it get me, holding a grudge? Nothing.'
N0D
Banned
it's been 7 or 8 years now and I still sometimes play out fantasies in my head of killing, hurting, or humiliating this person...
and like many of us i suspect, i wasn't innocent in school, plenty of times i joined in the torture of others, and if i saw them now i'd kiss their feet but expect no forgiveness...
and like many of us i suspect, i wasn't innocent in school, plenty of times i joined in the torture of others, and if i saw them now i'd kiss their feet but expect no forgiveness...
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where did i mention the gender of the one that destroyed me ?
I was bullied right the way through school, college and university and if I saw them in the street, then yup, I'd let it go. I only finished Uni in June last year and while these people put me through Hell with their bullying, I put it behind me, because I see no point in harbouring it. I wouldn't ever trust them, but I'm mature enough to say 'Whatever, that's how these people are, and it means they live sad lives if they get their rocks off by treating people like crap.'.
What I've found with a lot of bullies is they don't even realise they are bullying people. Honestly, they really don't. Some will stop and admit it, but some of them? They honestly do not see what they did wrong and I just figure, 'forget it, what does it get me, holding a grudge? Nothing.'
they dont realise it because they are nasty people and nasty people have a different idea of what constitutes decency
lonely_drummer
Well-known member
I don't think I could forgive them. It might not have been their complete fault of why they resorted to bullying but still, I still feel no matter what your upbringing and age, everyone has a general clue of what's right and wrong plus bullying was pretty damaging to me when I was younger so no way. Hate to sound hard and stubborn but bullying is horrible
sullyS25
Well-known member
I am sorry do you think they know you are mad at "them". That had nothing to do with my post anyway but cool.
karma doesnt exist , its just something agrieved people made up to try and console themselves about injustices , if karma were real , every evil world leader who ever lived would have had thier head on a pike instead of dieing in thier beds in the lap of luxury
sullyS25
Well-known member
they will know relativley soon
let me kno how it feels after you confront them...and whether or not it changed anything about your past or how your are now
Nala
Well-known member
I'm not sure.
I'm not interested in making my bullies feel better (if they happen to feel bad about what they did). I don't want them in my life, and they don't deserve my forgiveness. (Urgh, I hope that didn't make me sound bigheaded.)
I don't care about their feelings, and if they do feel bad about what they did to me, it just serves them right.
My high school class reunion will probably happen this year, so we'll see what happens.
I'm not interested in making my bullies feel better (if they happen to feel bad about what they did). I don't want them in my life, and they don't deserve my forgiveness. (Urgh, I hope that didn't make me sound bigheaded.)
I don't care about their feelings, and if they do feel bad about what they did to me, it just serves them right.
My high school class reunion will probably happen this year, so we'll see what happens.