Would you date someone with kids

[Danfalc]

to me people who abort are lower than dirt.

I think that's a strong statement to make,thing are not always black and white sadly.I know you were speaking about a certain situation but I don't think it's always wrong to abort.

What if a girl is raped..What if a 13 year old gets pregnant,what if a heroin or crack addict gets pregnant who also has mental issues.I'm not saying it's perfect but I can understand why some people do.

 

[AGR]

I think that's a strong statement to make,thing are not always black and white sadly.I know you were speaking about a certain situation but I don't think it's always wrong to abort.

What if a girl is raped..What if a 13 year old gets pregnant,what if a heroin or crack addict gets pregnant who also has mental issues.I'm not saying it's perfect but I can understand why some people do.

In special cases like rape yes,problem is people would take advantage of this claiming rape,of most other cases that I think of right now I dont think any mistake is worth someones life.

 

[thecinderfly]

on the poll i put it depends,
i wouldn't want to get hung up w/ one of these baby daddies that have a bunch of babies by different women, and just maybe if they have recently been through a divorce(big maybe because that can be a little too complicated),or they lost their partner in death

 

[xSleepy]

In my eyes I cant see how that is right,when a guy doesnt want to be the father he has to pay child support and is seen as a scumbag,but when a women doesnt want to be the mother she can just go and kill it,to me people who abort are lower than dirt.

You actually make a very good point and I can't believe I have never thought about abortion that way! I didn't realize how unfair it can be for the men in these situations. I know this isn't really the appropriate thread to have this discussion so I'm not really gonna get too into it. But I will say that even though it might be unfair, I still think women should pretty much get to decide on what they want to do about her pregnancy. With the exception for when the man in the situation wants to keep the baby but the woman doesn't.

But yeah, that's all I will say for now even though I do have more to say! But this is a controversial subject that could probably go on for 20 pages or something.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

i'm stuck between "no" and "depends on the situation" ..i ended up going with it depends on the situation... it'd be kinda difficult at this point, because i'm not totally secure with myself, and you gotta be real confident and trusting to be with a guy who has a "baby mama", so that's probably my only reason why i want to say no... who knows, if the guy i end up falling in love with has a kid, then that's just the way the cookie crumbles...

 

[Waybuloo]

Also, I see alot of you don't agree to what Hadron said but I think I understand where his coming from. I too am guilty of judging people at times based on choices that they make in life and might avoid people that have made certain choices that I wouldn't have made or don't agree with.
Maybe he just wants someone that hasn't made the wrong choices in this matter, even if they did or didn't know it to begin with.
It all comes down to preference or what you're comfortable with I reckon.

I understand where he MIGHT be coming from, but he comes across as having tarnished the name of ALL single mothers by his opinion presumably on a certain type of woman who falls for irresponsible men at the outset.

He must be obtuse if he thinks that all women who raise a child/children alone are necessarily stupid or have been rejected.

There are women, independent or otherwise, who want to have babies on their own, or who reject their boyfriends/husbands over other matters. They don't necessarily think it is a bad choice for them, so who are you to say it is a wrong choice??
Oh and what about those men who tell their wives they will stick with them and want a family and then leave afterwards anyway. Can you predict what someone will do with 100% certainty?
Of course ur entitled to choose ppl based on your assessments, but don't think that because you are not able to raise a child it means other women are the same.

 

[Rexus]

I won't mind I find it cute if I can bond with her kids. I like kids. I'm amazed at the number of nos in here... are social phobics really that self absorbed? hmmm

 

[Remus]

are social phobics really that self absorbed? hmmm

I think so and socially immature too. It's the nature of the condition if you think about it.

 

[Mikefly]

depends on the person and how many children they have.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I think so and socially immature too. It's the nature of the condition if you think about it.

Just because of the lack of experience with people, or because the extreme self consciousness means you're always thinking about yourself, or what?

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I wouldn't date someone with kids, for numerous reasons. I tried to answer this question before by going into all the reasons, but it was too difficult, so I just have to leave my answer at "No, for numerous reasons." lol

 

[Remus]

Just because of the lack of experience with people, or because the extreme self consciousness means you're always thinking about yourself, or what?

Both yep.

Then avoidance has caused throughout childhood and adulthood for us to be socially inept

 

[Chlo]

I would yes.

 

[Fighter86]

Nope, highly unlikely. As it is, I don't think I would like to have my own kids for a variety of reasons, so I can't imagine having to look after someone else's.

 

[BlueDays]

.................

 

[Tangent]

I've really liked your replies in this thread, thao87. You've handled yourself with maturity and decorum, speaking with skill in hard places and never seeming to lose your head in the heated discussion.

I, personally, wouldn't mind dating someone with children but I do understand and appreciate your point of view

 

[AGR]

I won't mind I find it cute if I can bond with her kids. I like kids. I'm amazed at the number of nos in here... are social phobics really that self absorbed? hmmm

I can see why the no,doesnt mean we are immature or self absorved,taking care of a kid is a big responsability,now add that the kid isnt yours,I have a friend who goes trought that,I see what happens and personally if the girl wasnt really worth it or I had doubts about her,I wouldnt give a second thought about it.

 

[Lost Girl]

Eek. I have a child myself and even I would hesitate. When there are children in the mix, it's a whole other ball game. You would have to get the child's approval more or less, and it would ultimately depend on how you all work as a unit, as opposed to just two people. There would also be the ex constantly in your lives. Tricky tricky.

 

[Illusions]

Since I'm only 19 this year, of course not, there's no way I could handle that! When I'm older though... maybe, but I've always thought I'd need time to kick back, relax and have fun before having kids.

 

[AGR]

Eek. I have a child myself and even I would hesitate. When there are children in the mix, it's a whole other ball game. You would have to get the child's approval more or less, and it would ultimately depend on how you all work as a unit, as opposed to just two people. There would also be the ex constantly in your lives. Tricky tricky.

yep be prepared for the child completely reject you,confront you that you are not their father,sabotaging you,run to their father for protection and lie and things like that.