Would you date someone with kids
- Thread starter da_illest101
- Start date
Kids are a burden. I never want to have any kids of my own, let alone look after someone else's kids. That's the job of the biological father.
The only situation in which I think I may consider it is if their father was dead or was unable to look after the children for some reason. If the woman had the kids with a guy who later later on dumped her because he disliked responsibility, then I don't consider her to be worth it, really.
The only situation in which I think I may consider it is if their father was dead or was unable to look after the children for some reason. If the woman had the kids with a guy who later later on dumped her because he disliked responsibility, then I don't consider her to be worth it, really.
I'd never have a vasectomy because I'm too young and I may regret this later on in the future. People change, you know.
As for why I won't consider dating a woman who was dumped by her partner after they had kids....well, if she isn't smart enough to date a responsible person, then she is not good enough for me.
Bit of a touchy subject this with those here who are parents, I think it's very hard to judge and involvement can often vary.
I was involved in a relationship that we both had kids (mine were only 3 and 5) and both of us got attached to each others kids, then after a breakup there was alot of heartbreak for the children. Luckily they are all still in contact with each other.
The next relationship my kids were teens and I did not want my then GF to be involved (nor did she really want to be) and that worked fine.
I was involved in a relationship that we both had kids (mine were only 3 and 5) and both of us got attached to each others kids, then after a breakup there was alot of heartbreak for the children. Luckily they are all still in contact with each other.
The next relationship my kids were teens and I did not want my then GF to be involved (nor did she really want to be) and that worked fine.
A girl can be plenty smart and still be naive, especially if she married young. It happens a lot. Inexperience, the 'love' thing screwing up your judgment--part of being human.Hadron said:
Well, I'm sure you realise what kind of women I'm referring to here. Those that consider thugs and "bad boys" to be cool and all that. Even though they know full well that they are not good for them.
I'm not suggesting that that's the case in all situations, but in a large enough proportion that I think it's a fair reflection on those women.
Sorry, but I can't help how I feel. I know I'm generalising here a bit, but Generalising is an evolutionary trait that helps us work out the rough odds of how a situation may turn out to be. It's not always bad.
Danfalc
Banned
It's also probably the reason why we are some of us are stuck with out problems and unable to move on.Just because something simply is,doesn't mean it's good or healthy not to challenge.
This topic has been beaten to death so many times on this site,I don't mean to sound rude but I am sick of hearing about it.Not only is it insulting to females and stereotyping (something us social phobes don't like being.. labelled or judged..Ironic huh?) Funny thing is females could say guys only want girls who put out easy or other nonsense,it might hold a grain of truth to some people but not the vast majority or as a general rule.
You didn't specify which "type of women" you were on about btw,it just kind of came across that if a single mother is dumped on her own fault..That's one huge step to take imo.What about males running away from commitment or any other possible explanations.
bigrob
Well-known member
Eh...my wife has grown kids...25 year old twins. Her daughter is cool as heel, but he son is the opposite. It's like a movie where one gets good genes and the other the bad genes.
I seriously would like to beat his ass retarded. He has a bad case of "how much can I screw my life up and how many can I drag with me".
I seriously would like to beat his ass retarded. He has a bad case of "how much can I screw my life up and how many can I drag with me".
No probably not,depends on the girl,most single mothers I have met,were girls I would want to stay away,I also would not date someone who aborted ,its not like I have girls falling all the time for me that I can pick,but these things just dont go well with me.
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Right...So this all boils down to whether my "generalisation" is correct, huh? Not really where I wanted this discussion to go, as whether I'm correct or not is beside the point.
Look, I've never said that there is anything wrong with these women or anything. They are just not my type, ok.
I've known quite a few girls in my school who got dumped by their "gangsta/bad-boy" boyfriends right after they got pregnant- and that probably triggered this generalisation in me. I don't think they did anything wrong. And for all I care they can have 10 more kids with 10 different guys who will all eventually dump them. As long as they are happy I can't really complain now, can I? ( beside the point, again)
I'm just using this generalisation as a prediction of how a person may be like considering my previous experience with similar people. (perhaps future experience will change my mind, I don't know)
And besides, everyone else does the same thing when searching for a partner. For example, people are less likely to pick a mate who they are not physically attracted to because they instinctively know that the chances that they are fertile/have good genes are not that high.
I'm also sure that there are many, many traits about me that many people would find very unattractive. And I don't blame them for it. No one can change our nature...
Look, I've never said that there is anything wrong with these women or anything. They are just not my type, ok.
I've known quite a few girls in my school who got dumped by their "gangsta/bad-boy" boyfriends right after they got pregnant- and that probably triggered this generalisation in me. I don't think they did anything wrong. And for all I care they can have 10 more kids with 10 different guys who will all eventually dump them. As long as they are happy I can't really complain now, can I? ( beside the point, again)
I'm just using this generalisation as a prediction of how a person may be like considering my previous experience with similar people. (perhaps future experience will change my mind, I don't know)
And besides, everyone else does the same thing when searching for a partner. For example, people are less likely to pick a mate who they are not physically attracted to because they instinctively know that the chances that they are fertile/have good genes are not that high.
I'm also sure that there are many, many traits about me that many people would find very unattractive. And I don't blame them for it. No one can change our nature...
Yeah people usually grow up in thier 20's
rainstreet
Well-known member
absolutely not. my wife would get pissed.
I Still won't be comfortable dating such a woman. Same as I (and I'm sure I'm speaking for a lot of guys here) won't be comfortable dating a woman who slept with hundreds of guys in the past, but has changed when she got older.
You can have sex once and become pregnant you know, or were you expecting all 'suitable' women to be vestal virgins or something?
I think you need to lighted up a little, you've raised the bar far too high, I was once guilty of that in my youth and met constant dissapointment through high expectiation
I think you need to lighted up a little, you've raised the bar far too high, I was once guilty of that in my youth and met constant dissapointment through high expectiation
I don't necessarily expect them to be virgins. I just want to feel comfortable dating them.
I mean, I sure wouldn't be comfortable dating a woman who used to be a porn star. I'm not even 100% sure why that is. It's probably an instinct, though. Same as the instincts that make us go for good-looking/successful partners.
Such a woman? I thought the issue was someone who'd been left by a guy to take care of the kids. How did that become someone who'd slept with hundred of guys?
