why do girls play hard to get?

[Sinar_Matahari]

Should we play easy to get?

I know, right! If we're hard to get then we're stuck up bitches and if we're easy to get then we're whores? You just can't win with some people. ::

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I'd only play hard to get if the guy is excited by the challenge/chase and if there is some interest on my part. I'd make it pretty obvious that I'm interested and would not act otherwise. It's playful - and creates sexual tension. Good things come to those who wait. Why play games if there is no interest?

 

[doubleM]

i don't play hard to get unless i just don't want to be gotten, aka i don't like the guy.. ha.. if i don't want to have anything to do with you, i'll just ignore your texts/calls....

no offense but i dont understand this whole concept. if you dont like a guy or want to talk to him, why did you give him your number in the first place?
ive been thru this experience so many times over and over. so many women act this way. they seem interested then they change their mind or play a game. i dont get it.

 

[hinder87]

i don't play hard to get unless i just don't want to be gotten, aka i don't like the guy.. ha.. if i don't want to have anything to do with you, i'll just ignore your texts/calls but be civil if i end up seeing you out in person.... otherwise, i just play myself and expect the same from the guy, if i see that he's being dishonest or just acting like a dumbass or something, i'll start the ignore-the-sh!t-out-of-him phase so he'll get the message...

okay, but what if the guy doesnt get the message and keeps pursuing u? what would u do then? i've been lead on before when i kept pursuing a girl who kept flirting with me when in the end she wasnt even interested. we did this for 3 months and pretty much wasted my whole summer.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

doubleM i mean when a guy and i are friends and i get to know him and he's a jerk.. it's not like i'll meet a guy and give him my number even if i don't like him, i'd never do that.
...and anyway, if she seems to like you at first and then changes her mind, you can't just be mad at her about that.. people can sometimes be mistaken and then decide they don't like you for whatever reason. it's called getting to know someone..

hinder87 what i was saying is that when i don't like a guy, i don't lead him on.. it's obvious if i like someone or not... that's the point i was making, i was saying "playing hard to get" for me isn't a game, either i like a guy and i'm myself or i don't like a guy and he knows i dislike him..

i didn't know what i posted would seem so damn complicated, my bad.

 

[panicsurvivor]

Because they are smart.

 

[doubleM]

doubleM i mean when a guy and i are friends and i get to know him and he's a jerk.. it's not like i'll meet a guy and give him my number even if i don't like him, i'd never do that.
...and anyway, if she seems to like you at first and then changes her mind, you can't just be mad at her about that.. people can sometimes be mistaken and then decide they don't like you for whatever reason. it's called getting to know someone..

i dont get mad about it. its just discouraging.
if the guy turns out to be a jerk to you its understandable. you worded your post in such a way it sounded like that sorry.

the last girl i had a date with bailed on me. i guess she changed her mind. but its still rude.

 

[Waybuloo]

no offense but i dont understand this whole concept. if you dont like a guy or want to talk to him, why did you give him your number in the first place?
ive been thru this experience so many times over and over. so many women act this way. they seem interested then they change their mind or play a game. i dont get it.

I once gave my number at a dance thing but I had zero interest, it was more of a social thing, see I don't know how to say 'no I don't want to give you my number'. If I get a guy talking to me, even pestering me, I act civil which may be interpreted as a come on.

 

[mrb]

Should we play easy to get?

yea gary runs ... with pookah in hot pursuit chase me chase me pookah ....... and if you do catch me be gentle ........

 

[Feathers]

lol I agree with Pookah and Serafina...

And I don't know, are some of you guys mistaking 'hard to get' with lying?
You can be truthful and still 'hard to get'.
It's just about not giving 'everything' to the guy (you don't even know) right away and not overwhelming him with yourself and your many terrible problems, but slowly dosing the getting-to-know-you stages...

Of course the whole thing only works long-term if there's honesty etc.

And yeah, giving a phone number or flirting can be a number of things.. Some girls even give out fake numbers, or flirt simply because you talk to her. Especially if you talk in an outrageous manner or something. I know I talked with guys and just because I'm nice and friendly and have a sense of humor they thought I was flirting. I had absolutely no interest in some of those guys, but it was easier to talk to them than someone I was really interested in.
And as parties are social occasions, aren't you supposed to talk to people? Honestly, do you guys just want girls who are interested in you 'that way' to talk to you? Then those girls can be seen as 'rude' and other guys a girl might like might be scared off.. It's called politeness.

Also, a girl may be bored and talk to you, especially if you have something interesting to say, or there is no one/nothing more interesting around. Some guys may be just bored and talk or dance with you (or even kiss or make out with you!) because of that also! So having some standards and being selective and 'playing hard to get' just makes sense to weed out those... Honestly, I think it even makes sense for guys to play 'hard to get' - a bit. (And PUA artists say, 'Think of you as the prize!' Though I wouldn't recommend everything they do!!)

Some people may flirt all the time and can't seem to 'turn it off'. (I don't really like it, I think it's still better to keep some distance if you can.) I have a friend who constantly causes guys to misinterpret. She's just a person who likes to touch and hug other people all the time.. /sigh/
She's sometimes not very 'hard to get' but she's 'hard to keep'!! So, what's better??

 

[Feathers]

I once gave my number at a dance thing but I had zero interest, it was more of a social thing, see I don't know how to say 'no I don't want to give you my number'. If I get a guy talking to me, even pestering me, I act civil which may be interpreted as a come on.

Waybuloo, I found that difficult at times too. Or I thought, 'Hey maybe we can be friends or something.' My gorgeous cousin simply outright denies it though, and it may be better in the long run. She says, 'If we'll meet, we'll meet' or 'See you around' or something like that (it's difficult to translate), if she doesn't like the guy. She may even go for a drink with someone and not give them her number. She sometimes dresses quite sexy and used to do some waitressing etc, and if she just gave out her phone number to anyone, can you imagine?

 

[Feathers]

okay, but what if the guy doesnt get the message and keeps pursuing u? what would u do then? i've been lead on before when i kept pursuing a girl who kept flirting with me when in the end she wasnt even interested. we did this for 3 months and pretty much wasted my whole summer.

That's why some dating books recommend to be socializing with at least three possible 'candidates' at a time so if one of them 'bails on you, you still have others. (By socializing I don't mean sleeping with or such, just getting to know!!)

Also think about it this way: if this girl didn't text or talk with you, wouldn't you be even more bored and your summer might be even more 'wasted'? At least you got to 'practise' some basic flirting and interaction with girls, and it may come helpful next time!!

 

[da_illest101]

i really wonder why they do that, seriously i always drop them when they do that, i find it annoying

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I know I talked with guys and just because I'm nice and friendly and have a sense of humor they thought I was flirting. I had absolutely no interest in some of those guys, but it was easier to talk to them than someone I was really interested in.

Now, that's the truth. I've had people think I was flirting because I like to laugh, smile and am friendly (even if it's not always apparent on here :. One of the reasons why I became freaked out with making eye-contact with men is because some guys tend to interpret that as flirting or interest. At work, one guy made an awkward mention of his wife just because I was friendly and made eye contact with him while we spoke. Needlessly flattering himself.

And as parties are social occasions, aren't you supposed to talk to people? Honestly, do you guys just want girls who are interested in you 'that way' to talk to you? Then those girls can be seen as 'rude' and other guys a girl might like might be scared off.. It's called politeness.

This is all very true. This thought has crossed my mind before. I'll talk to anyone who isn't rude or obnoxious. Again, you just can't win with some people. If you talk to them then you must have sexual or romantic interest and if you don't then you're stuck up, rude or lack social skills.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I didn't know they did. Suppose that goes hand in hand with the great inability.

 

[AutonomousAutomaton]

If I don't like you, I am *being* hard to get. I am not playing. If I like you, you'll know.

 

[coyote]

see - the the thing is - for a lot of guys, it's not always as clear as you ladies think it is.

you think we should know that you like us, and you want us to pursue - but some of us are not as quick to catch on

then, when we DON'T give chase - you wonder why, or assume we're not interested, when - in fact - we ARE....

so the question is - HOW DO WE KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE PLAYING "HARD TO GET" - BUT REALLY DO WANT US TO KEEP HITTING ON YOU, OR IF YOU ARE GENUINELY NOT INTERESTED?

 

[Pookah]

How do we know if guys only want sex or are in for the long haul? Same deal.

 

[coyote]

How do we know if guys only want sex or are in for the long haul? Same deal.

All we want is sex - the "long haul" is just so that we can have sex for a long time without having to expend the energy to go look for it again.

there - the secret is out

 

[Pookah]

All we want is sex - the "long haul" is just so that we can have sex for a long time without having to expend the energy to go look for it again.

there - the secret is out

I find that unacceptable. I guess I'm more than hard to get, more like impossible.