why do girls play hard to get?

[coyote]

Well, we (men) can just keep hoping that you (women) will want to have sex with us as much as we want to have sex with you.

I'm just putting it in simple terms - without all the flowery romantics.

The end result is the same - we choose you over all the other ones out there.

If I were to forsake all others for you - in the end, does it matter why?

Sometimes the labels we assign to our actions are only a matter of convenience.

God, this sounds horrible, I know.

Really, I'm just trying to be honest.

Maybe it's just me.

I can be very romantic, given the chance.

 

[EasySkanking]

Like I said before, women are too complicated. Worse than a rubix cube, I swear!

I think coyote has a point that all we want is sex... it's not as bad as it sounds if you think about it... what's the ultimate way to show appreciation or love for someone that you really care about? It's through love-making/sex right? We (guys) want the best thing from relationships - sex.

I'm not really very experienced with relationships, so I'll leave it at that. All I know is that we want sex and if the girl that we meet happens to be super awesome in other ways as well, all the better and we'll stick around for "the long haul". I dunno... like I said, I don't know much about this, but that's my opinion

 

[Pookah]

Well, for this woman.... Its about that elusive love thing. The sense of family, closeness, care and companionship. Sex is not the end all be all because one day one of you will probably grow tired of that or won't be able to do it (probably you, the male ) and all that will be left is what you have in common.

I despair if this is not the case for men because then what use is it?

 

[EasySkanking]

I think you're right. But for the most part ("generally speaking"), men are looking for sex most of the time. I think, if a guy just happens to see the most beautiful thing in the world, that just happens to be the girl of his dreams (in terms of morals, believes, etc.), then I think he'll get that "elusive love thing" through his head as well.

For me, personally, most of the time when I see women that I am attracted to, I just want to jump on them and "devour" them! But when I see someone that is just my type physically and later I find that she is my type personality-wise as well, I day-dream about marrying her, having children with her, and taking care of her. But that happens very rarely... Like I said, for the most part, I think we just want sex lol

Men are hornier than women, imo... so maybe that's why

 

[coyote]

.... that elusive love thing. The sense of family, closeness, care and companionship....

That is important to us, too.

But we can have that with our El Camino, our fishing buddies, our mom.

What we have that is special with YOU is the physical intimacy.

There's something different between a man and a woman - basically it's their genitalia.

 

[EasySkanking]

^ I think you're right . Good point mate!

 

[dottie]

you are like the only honest male in the world, coyote. horrible? it sounds like the truth that people in general don't want to hear because it seems so un-PC when put in layman's terms.

 

[coyote]

@ Pookah

You're probably thinking I'm some horrible misogynistic pig right now.

Really, I'm very sweet and romantic. I love women. I love loving women.

I'm very much in touch with my feminine side.

I'm really just trying to be honest and simple with the whole dynamic between the sexes as I see it. All the games get so frustrating sometimes. I just want to cut through all the BS and get to the point.

Love and family and long term commitments are awesome.

I wish sometimes that they had been upheld by the women I had made them with.

 

[Pookah]

I'm sorry, just my brain can't wrap around that. I am sure I am a sexual being too, but I want to care about someone first. That other stuff comes later. I'm not sure men understand how a woman feels when he "gets what he wants" and leaves us feeling humiliated. A man would not likely feel humiliated if that were flipped. He would be like "SCORE!"

I find that disturbing actually. Thanks for the insight though. Ah...to be an object. No wonder.

 

[coyote]

I would never leave you feeling humiliated.

I can't wrap my brain around that.

To me, having sex is not about "taking" something from you.

I don't see you as an object - I see you as a partner.

It's about sharing - in mind, spirit, and body.

A union.

What is so wrong with that?

 

[EasySkanking]

^ True that.

 

[hinder87]

how do u guys feel about dates set up by a friend? i think it's nerve-racking! might be worst that when a girl plays hard to get. at least ur in control of who u are after and not a friend setting u up with who might be a random person!

 

[Pookah]

Since is it is giving and taking....sometimes it can feel more like something is being taken. To me the absence of emotional bond doesn't sit well in the psyche. If it all hinges on that one thing the whole idea of "romantic relationships" doesn't sound worth it.

I'm just trying to relate here in this thread how at least one female feels.

The sexes can't obviously share everything. The act of penetrating for instance differs psychologically from allowing the penetration. (Hope that isn't too adult for the forum. ) There is trust involved.

Maybe I think too much, could be that. Eh well. Thread kinda depresses me a little to be honest.

 

[doubleM]

@ Pookah.... I'm really just trying to be honest and simple with the whole dynamic between the sexes as I see it. All the games get so frustrating sometimes. I just want to cut through all the BS and get to the point.

Love and family and long term commitments are awesome.

I wish sometimes that they had been upheld by the women I had made them with.

thats sort of the way i see it. im not a casual relationship type of person. im not the type to go around playing with a girls head just so i can get in her pants. ive always desired long term and the long haul. im very straightforward and honest. i guess its not cool to be honest, or sound intelligent, or be polite. mind you i dont go around kissing ass or being too nice.
i cant play their game.
instead they play the games on me. then i get upset, depressed, and post on some forum, the only place i have to vent and have to listen to ohh you did this wrong and all this feminist bs. it couldnt possibly be a womans fault!
i dont think i did a single thing wrong.

EDIT: sorry if i went off on a tangent. just proving a point.

 

[AGR]

Not all guys are like that,is sex important?
yes but its not the most important thing,if I really loved the girl I wouldnt mind,if for some reason she didnt want to have sex at all,its been a REALLY long time since I had any sort of sexual contact too,I had chances but I turned down all of them,because I felt nothing towards them.

 

[coyote]

Since is it is giving and taking....sometimes it can feel more like something is being taken. To me the absence of emotional bond doesn't sit well in the psyche. If it all hinges on that one thing the whole idea of "romantic relationships" doesn't sound worth it.

I'm just trying to relate here in this thread how at least one female feels.

The sexes can't obviously share everything. The act of penetrating for instance differs psychologically from allowing the penetration. (Hope that isn't too adult for the forum. ) There is trust involved.

Maybe I think too much, could be that. Eh well. Thread kinda depresses me a little to be honest.

I understand where you're coming from.

I never said that there was no emotional bond. Sex, for a man, is very emotional. In fact, I would say that having sex is precisely how he demonstrates his emotions. Men tend to express themselves physically rather than verbally.

In sex, if a man is "taking" - he is expressing one thing. If he is "giving" he is expressing quite another. And yet the mechanical aspects may be described quite the same. Does that make sense?

From personal experience - I have had very deep, spiritually fulfilling, expressive lovemaking in which no one was penetrated. Penetration is merely one aspect (and, from my experience, often requested by the female as a physical expression of her own) of the union - but not the only one that a man wishes to express.

 

[Pookah]

Maybe I misunderstood but I was under the impression that the initial interest....the initial goal from what you said is the sex. Therefore there can't yet be an emotional bond....not when you just meet someone. I don't think sex will lead to love as easily as love leads to sex.

That is why I've continued to post because that is what I didn't understand. How something meaningful can arise from something mundane. I should think that emotions give the sex meaning not the sex itself creating attachment. Because that tends to be unhealthy and especially bad for women when it turns out it was meaningless.

 

[coyote]

We're very simple creatures really.

It's all one and the same.

Parts of it we just dress up and make pretty.

It makes for better literature.

 

[dottie]

I'm just trying to relate here in this thread how at least one female feels.

did you mean me?

i completely agree with what you said. i would not have sex with just anyone. there absolutely has to be an emotional bond and a long term commitment. i'm just saying as members of the animal kingdom the whole reason we seek out partners on a very primitive, but very real level is for procreation: sex. whether we choose to have kids or not on the conscious level the subconscious drive for procreation/sex is in our DNA. fortunately we are more advanced than say, ducks who rape each other and we have the choice of what we require from people before engaging in sex.

 

[coyote]

Maybe I misunderstood but I was under the impression that the initial interest....the initial goal from what you said is the sex. Therefore there can't yet be an emotional bond....not when you just meet someone. I don't think sex will lead to love as easily as love leads to sex.

That is why I've continued to post because that is what I didn't understand. How something meaningful can arise from something mundane. I should think that emotions give the sex meaning not the sex itself creating attachment. Because that tends to be unhealthy and especially bad for women when it turns out it was meaningless.

We get interested in you because you're someone we want to have sex with.

We get to know you, and we want to have sex with you because we we want to show you how much we like you.

You have sex with us, and we love you. And then we want to have sex with you to show you how much we love you.

You love us, and we we want to have sex with you to show our appreciation and devotion to you.

The sex is not meaningless - it's an integral part of the entire process - as much as the emotions are.

We are creatures of flesh and blood, not just of mind.