Ok I got pretty in-depth in here.
It's really beneficial to lay it all out for once
1. (I parents) Observation and a highly sheltered environment.
My mom has SA herself severely, as well as both parents having depression. Also I was emotionally neglected and never given any 'physical touch' from the parents. I think this definitely contributed, if not caused, my fear of intimacy and human touch. My mother was also
extremely cautious and paranoid and still is. So somehow along with being neglected, I was very sheltered when I did go out.
2. Exclusion.
I moved when I was 10ish from a place that I fit in wonderfully and felt like I had friends that were family to a place where I was regarded as a fat frizzy freak and left out. I was also excluded from my own family, which leads me to
3. Taunting, mockery.
My family would gather around and basically laugh about all the things that were "wrong" with me. I guess it was their way of bonding. Sometimes I would try to break it up and then they would mock me for trying to be 'a peacemaker'. Most of the time they would just insult the way I did everything I did around them, or they would all laugh about how slow I was. One day I had a grand realization. I realized that when one of them targetted me, or when they all targetted me together, if I were to agree with everything they called me, that they would get no fun out of it anymore. It didn't really work, they instead made fun of me for agreeing with them, but I believe I actually grew to believe all that they said, especially because I was now reinforcing it to myself by saying outloud.
Also the school children in the new school I moved to made fun of me a lot. Lucky for me I was very very oblivious to it, the exclusion definitely affected me more than what that bunch said.
4. (II Parents') High Expectations
This ties into the first reason. the parents. My parents needed me to be the best, and even that was not good enough. I was making model airplanes for my 3rd grade class out of twigs as unasked for extra credit and amazing efforts like that, but I did not receive any direct praise. Instead, the expectations were set higher, and when I 'performed' at life any lower I would disappoint my parents.
5. (III parents) My Mother's Own Problems.
This sounds like I already mentioned it but this played a huge role in my SA. My mom had, and still has a bit of, severe ADD, depression, paranoia, some OCD, high anxiety levels and social anxiety, and extreme fatigue all the time. We have discovered this was a part of a food intolerance but she still refuses to give up the food that is doing it.. Anyway. She put her problems on us all. If she was talking to somebody and we interrupted, she would blow up at us because of her ADD. She was so paranoid that when we laughed in the backyard, she would think we were plotting against her to bug her in the kitchen, so that was banned.. laughter I mean. Even a glance at my sister, and my mom would think that I was "plotting to annoy her". So we were scolded for every single word we said around her, every movement we made, every thing we left behind, every action that allowed her to see that we existed and that we 'interrupted' her ADHD life. I remember learning just not to speak because then I wouldn't get in trouble when tried to pick fights with me. But even then I'd get in trouble for not speaking! Anyways now i'm just ranting but it's good to get out of the system...
6. Avoidance, spurring from depression, and escapism.
Been depressed since childhood, and have had very strong fatigue since childhood, so I gave up easily and just started avoiding. I did this by hiding in early escapes. Novels, computer games, they were my life for years and years.
7. Raised isolated
I was literally raised in front of a computer, TV and books. But mainly the computer. I have been on the computer and other game systems 10+ hours a day since.. birth! It was a set-up by my father who was a computer technician, apparently it was so he didn't have to deal with me, or so my mother says that he admitted
8. Genetics, AKA... Genetic Food intolerances
Caused a lot of my anxiety/depression, caused all of my suspected "add" as well as psychosis/visual distortion and chronic fatigue syndrome. All the problems my mother has as well are caused by certain foods that she still eats, she knows it.